Sexism is a Thing
There were also the times when rape was a fact of life, like during every war ever, including the conflicts between "civilized" peoples during WWI and II.
It's all still there today in different forms. At the extreme end fraternity culture which objectifies women so totally we need to have national conversation about how rape is bad.
But there are also many subtle currents in tech that lead to an exclusionary environment. She's not invited to the bar with the guys. She's not welcome in the testosterone atmosphere of the game room (someone make another balls joke). She must deal with a number of socially awkward people who have trouble interacting with those who are different. And finally scepticism about her hacking skills. I personally participate in "boy's club" activities. I personally am awkward. I personally have some kind of bias where I expect less from female coders until proven wrong. I see these subtle currents in my own actions and experience.
And I'm not even going to get into the seething hatred outspoken women often face in the form of online bullying and death threats.
"Women need to stop whining about sexism," is a totally callous response which ignores the ways in which women are made to feel as outsiders. You know how black people faced all this prejudice in the 60's and yet some are still virulently homophobic today? I think it's kind of like that with tech where people who used to be unpopular nerds don't know how to treat the minority in their own midst with respect and acceptance.
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[ 4.8 ms ] story [ 38.4 ms ] threadBlack men have long been emasculated in America. They were purposely separated from their families during the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade and today they continue to be separated from their families due to the prison industrial complex. During and post slavery, their genitals were also taken as trophy pieces during and after lynchings. This was done to cease reproduction, prevent sex with white women, for entertainment and it was also a warning sign to keep other black men in check.
This has lead to defensiveness and insecurity about their mansculinity that has lead to the homophobia and sexism. Huey Newton said "We want to hit a homosexual in the mouth because we are afraid that we might be homosexual; and we want to hit the women or shut her up because we are afraid that she might castrate us, or take the nuts that we might not have to start with."
Similarly, the trope of the nerdy male juxtaposed against the letter-wearing jock is one that hurt many in the hacker community. The narrative is that these men are unattractive or desirable partners unless their skills make them wealthy. In that cultural climate, the emasculated nerd is encouraged to see women either as targets of resentment, or as trophies.
So why is it okay to generalize an entire culture as 'raping women'?? Most frat members aren't rapists.
We shouldn't be trying to fight generalizations and stereotypes with more of the same.
"She's not invited to the bar with the guys. She's not welcome in the testosterone atmosphere of the game room (someone make another balls joke)."
She's welcome, as long as she doesn't complain when she hears another 'balls joke'. I should be able to say anything I want outside of work, even if it's offensive, without being fired from my job. If you can't handle this, there is a reason why you aren't invited.
"She must deal with a number of socially awkward people who have trouble interacting with those who are different."
Wow, more generalizations...
"And finally scepticism about her hacking skills. I personally participate in "boy's club" activities. I personally am awkward. I personally have some kind of bias where I expect less from female coders until proven wrong. I see these subtle currents in my own actions and experience."
You have to earn respect. So many people bullshit about their skills (male or female) and most people are skeptics until they see it in action. You are now equal.
"and I'm not even going to get into the seething hatred outspoken women often face in the form of online bullying and death threats."
Online doesn't count, because you are dealing with so many different types of people (men/women/kids). I've been bullied online more times than I can count. It's so easy to ignore.
"You know how black people faced all this prejudice in the 60's and yet some are still virulently homophobic today? I think it's kind of like that with tech where people who used to be unpopular nerds don't know how to treat the minority in their own midst with respect and acceptance."
You keep using the word 'respect'. You have to earn respect. It seems like you feel like just because you are a woman, we should immediately assume that you are a good coder/hacker/anything.
The world doesn't work this way and forcing the issue does absolutely nothing for your cause.
You sound like you need some help. Maybe see a therapist?
Until you acknowledge that women objectify men, and that conforming to societies expectations is also damaging to men, you will never solve anything
#GasTheIdiots
What do you want me to do, just agree with you? OK, agreed. So what? What actionable, quantifiable thing do you propose should be done? Or can I just give the problem lip service and call it a day? Keep in mind I have my own life to live, my own problems to deal with.