Ask HN: Spending my free time in video games. It's eating me. Suggestions?

But if you're always doing things that involve a lot of thinking (work, study) it may be good to balance that with exercise or creating things with your hands.

If your work is not very exciting and it's unlikely to change then you may need to consider changing jobs.

Finish your thesis and then revisit this issue. There is nothing wrong with you. This is totally normal for someone working on something like this.

I knew I had to stop because it wasn't giving me time to achieve my goals. Specifically, to become a proficient programmer. I think this contributed greatly because the sensation of achieving little wins while playing games was immediately replaced by the same feeling when fixing bugs or having code behave just like you want it to. See: 'The Power of Habit'.

The trick is trying to find things that you can only use productively.

Terrible WiFi can also work if you can set it up. Something with 300ms lag is enough to stop me playing games. If you live with other people making sure your workstation is in the living room and not your bedroom also helps.

If you are intent on removing video games from your life, please replace it with something that allows you to free your mind. Join or start a meetup for something fun and attend it during your usual video game time. Go to your local pool and take a swim. Do anything that will take your mind off of your crappy commute, job, and MSc.

And go talk to someone if you feel you might be depressed. Good luck!

Would you be able to keep to a timetable of allowable game time? 30 minutes and no more? Because if so you cold use it as a reward for starting some thing else. "I'll do an hour of learning this other thing, then 30 minutes of games".

My solution was pretty extreme - I sold my gaming PC. Here's my steam profile now: https://i.imgur.com/4sSc0O7.png

That said, I didn't stop gaming all together, a time later I bought a PS4 and some single player games. This holds my attention for an hour or so when I'm completely wiped from work towards the later part of the week.

I now use my time after to work for yoga (2x a week), meetups (~3 a month), doing some freelance WordPress work, and programming my hobby projects.

I also took up cycling to improve my fitness and now I am in bed by 9.30-10pm and get up at about 4:45 / 5AM to ride. On rest days, I still get up early and have a coffee, read the "news", and work on hobby projects before work.

I don't have specific advice to you, and the above is all my own experiences, but what I will say is that my mood, and outlook on life has improved. To that end, I will say there is hope and you are the only one who can impart positive change on your life. Just be willing to try and keep trying and I'm sure you will.

Happy to chat via email if you want someone impartial to talk to. pgord1 at gmail dot com

The strongest reasons seem to be external, like the embarrassment of being known as someone who plays lots of video games. That's a valid reason, but I mention it because maybe it's not in itself enough of a motivation for you to actually change.

So my humble guess is that you should take a while and think about your motivations and what it is that you'd really like to do instead, and how to get started with that.

I think momentum is a big thing in life, and it's always easier to go along the same old path, especially if you're tired and don't have lots of time for reflection.

I have some of these boring time sink behaviors too. Let's just come up with something to aim for...

Okay, here's my thing for this week. I like to bake simple bread, and I like to make websites, so I've been thinking about making a website about simple bread baking—a nice little guide, like a recipe but with inline big videos that I'd shoot with my DSLR, and very clear and nice instructions. So I'd like to get started on that, at least shoot most of the videos.

Which reminds me, bread baking is a nice thing to do! While it's rising and baking you have time to do other stuff, even play some game, but you're not just wasting time, you're baking! And then there's the smell of fresh bread and everyone's happy.

Start numbering and comparing everything you do (work and play).

You will start comparing playing video games to working out, and see that over your entire lifetime, the latter makes you happier.

Another timeless advice is sleep well, exercise, and read. But you probably know that.

Also, I am guessing that that need to feel productive may come from an expectation to achieve and possibly appear successful. If it is, it would be beneficial to really deeply question the motivation behind it. A lot of people at that age (including me, when I was) believe that you have to 'be' somebody. That is an external expectation that you would need to see through and let go of.

It doesn't sound like you are though, you have a decent job, you spend time studying and you have a relationship. Stop beating yourself up.

I spend a lot oftime playing games too, They're fun and it's how I relax. I still make time to learn new things at home though. I would feel guilty if I didn't.

I would recommend not playing MMOs or MOBAs though, they seem to be the games that people play compulsively.

You are the 22 years old guy who works full time and works on his thesis. The students I know are all lazy bastards compared to you...

Instead I started playing short, single-player games with strong narratives and interesting gameplay that I could learn from on a mental or spiritual level. Now I treat playing games like I would treat reading books: they have to be a good fit for what I'm looking for and I need to come out of the experience having learned something useful or interesting; there needs to be more than just entertainment value. IMHO this way of thinking about games is a lot more effective than just uninstalling Steam and hoping you never fall for gaben's siren song again.

Even if you still feel that playing games is shameful (and it's no more shameful than any other type of entertainment), you'll be a lot better off.

Approaching it from the other side, perhaps your choice of games could be improved. You don't really say what games you play, but you can always find a less mindless thing to play. I recommend Factorio, it's amazing (http://www.factorio.com/).

Work is all the things you need to do to live your life. This includes your job, errands, housework, etc. Things that you can't give up because they're a necessary part of your life.

Rest is all the things you need to do to be able to do your work. Sleep, food, exercise, and yes, TV & video games for relaxing can fit in here too.

Leisure is everything else - what you do with the time you've got left after working and resting.

The real question for you is: are you playing video games to rest, or for leisure? If they're restful for you, then I don't see the problem. You've got a busy job, a thesis, and n SO that you're all keeping up with. Everyone needs some downtime, so if you're feeling rested and relaxed afterwards, then great. Keep them as a part of your downtime routine. The one thing you may want to think about here is if video games are the best way to rest for <i>you</i>. If you're playing shooters and getting frustrated and angry, that's probably not as effective at relaxing as, say, building a castle with redstone circuitry in Minecraft. Or even cooking a tasty meal or going for a walk.

If you're filling your leisure time with them, then I'd think about it a little harder. Is there anything else you'd prefer to be doing with that leisure time? Leisure time is what you get to use to change yourself - to learn things, to exercise, to make yourself into who you want. So spend it wisely.

And seriously, cut out the commute. I suspect part of the problem may be that you really need all that rest time with video games but resent that you need it. Work from home, change your work hours so you're not commuting during rush hour, find a different job, whatever.

Also, count the video games as stress relief. We all need that.