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Most guys know the timing of their girlfriend’s period so that they can be on hand with chocolates, hugs, and hygiene products.

Uh, OK, if you say so.

Wouldn't you notice the blood...?
Maybe it's a celibate relationship? Or long-distance?

Baffling.

"Since we sent roughly 80,000 messages to each other in an 8 month time span"

Over 330 messages per day? Is this not absurd to anyone else? Am I not sending enough facebook messages to my loved ones?

That is astounding to me too. I text my partner a lot during the day, but it's more like 20-50 messages per day.
Even if it's just single replies, like a smiley or an lol, it still seems like a lot.
The reason this fails is that positive/neutral/negative is a really really poor way to represent complex bodily processes. It really should stand as a totem of data analysis over-engineering. My suggestion would be to grep 'period' next time.