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"traveling several hours for a coffee date"

Guys I know at SpaceX don't have time for dates because they're working late every night of the week or have given up on relationships after having failed ones because of working too much.

And the CEO need a vacation or something.
Serious question...why are they still there? Do they believe that strongly in what they are doing to make those kinds of sacrifices with their personal life and health?
Probably. If you buy into the vision, as many geeks-turned-engineers do, it's perfectly reasonable to make those sacrifices. Hell, if I were an American citizen, I'd be doing everything to join the party (instead, I'm trying to figure out if I can help out over at ESA somehow).
Additionally to ESA, the national agencies and the established players, there's a still small but growing private space industry (or NewSpace or Space 2.0) in Europe. Interested?
Oh hell yes! I didn't realize we had any private space industry in Europe (besides the fine folks at Copenhagen Suborbitals, who are a non-profit). Could you provide more details? Thanks!
Basically we have (a) small satellites / nanosats / CubeSats, there are several companies in the EU like SSTL in the UK or Berlin Space Technologies, (b) new launchers (aiming for the satellite market first) like Swiss Space Systems and (c) those shooting for the Moon like Part-Time Scientists (I'm involved). That's the upstream side.

Downstream would be typical satellite applications (usually communication, navigation, imaging / Earth observation), though I don't know their names out of my head. Sometimes one sees a crowdfunding campaign aiming for some novel application. The lunar applications are mostly different, more on the space science and space mining side.

And of course many things not directly doing rocket science. Just some ideas: space suit sensor networks, big data and analytics for spaceflight medicine R&D, AI for autonomous vehicles or on-site assessments a.s.o. Could be done via established smaller suppliers (e.g. co-funded via Horizon 2020 grants) or own project / startup attempts. Even quite a few of the established players moderately embrace the digitalization and automation wave, so they're open for novel techniques and approaches.

One could get involved with one of the many Mars Society chapters and see whether one could spin off something there.

Our challenge is to create a European private space ecosystem. Luckily we have tech and talent, but compared to the US we're small, underfunded, not well connected. Part of my work is to change that, but I'm still preparing.

There's an older post of mine re the GLXP: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=9916217

Since you're into Lisp, you perhaps like this one: http://www.flownet.com/gat/jpl-lisp.html

You don't necessarily need to be a US citizen. (Not speaking of SpaceX specifically, but commercial space activity in the US in general.) It's possible to get an "export license" which allows you to participate in ITAR-controlled discussions, even if you are a not a citizen or Green Card holder. (My understanding is that it takes some effort, though—it might be hard to find a company that would jump through the hoops without a strong motivation.) Another option is to participate academically through a masters or Ph.D. program—some are well connected with the commercial-space world.