Ask HN: What keeps you from exercising?
We all know that exercise is good for us, yet many of us fail to either start or continue. Why?
Like many of you, I sit in front of a computer far too much during my days. I blame my inactivity on everything: not enough time, family obligations, an I'll do it tomorrow attitude, it won't work for me because of my genetics, I don't know what I should do so better not do anything and get injured etc.
Do you do the same? What keeps you from exercising or what made you start exercising in the first place? How do you keep it up?
241 comments
[ 2.4 ms ] story [ 234 ms ] threadBasically... like most anything that takes effort you either have to make "the switch" and make it be a defining characteristic of who you are, or it will never matter more than a passing fad. In order to make "the switch" happen, find things other than pure exercise to reinforce the cycle. Find a team game to play like ... volleyball or something and don't be apologetic about sucking at it. Just keep showing up. Once your social circle includes healthy active people you'll go do healthy outdoorsy things to stay with them.
Would those people not resent you for showing up and making them lose?
Finding more obscure sports can help, too. For example there was recently a guy on the news desperate for people willing to play bicycle polo. "If you can ride a bike, come play with us we'll show you how to play!".
Even if you join an amateur competitive league you'll still be fine because you'll sit on the bench during "real" games but you'll play during practice until you're needed or better than the alternative.
What there is, what people actually mean when they say "not enough time", is "things I'd rather be doing".
Consciously or unconsciously, you prioritise your list, perhaps by Maslow's hierarchy of needs or in other ways, then whatever consistently drops off the bottom at the end of the day ends up mentally filed in the "not enough time" bucket.
In my case, I find exercise for the sake of exercise mind-numbingly tedious, so my "things I'd rather be doing" includes "playing cookie clicker again", "afternoon nap", "staring into space dumbly" etc.
After filling my day with all those things, oddly enough I never seem to have time to go out for a jog.
Looking at what made it into the bucket and what didn't is a fine source of guilt.
(I keep thinking it's time for Propcycle to make a comeback now we have VR helmets...)
Technically correct.
> What there is, what people actually mean when they say "not enough time", is "things I'd rather be doing".
True; I'd rather be taking my child to daycare, and picking her up, and spending time with her. I'd rather be commuting 45 minutes to a job I enjoy rather than moving next-door to it and suffering a 200%+ rent increase, or working next door to where I live as a much lower-income grocery store clerk.
Other people might rather spend time managing a chronic medical condition. Or taking care of a family member. Or doing any number of things that is out of their control.
We all get 24 hours in a day, but we don't all get an equal allotment of choice in how we spend it.
Additionally I think classifying it as "I'd rather be doing" is somewhat unhelpful because there are many things people "want to be doing" in the long term that they find difficult to "actually do" in the immediate term in large part due to outside stimulus (and the availability thereof). The ability of people to focus and stick with tasks, whatever they might be, is anything but equal.
People simply chose to do something else instead.
Around that time I also read Murakami's "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running". It was inspiring, and I started doing 5K runs each morning.
Next few years a big motivator to work out was seeing my results improve in amateur bike races. In the biggest local cross country amateur racing series, I went from finishing in top 500, to top 100, then 30, then top 10.
Second, I don't usually find the gains to be motivating. I have trouble sticking with it after a month or two.
Third, I'm not really willing to spend money on equipment or go out of my way to a gym. I'd rather not be seen.
The truth is, other people at the gym are busy concentrating on their own workout. They don't really have any reason to be judging you. Some people are particularly helpful and will offer advice, but most won't take a second look at what you're doing.
It doesn't have to be this way. The best way to stick with an exercise is to find one that you enjoy. For some people that's lifting weights, or running distances. Others like biking or yoga. I play ultimate frisbee, which I find to be a lot of fun and a great exercise. I'll be the first to admit that I should do more, but chasing a piece of plastic through the air for two hours a week is a whole lot better than sitting down at home. Try seeing what sports leagues are in your area, maybe you'll find something you like.
> It doesn't have to be this way. The best way to stick with an exercise is to find one that you enjoy.
The mistake you're making is assuming that everyone enjoys at least one form of exercise, much less would prefer to do it other than something else.
My short-term analysis is, 'why would I want to be sweaty, sore and out-of-breath when I can be perfectly happy at home, doing what I want?'
My long-term analysis, of course, is that I should exercise in spite of hating every single minute I spend on it.
What i did for myself was searching for a gym where i waste the least time, found one that has a 45 minute programm and went for it. Not that this works well motivation wise, but it was the first time it did not sound like wasting to much valueable energy and time.
It's hard to overcome #2 because it takes about 2-3 months of regular, vigorous exercise to see results, if you're just out-of-shape. If you're very overweight, it'll take even longer to see much difference.
#3 really isn't much of a barrier, since you don't actually require any equipment to get in quite good shape. You certainly don't have to join a gym.
The way to overcome #1 and #2 is to develop a habit of exercising. You do lots of things in your life that are unpleasant in the short term but give you long term gains. You don't do them because of the gains, but simply because after awhile they become habit. Commuting to work, for instance. You don't consciously think about driving in to work so you can get paid in two weeks; you do it out of habit.
You can build an exercise habit slowly, by creating a set of rituals around it (e.g., putting on your workout clothes first thing in the morning, doing a short warmup, finishing with a short cooldown) and starting off slow to minimize #1. This will also minimize gains initially, but that doesn't matter much---you'll get enough gratification just by building up a string of successful completions. Keep your early sessions to 5-15 minutes. Once you've been able to do that daily for a couple of months, extend a couple of your workouts to 20 or 30 minutes. There are a ton of great, free workouts on YouTube (Yoga with Adrienne, Fitness Blender, Millionaire Hoy, and on and on) of various durations. Once you get to a point where you're working out at least 15 minutes every day, with a few 30-minute workouts a week, you will start to see results. By three months in, you should have a fairly strong habit going, and by six months it will seem like second nature.
I used a car in the states, so I get the length of time with the gains - but in a sense, it was a habit tied to other habits that are temporarily out of commission. And I didn't really realize that until your comment. I'll have to find something else to tie it to.
This may or may not be useful for you, but one thing I've had very good luck with is a stationary bike (at the gym, but it's easy to get one at home) and reading. The bike is stable enough that reading isn't a problem, especially if done on a iPad/Kindle.
I get through ~5 books a month just on the bike, and I find it easier to get motivated because I have two good reasons to do it. I'm able to go fairly hard and burn ~900 kcal in an hour's session.
It should ideally be supplemented with other types of strength-building activity, but it's possible to assemble something fairly minimal there that'll reap major benefits.
But even solving that point, I still struggle with the motivation & enjoyment. The 24hr gym has got me working out more, but still not regularly.
I exercise instead when it becomes a pleasant way to accomplish something I have to do anyway. For me the trick is to find good ways to incorporate exercise into activities I'd be doing anyway.
When the weather is nice, I walk to work because there's a lovely tree-lined route and it's much more enjoyable than standing on a loud and crowded subway. If the elevator line is 15 min long, I'll walk a few flights of stairs. And of course, the subway itself plus living in a walkup means a handful of flights daily. And maybe I'll get off a stop early and walk half a mile home, stopping for groceries along the way.
That changed 1 year ago, when I stopped aimlessly 'exercising' and started goal-oriented 'training'.
I discovered powerlifting. Its principles and techniques really resonated with me. I was no longer exercising to be 'fit' but 'training' to beat my numbers (I don't do competitions) and see how good I can possibly be.
I've never been more consistently active over time, never been stronger, and never felt better. Now, I can't imagine living without lifting.
Powerlifting is what I chose, but you choose what you want. Learn the technique, set a schedule, set goals, and beat them...over and over and over and over again.
Then you won't think about activity as 'just exercise', but as something much more significant.
And yep, beating your numbers is great motivation, and one that really appealed to my gamer self :)
I'd had a couple of people tell me that my squat form was poor and that I was going to injure myself, but I found it impossible to figure out what was going wrong as I had no feedback loop. Once I could see myself on video, I could try different techniques and see how they affected my form. Starting Strength has a lot of writing on how to recognise and train good form, so once you can see yourself it's not too hard to correct.
Some good sources: http://scoobysworkshop.com/ http://www.bodybuildingrevealed.com/
disclaimer - I've used SS with great results, however this is not a program for everyone, keeping in mind we are on a science/tech forum
Do you have any sources for this?
[1] http://www.exrx.net/WeightTraining/Safety.html
[2] https://youtu.be/pZgxkE-2QAw
When I was 16 years old, I somehow twisted my spine in my lower back in a way that it wasn't meant to be twisted doing 250 lbs max rep seated leg press, and ever since then, my lower back has been alternating between bouts of sharp pain and dull pain (but never subsiding) ever side for 10+ years now.
Backpain (and the resultant osteoarthritis) is still a modern medical mystery too so the usual suggestions of exercise and stretching from my doctors are something I have been doing all along but have not actually worked.
What messed me up wasn't the fact that I was weight lifting (I still have remnants of my high school athletic physique now even as an engineer who sits and codes for 10+ hours a day), but rather, overtraining and incompetent coaching.
I've always heard the opposite. Do you have a source for this?
Main point is you can NOT gain muscular mass at that age unless you take supplements or start eating protein foods like crazy! Both will mess up with your metabolism, do you agree? I m not saying going to the gym for exercising is bad per se, just early mass gain.
I started because I was tired of feeling crappy and wanted to lose some weight. I've dropped a lot of fat, put on a lot of muscle, sleep better than ever, and don't have all the sedentary "I feel bad" stuff anymore. A+ would recommend to anyone.
I've been doing pushups/plank/jumping lunge squats/plank/pushups for a while now, which is nice, but I'm certainly not getting anything near the amount of exercise I'd like to.
So my reasons for not exercising now are two:
1. I don't want to take the time to lift. By the time I stopped lifting, I was taking at least 90 minutes in the gym; probably two hours including changing and showering.
2. I don't have a partner. This helps both for motivation (Steve is waiting for me; I should get going) and for safety/form checks (keep your knees out at the bottom of the squat).
That's one of the big logistical reasons I prefer powerlifting over bodybuilding...it's simple & quick because of its high intensity. If you're doing it right, it shouldn't take you very long...unless you're waiting on equipment or something.
When you're starting out and learning the form, sure, a partner to check your form is invaluable. But after that, I never felt the need...my body knew when something wasn't quite right.
> When you're starting out and learning the form, sure, a partner to check your form is invaluable. But after that, I never felt the need...my body knew when something wasn't quite right.
I've heard a lot of stories about people who thought they knew they were doing the right thing, but badly injured themselves. I mean, I hope you're right, but I doubt I am. Also there's spotting for bench press (people die from benching without spotters or doing so in a cage), and if, for example, you go down for a squat and realize you've got too much weight, helping the weight go down less uncontrollably. Perhaps I could be more comfortable with benching alone if I did so in a cage, but I've never seen anyone else do that. Perhaps I could be more comfortable squatting alone if I got comfortable dropping the weight off my back. But right now I'm not -- so having a partner is helpful.
And finally, I'm also including changing before/after and showering in the two-hour time, since that's something I have to account for in my schedule. Being able to leave the gym 60 minutes after I got there would be pretty nice, actually. Even a little bit more -- 75 minutes -- would be great.
Perhaps I could try it again, having one personal training session a month to ensure my form's ok.
[1] This is from what I recall. Squats were the most -- a set with only the bar, three or four warmup sets, then three working sets. Deadlifts had only one working set, and everything but squats had only three warmup sets. I could be wrong, but not by much.
[2] http://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/workout-routines/4-...
Both SS and 5x5 are just insane (in the bad way). They make you squat almost for every workout and I think that is terrible as it a) doesn't let enough time for the body to recover, b) for folks that body form is not ideal for squatting, c) overpowers your lower body, and you end up with a T-Rex type of body form.
I was very lucky to have few friends to introduce me to proper lifting 15 years ago in college. Usual bro-split, 3 times a week is much better and balanced in the long run.
Even at an advanced beginner/intermediate stage it's still better to work each 'muscle-group' twice a week.
60 minute workout, 30 minute to travel to the gym, change, shower after, change back into normal clothes.
> (b) shouldn't require a partner to check your form
You do to learn
A) Goblet Squats 3x8-10, Dumbbell Bench Press 3x8-10, Dumbbell Rows 3x8-10 each arm, Situps, 3 sets
B) Dumbbell Reverse Lunge 3x8-10, Dumbbell Press 3x8-10, Dumbbell Bicep Curls 3x8-10, Hanging Leg Raise, 3 Sets.
At 50 lbs, the Goblet Squat won't do much, so I would substitute something like a Bulgarian Split Squat. You'll be upgrading your powerblocks in no time...
"Most"
With 50lbs dumbbells?
After 1 year of starting strength 50lbs dumbells won't be enough.
After never working out before and eating at a calorie deficit I was able to lift these weights after a year of SS.
165 Bench 300 Deadlift 105 OHP 200 Squat 150 Rows
"Most" isn't accurate. 80/20 isn't accurate because you are simply not getting the results SS would give you.
Starting Strength is excellent, but if you'd rather wet your feet first with some video, check out the series he did with Brett McKay of Art of Manliness:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLIasrSrFGdSNbeOT8Agw...
If you're a beginner the difference really isn't going to matter.
It's good because, as opposed to Starting Strength, the material is all free online, it's all one web page with instructional videos, and the guy has mobile apps you can use for free.
I also really recommend Alan Thrall's form videos on Youtube. Incredibly instructive and thorough.
Unfortunately, sexy as it sounds, liberally calling strength training "powerlifting" drives too many newcomers into an ego-lifting mindset, attempting maximal singles for no good reason, or soon hopping on some extreme Russian peaking program they found after Starting Strength.
Learning the powerlifts and training for strength is great for anyone, but unless they actually plan to step on a platform and risk their skeletal integrity for white lights in the near future, I strongly recommend that people keep strictly to weights they can safely lift for 5+ reps per set, and only track the calculated (rather than tested) 1RM.
I do weight training also, and unfortunately I do it only for the result and don't enjoy the process, as you can guess, that hasn't gone too well.
I move around a lot and I can't count on having a swimming pool anywhere near me, and I don't really want to spend time commuting to my exercise location.
Biking strenuously while staying safe and not stressed seems to require getting out of the city. I do enjoy stationary bikes, but I generally loathe gyms (too many TVs, bad music, expensive, etc) and again, I move too much to have my own gear.
I don't like running because it's painful and boring. I don't like yoga because it seems to require subtle understanding to avoid doing things wrong, and all the videos I've seen go too fast, or are annoying in some other way.
I suspect I would enjoy lifting, but again I need a gym, and where I'm now I don't have any friends who can teach me.
Getting exhausted by doing physical labor that actually has a point is my favorite kind of exercise, but that doesn't come around often for me.
Gyms are boring. Cardio in gyms is incredibly boring.
Trying to beat my highscore on Holopoint whilst hologram samurai rush at me and I'm dodging missiles flying from all directions is not boring.
( And now I'm developing room-scale VR games, that goes double.
I'm currently covered in sweat in the middle of a work day after spending an hour balancing a miniboss in Left-Hand Path (http://store.steampowered.com/app/488760). )
There's a big benefit gap between working up a little sweat playing a video game in your living room versus doing actual weight training at a real gym. They are no substitutes.
Working up a sweat playing a game is more than most people do and will already bring benefits. It's a whole lot better than nothing. It may become a catalyst for better things.
And, yes, weight training is not going to be replaced by cardio, because it's weight training... it's not like every person who exercises does weight training, there are quite a few pure runners on here.
On the "better things" point: I also weight-train, I've studied Muay Thai, boxing, and a number of other martial arts, and I was an athlete in high school.
Judged by those metrics, some Vive games are still pretty decent exercise. They're not "equivalent to heavy sparring" intense, but they're a solid cardio workout.
Vive room-scale exercise can be rather more intense than you might think - see https://www.reddit.com/r/Vive/comments/4wtp3p/vr_fitness_50_... - or possibly I'm just bad at the games and substituting energy for technique :) .
What are you basing that on in terms of intended outcome?
We finally got a trainer for a road bike we can use during the winter, but it's not the same as running outside so I usually get burned out on it.
I don't know what "makes" me do it. I tell myself I'm going to do something and then I have to do it. It's easy to say I'm going to do something but once it's said I must follow through. I call it writing a check with my mouth that my body has to cash.
1. Kids (2 under 2). If I'm not at work, I'm playing with or taking care of them, cooking, etc. there isn't much "me time" as all of it is spent at work.
2. This may sound weird, but I haven't found a comfortable way to keep my private area in place. Most loose shorts / boxers don't work because things move around in some rather uncomfortable ways. I haven't tried any kind of briefs yet, as I find them very constructive and also uncomfortable. Suggestions welcome.
3. Finding a good exercise program that I can do at home. So far, I've had best luck with the 21 Day Fix, but this is focused on weight loss, which isn't really what I'm interested in; I don't have enough availability that I can go to a gym, and equipment isn't cheap. I have no family living nearby, so it's really tough to find someone I trust to watch my kids while I go work out, not to mention it's remarkably expensive. (My kids go to a school 2 days / week and it already costs more than rent in a 3k sq ft home.) So, let's just call this one time AND money..
#2. Boxer-briefs: They're the best of both worlds. Once I switched, I never looked back. There are many comfortable varieties, the best are the Under Armor kind that breathe really well and don't get swampy.
#3. I have a few simple items at home that make good workouts possible:
- A sandbag, wrapped in duct-tape that weights about 52 pounds. I use this for squats and overhead lifts.
- A pull-up bar that goes in the doorway.
- A kettlebell (mine is 35lbs, a pretty good starting weight).
- A jump rope. This is one of the athletic ones, not a toy. You can find them on Amazon.
This equipment all fits in one corner of the closet and I can do a whole lot with it. Variations of bodyweight exercises can give you varying degrees of resistance as well, eg pistol squats, diamond pushups, etc.
I hope this helps, good luck! Staying fit as a developer with kids is definitely a challenge.
[Edit]. I just read another comment below that is all of what I said and more. Do I delete this?
I've found that a double jogging stroller is a great investment (look for them used), go for a walk, then the kid is tired they get in and then the walk can speed up. Sometimes the kids are asleep when I get back.
On Wednesday, wife was home sick from work. I took care of the kids and couldn't get to the gym.
I try to go M/W/F, so far I've only had one week in a month where that's happened.
Family keeps me from the gym. It's ok, I love them.
It's easy to say, "Oh, I work 10 hours a day then I have to go home to my family", yet I still find time to play stupid phone games, browse HN, and watch the Olympics.
Sometimes I get on a kick: I biked to work (~8 mi.) a couple days a week in the spring. I've started Couch-to-5k a couple times. I did muai thai for about 6 months. But it peters out. Apparently the gym downstairs at work has a personal trainer, and I've been talking about setting that up for months. I feel anger (and let's be honest: guilt) any time anyone tries to "motivate" me by encouraging me to go to the gym or exercise.
Recently, I've had luck with biking on local errands. It's easy enough to throw on a backpack and pick up groceries 0.5 mi away rather than drive. And walking the dog forces me to at least go outside.
So clearly I haven't cracked the problem. But know you're not alone. And the best suggestion I have is to do something, anything... then try to do it again the next day.
Also, the joint pain doesn't help, but it comes and goes. The regular issue is that I'd have to sacrifice time on work--work that I love and find incredibly fulfilling--to exercise, as there is no other place in which time could be subtracted.
Getting to that point is probably the secret. Get some small wins, see some results in the mirror, get a compliment or two, and then it will be a self fulfilling prophecy.
/r/fitness is probably a good place to hangout if you're trying to get motivated. Lots of success stories, before/after pictures, and learning. Really helpful folks over there.
But in order to get to that point you'll need self discipline and patience, it'll probably take a few months to get into the groove. No way to do it but just to decide it's time and start.
I strongly sympathize, I was allergic to organized exercise until my late 30's. But at the end of the day there's no secret, except that it does get way way easier once it's in a routine.
When you come home after an hour in the gym, you're exhausted. You wake up the next morning and you can't see a difference. After a month of doing this, you get depressed and give up. It takes the maturity to realize you have to make a habit out of it long enough to the point that you are good, practicing regularly, to reach the point where going to the gym is something you look forward to. Going to the gym X times a week is practice. Practice enough and eventually you will be good with the physical difference to motivate you.
Basic powerlifting with progressive overload completely changed my perspective on the gym. After 3 months of that I started to mix up my routine and add more accessory lifts.
I'm now 8 months into powerlifting and I go 5 days a week.
Gym isn't something I do because I sit at a desk all day. Gym is now something I look forward to, because every workout is a new challenge.
We get up at 4:30 and are there by 5:20. One hour. If she wasn't pushing me I'd probably not go as much.
I find it boring so I listen to podcasts and when on the bike, watch youtube videos.
As Harvard professor of Public Health Frank Hu said: "The single thing that comes close to a magic bullet, in terms of its strong and universal benefits, is exercise." In my view, there is such value in being physically fit that it is absolutely worth trying every possible thing until you get to something you genuinely like.
The key, for me, has been to tap into both my inner geek and my competitive nature. There was no way I could do this half way. As inanuthshellus put it, I had to make it part of my identity. I committed not just to running, but to being a runner. Starting out, I did a ton of research on techniques and equipment. I run more often than just about anyone I know. I obsess over form and metrics. I work hard to stay on leaderboards for various "segments" or "courses" that I run around town, each and every month (including winter). I'm loud about my running, to reaffirm my identify as a runner. At this point, quitting or slacking off would mean becoming less of something I have striven hard to become, so I keep going even on days when every other factor would point toward not bothering.
This might not be the healthiest attitude in the long term, as my performance will inevitably start to decline some day and that will be hard, but so far it has worked for me. Fortunately, at least in running, there's still plenty of opportunity to compete within one's age group instead of being thrown in with all those twenty-somethings, so even if I do decline I can still hope to decline less than my rivals and my ego can remain intact.
Normally I work 8-5ish then come then have other things I need to get done after.
Whenever I don't go it's due to a lack of free time and energy. This is because I commute two hours a day to and from work, and I have a very active social life. I hit the gym on an average of 3 times a week, though my goal is 5 times a week. I wish my office had a gym.
Your life improves drastically if you exercise. If you really realize how much it benefits you, you will find yourself impatiently waiting until the next time you go to the gym. Not because you want to go to the gym, but because you want the reward that comes out of it.
I prepaid for the sessions, so he's coming whether I want to or not.
more expensive than a gym, sure... but i actually do the exercise this way.