Ask HN: I don't like my new job, now what?

Life is too short to stress about how leaving an unhappy situation will affect how people will view you professionally—just do it.

If possible, stick it out for a year. Many hiring managers view that as fulfilling your initial obligations after being hired (hiring expense etc.).

Try to find a way to make lemonade with the lemons you work with. Maybe you'll teach them a thing or two. Also, possibly some of their criticism is valid, regardless of how poorly delivered...

This type of personalities are common in the tech world. Get used to it. Don't let it rock your boat. Do your job, do it the way your superiors want it done(no matter how you prefer to do it). If they want their eggs scrambbled, make them scrambbled, if they want them overeasy, make them overweasy. The customer is always right because they pay you to do it the way they want it. No need to bring your personal opinions into the work place. If it's too uncomfortable, like someone else said here, tough it out for a year then make a move.

Leave. Explain the resume issue: "It was a toxic working environment".

Staying there for a whole year will kill your soul

Anyway that's gonna happen as you grow up

Wanna get back to them and show them they ain't shit? Be profoundly, intolerably nice to them especially when they 'correct' you. "oh, I didn't know that! Thanks! Any books specifically you could recommend on (x subject in the news that's really their hot take)?"

Then, at month 10-11 of working there, begin looking for a new job immediately.

Wanna get back to them and show them they ain't shit? Be profoundly, intolerably nice to them especially when they 'correct' you. "oh, I didn't know that! Thanks! Any books specifically you could recommend on (x subject in the news that's really their hot take)?"

Then, at month 10-11 of working there, begin looking for a new job immediately.

Hello OP.

I just spent a year at a company that was toxic towards team members who simply did not an aggressive personality. I was one of those team members. It led me to become pessimistic and depressed, and my positive outlook on life quickly changed and I became the most negative I've ever been. I began to constantly criticize IT and development decisions unconsciously, and it got so bad that eventually even the simplest JavaScript code would piss me off.

I started looking around and I got a job offer. As soon as I was going to accept the job offer, someone at my current employer discovered that I was planning to leave and my boss caught wind of it (I suspect I left my computer open). My boss pulled me aside and actually convinced me to stay because of the prospects of success. The company had already given me big bonuses and had very good benefits. That was four months ago. I made the choice to stay in a toxic environment just for some arbitrary gain.

Three weeks ago, out of seemingly nowhere, I got fired. I let go of a valuable opportunity because I convinced myself of some arbitrary gains by staying and I had fears of leaving.

I was desperate to find another job and I accepted a terrible offer using terrible technology. I thought I was fucked; I was severely depressed because it was the first time I had gotten fired from a serious position. But I got lucky. Although I'm now working at another company with terrible technology (ASP.NET Web Forms), the people are the nicest and sweetest coworkers I've ever met. I'm happier here, working with shitty technology and shitty prospects, just because my environment is that much better. And I'm not settling here: I am constantly looking for better positions (and contracts) and looking to advance my career until I find the company that I fit in and is a good fit for me as well.

DON'T SETTLE. LEAVE. If you're not happy, don't stay in the position you're in. Unless you need to build your resume or gain experience, there's no reason for you to stay faithful to a company with a toxic environment. You're going to be there eight hours a day, and if things don't work out they will IMMEDIATELY fire you and you'll be fucked, like I was. Usually a toxic environment simply means that you don't fit, and they will let you go simply for not being a fit. Don't make the mistake I made; leave.

One last thing: good developers tend to be overly critical, but that doesn't mean all overly critical people are good developers or even good workers. Many developers have terrible social skills and are unable to properly and professionally express their opinions or thoughts. Don't let anyone tell you how you should be treated or what you should be okay with. If you have a gut feeling that the people you work with are unprofessional, don't brush it off as "oh, they're developers. That's how all developers are." This is a fucking cop-out. I have met plenty competent developers who are able to give constructive criticism without being a complete dick.

Work is one thing, your co-workers are another. If you don't like the people you are spending 40+ hours a week with, I'd begin looking for something else. It sounds like you've given it a pretty fair shot. Software is easy to fix compared to people.

How long have you been there so far?

It's a job-shoppers' market right now. Six months is a fine time to work in a caustic environment. Explain yourself clearly and it wont matter at all.

If you think the situation is unlikely to improve, line up a better job and then quit. You don't have to tolerate a dysfunctional team. It won't affect your resume or job prospects and joining a better team will enhance your career.

After many years and many jobs i've bought into this philosophy - good work environment, good work and good pay; 3 out of 3 is ideal, 2 out of the 3 is minimum. If you can't get at least 2 out of those 3, just quit. Don't worry about how it would look on your resume. If you know your stuff there will always be places who will accept 'toxic work environment' as a reasonable explanation for quitting a job. In fact, if you are going to use that excuse, it is better that you quit now rather than a year from now to avoid answering the question 'if it was so bad, why did you stick around for over a year? '

Yep get another job offer and leave. If they try to convince you to stay with a higher pay or something, don't take it because they will let you go as soon as they get a chance anyway.

You can mention in your exit interview that your manager was nice and you were leaving due to a dysfunctional team if you want.

Unfortunately, it sounds like this job isn't a fit for you. I was in the same position 2 years ago when I joined a company, and four months in, I dreaded going to work everyday. The CTO liked to mock competitors with young CEOs, the product manager and eng manager I worked with were racist against Latinos, and the senior eng team had a dogmatic view on writing software. Needless to say, I lined up another job and left. It was the best decision I ever made. Now I'm surrounded by open-minded, supportive, and creative individuals.

I was in the same boat a year ago. Started a job in June 2014, thought about leaving in July, and started prepping for interviews in October. I did the bare minimum and studied for interviews everyday. My boss even caught me working on leetcode during a meeting. I had to host a couple of team morale events to avoid suspicion.

I also annoyed management by trying to start a salary spreadsheet. That was fun.

I stayed till August 2015 because of the 1 year thing and for a whopping $5,000 worth of options. But after I jumped, I discovered that a lot of people leave bad jobs within a year. I think it's okay as long as you don't do it more than once.

Lastly, would you trust someone you barely know? I wouldn't. Don't talk to your manager.

tl:dr

1. Life is short and software market is hot.

2. Get ready to leave but don't make it too obvious. ;)

You can give your manager the chance to make a modification, but you should be mentally prepared to leave before you do that. They probably won't fire you just for explaining some interpersonal difficulties, but it will mark you as a dissatisfied employee and fundamentally change your relationship with the company. You'll be at the top of the list for layoffs or other adverse action.

Don't go into this with any expectation that anything will get fixed. Most likely, the manager will take your concerns to your co-workers and tell them to fly right, they'll make a token effort for a couple of weeks, and it'll go right back to the way it was after that.

You don't owe them anything; leave, as soon as you can.

> but I don't know that there's any way he could address the issues...

Biggest headache for a boss is getting team members to play nice with each other.

The ability to solve problems with ones peers is a desirable managerial quality. Interpersonal savvy is very much a learned & practiced skill. This could prove a huge opportunity for your professional growth.

Suggest reading up in this area, Robert Bolton's book on People Skills is a good place to start > http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/65327.People_Skills

Ultimately, moving on to a new company is easy. But dealing with difficult peers never fully goes away.

From my personal experience, I can say that such teams are toxic and you have 2 options: 1) don't say anything publicly, just focus on the work, and 2) leave. If the company has a huge turnover (like the one I worked at), nobody will say anything about leaving quickly. Just be confident, you cannot lower your value as a developer and human being just to fit some bad, toxic place.

This sounds like a personality conflict.

Old joke: "Personality conflict" is one of those code phrases for "Somebody here is an asshole"

Seriously, though, team members have certain styles, and teams fit together in a certain way. Most companies never figure out that you can take 4 or 5 great teams, remix all the people, then end up with 4 or 5 horrible teams. It's not skills -- a lot has to do with the way the personalities mix.

If you are completely out to sea -- unaware of how to continue -- perhaps you just name it and shame it. "Hey Joe, I see you're trying to teach me error handling again although I've been doing this longer than you have. Okay if I start doing the same to you?" Then start doing it.

Was working with a CEO of a small company once. I think they had around 100-120 employees, all knowledgeable about a certain part of tech. I was brought in also as somebody who knew what he was doing, but since I was working directly with the CEO, I kind of held back a bit to see how he worked.

Bad decision. He ran over me. The first time he mentioned something they had invited me in on, I tried to raise my hand. He ignored me. The second time I was a little more insistent. By Day 3, he started in on the same topic again, I simply said "You know, I've written a couple of small books about this and devised my own training material. But what the hell do I know?"

I wish I could say that solved the problem. It did not. He was still an asshole and we didn't get along. But I had to take what he was doing to me and do it right back to him for him to be able to see it. I got to start doing the work they had hired me for. If we had continued working together after that first week, it would have probably gotten very interesting!

Either you walk or give as good as you get. If you're shy and the others are domineering, passive and passive/aggressive techniques are just going to make it worse.

I'll just add my $0.02 and say that sticking a job for a year is not necessary. I quit my first job shortly after I passed my probation - it was my first job out of university, and whilst the people weren't toxic, the work was, and the commute was hell like I have never encountered before. Right after I passed my probation things actually got worse, because then (as is normal in the UK) I had a 1-month notice period. I needed money to start paying my student loans so I'd stuck with the awful job, but once the first 3 months were up, I fell into depression. It was an extremely bleak period in my life. I was able to pull my boss to one side and talked to him at great length about the work I was doing, that I didn't feel I was contributing anything meaningful, that I was wasting my time in the job. He empathised, but there was little we could do to improve things. I looked at moving teams, but nothing appealed. We came to conclusion that the company and me were mutually incompatible. Shortly thereafter, I handed in my notice. I left at the 5-month mark.

About 6 months later, when I was feeling better, I interviewed for a job closer to home. When asked about why I was only at my first job for 5 months, I answered that I left for personal reasons. The matter wasn't pushed, but I later felt like I'd blown it. Much to my surprise, I got an offer, and a good one. I'm still at this company 2 and a half years later.

My conclusion is that no job is ever worth staying in if you don't feel like you're doing anything meaningful. If I'd tried to stick my first job for a full year, I would have topped myself. I couldn't stand working like that. I discussed the faults of my old job with my new colleagues after I started here and they understood.

As long as you're not hopping jobs every few months, you should be able to convince your interviewer it was a one-off. Don't worry about trying to work a full year in a toxic environment. Move on if you need to. At the end of the day, you can put a spin on your resume, but you can't spin your personal satisfaction with your job.

In my opinion, you should only go to your manager if it has an effect on your work. Even then it's rare. Since you're the new guy and the others have presumably been there for a while... You will find it difficult to make your case. You risk running up against the trope of not being a 'team player'.

Honestly what you described does not sound that bad. You should think about other similar situations in your past that you have had with other people and try to see if you have a pattern of needing to be right. It is entirely possible you are externalizing some fault in your own personality.

Regardless, look at it as a learning opportunity. If you can't handle the various personalities in the world without it effecting you on a personal level, you're going to have a tough time.

Leave. You will not be able to change the personalities of those you work with and going above their heads to complain will not put you in a better position (unless doing so could move you to another team). One job stint at 6 months will not hurt you. I would argue your work environment is the most important part of your job. You spend a lot of your waking hours with these people, you don't want to be miserable.

Sharing knowledge is not bad.

I experienced this exact phenomenon when I took a job in a new region (Pacific NW). Out of the team of 6 non-managers, half were amazing and fun people. The other three were myopic, antisocial assholes. Add to that my manager was an absentminded professor type, and his boss was super intense/smart, and scared the living day lights out of everyone because she didn't understand that new employees needed help understanding what concepts she was explaining.

The point is, I was miserable, and after 3-4 months I knew it was not the right team for me. I found a new job quickly (networking, kids!) and once I found out my new start date I had a talk with my immediate manager and told him why I was leaving. I told him about the toxic culture. I told him about being made to feel stupid because I had tried to build process improvements which amounted to moving someone's cheese a few millimeters. He understood, and was grateful. I told the HR person about the team dynamics. I told her that this toxic attitude towards change would continue to drive talented people like me out of the organization. She profusely thanked me and said that it had been the best exit interview she had ever had.

Fast forward 6 months on my new job, and I'm unhappy here for entirely different reasons. Time to start looking again!

I absolutely do think you should talk to your manager. If you don't, you are missing an opportunity to practice the skill of having difficult conversations, and you're short changing whomever comes into your job after you, who'll have to have that conversation, too. Plus, your manager might surprise you. She/he might have a way to make you happy! Do start looking for a new job today. And for the love of all that's holy, make your next interview all about figuring out what the people will be like to work with. Don't come to the interview from a place of "I have to get this job." Come at it like a date. You're trying to arrive at a mutually beneficial fit. Don't try to impress them; just be yourself and see if there's a spark!

You don't owe them anything in the United States unless you're under contract. What you kind of do owe them as a good person is to talk to your manager before deciding to quit.