I had a hard time noticing the fainter scroll down arrow at first and was mildly upset about being denied access to click on things. It feels like a popover ad that won't click away. That was enough for me to leave, even as a reviewer.
I saw a huge "scroll down to learn more" arrow and thought "why don't you just put what I'm supposed to learn right here?". Why do I have to scroll for it? And what's this stuff underneath?
Reluctantly, I scrolled. Write a response? No... Curtis? Who is Curtis? Some acme inc files? No, that's not it either... Braintrust Features? Oh, finally, I'm here. So I see a list of features, and I see some benefits....but what is Braintrust? So I scroll all the way back up and look to my right, I see....Social Collaboration for your company. So now that I finally have some context, let me re-read everything....
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I think the whole "fake mockup of a real interface" concept is flawed. Nothing I see on first glance (a) works or (b) means anything to me. I totally missed the big yellow box the first time through, so I had zero context.
This is unrelated, but your logo looks like Ubuntu+Joomla to me.
Finally, I'd rethink the "pimping" analogy on your philosophy page.
Taweed, your service looks fantastic, it must have taken a lot of development and refinement. It certainly looks polished from the youtube video.
I don't know your numbers but based on the fact that you are continually overhauling your pitch I am going to assume that you are struggling to gain traction, so with that in mind I'll do my best to give my opinion on why that is. Again no offense intended, service looks great!
I think you are struggling to develop a direct, refined super simple, super clear focused message to a specific niche customer.
For some reason I have you on my google buzz thing (we exchanged some emails a while ago) so I feel like I'm pretty up to date with your iterations. Your message has never been ridiculously simple and focused. You should pick a specific niche and go after it like a starving dog. Is it for micro startups? for freelancers? for families? for college group projects? for enterprise? for red-haired left-handed moms born in Idaho? Get specific, answer EVERY SINGLE ONE of that niche's questions and concerns, and then hit it out of the park.
I watched all 7 mins of your video, I've read all your copy (I agree that the grayed mockup is very non-user-friendly and thus a turn off) and I can't get excited about it because it's too vague of a proposition. I get that its private and its a communication platform, but customers less savvy than myself understand that there is an ocean's worth of online collaboration products. It's not a question of how great your product is (it does look pretty nice) its more a question of whether your target audience understands the benefits of your specific product and how you solve their specific problems. This is why it hurts to be vague, you end up trying to be all things to all people (whether you intend that or not) and you get brownie points with zero of them (because you don't specifically address any niche pain points other than privacy).
Get tiny - get narrow - get focused.
Seems like your competition is 37signals. They started by focusing on freelance web designers (because that's what they were). They focus on the tech-savy freelancer who needed to collaborate with his client - nothing more.
Oh yeah lastly, the whole philosophy page is extremely self-serving. No one cares about your company, they care about what your company can do for them. It's fine to talk about yourself just so long as it's in the context of how your helping ME. I think you meant well with what you wrote, but for us HN'ers it's blatantly obvious that you are talking about internet startup related things - your customers dont care! No one cares about your business model, they don't care about the legitimacy of freemium, they've never heard of 37signals, they-don't-care!
It's 4:30 am, I'm going crazy, best of luck to you my friend!
Hi Tawheed - looks like you've got a slick product there! Problem is a visitor to your site has to be really motivated to trawl through all the stuff to work out what it is. A few points (most echo apsurd's comments):
* The large/desaturated product-shots are too confusing - a significant proportion of your visitors will be confused by these - I was. I thought they were the sales site.
* I was desperate to be told what it is. Front-and-centre, first thing I read. I get the yellow box is trying to do that, but, I read it as: 'Buzzword Buzzword for your company. The fastest & simplest way to buzzwords.' I got nothing from it.
* Scrolling down (a long way) - the first information dense part of the page appears, listing features, in a seemingly random order.. Ok, my data will be private, but, WHAT IS THE PRODUCT?
* Benefits before features - people want to know how it will help them, not what bells-and-whistles it's got.
* The demo video is good, but long. People will need to be pre-sold enough on the product already to sit through it all.
The page/site isn't customer focussed enough. It's 'conversation' needs to go like this:
* Our product is THIS.
* Do you have problem X? (and Y, and Z?)
* Yes?
* Well, our product solves everything.
* Here's how it does it, and here's how your future will look and feel when you use it.
* Sounds great huh?
* Give it a try by doing this - no risk, you can do it for free!
'THIS' in the list above should be phrased using the words that your customers use. Not clever, not fancy - the exact words they use. The only way you can find this out is by getting out of the building and going talk with them (Customer Development style).
If you don't know how to explain the problems it solves, again, go and ask your prospective market what problems they have, and make note of the words they use to describe them (this is where I think apsurd's suggestion to narrow your niche makes sense).
Currently your site's conversation is more like:
* Buzzwords
* Confusion
* Our product's nice and got stuff in it
* Give it a go
Perhaps the following might be a bit too 'salesy' for your liking, but you should be able to pick up some good tips: SEOMoz landing page overhaul case study http://www.conversion-rate-experts.com/seomoz-case-study/ - I can also recommend
signing up to get the annotated PDF, it's full of interesting points.
Best of luck with it! Your product looks very good - niche it down/focus on a narrower market, then get out there and talk to your prospective customers to find out how they want to be sold to!
@apsurd @cheesemuffler thanks so much for your honest feedback. i'm going to give it another iteration tonight (and then schedule some more customer development calls)!!!
8 comments
[ 3.0 ms ] story [ 32.0 ms ] thread(the overlay is not my cup of tea)
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I saw a huge "scroll down to learn more" arrow and thought "why don't you just put what I'm supposed to learn right here?". Why do I have to scroll for it? And what's this stuff underneath?
Reluctantly, I scrolled. Write a response? No... Curtis? Who is Curtis? Some acme inc files? No, that's not it either... Braintrust Features? Oh, finally, I'm here. So I see a list of features, and I see some benefits....but what is Braintrust? So I scroll all the way back up and look to my right, I see....Social Collaboration for your company. So now that I finally have some context, let me re-read everything....
---
I think the whole "fake mockup of a real interface" concept is flawed. Nothing I see on first glance (a) works or (b) means anything to me. I totally missed the big yellow box the first time through, so I had zero context.
This is unrelated, but your logo looks like Ubuntu+Joomla to me.
Finally, I'd rethink the "pimping" analogy on your philosophy page.
I don't know your numbers but based on the fact that you are continually overhauling your pitch I am going to assume that you are struggling to gain traction, so with that in mind I'll do my best to give my opinion on why that is. Again no offense intended, service looks great!
I think you are struggling to develop a direct, refined super simple, super clear focused message to a specific niche customer.
For some reason I have you on my google buzz thing (we exchanged some emails a while ago) so I feel like I'm pretty up to date with your iterations. Your message has never been ridiculously simple and focused. You should pick a specific niche and go after it like a starving dog. Is it for micro startups? for freelancers? for families? for college group projects? for enterprise? for red-haired left-handed moms born in Idaho? Get specific, answer EVERY SINGLE ONE of that niche's questions and concerns, and then hit it out of the park.
I watched all 7 mins of your video, I've read all your copy (I agree that the grayed mockup is very non-user-friendly and thus a turn off) and I can't get excited about it because it's too vague of a proposition. I get that its private and its a communication platform, but customers less savvy than myself understand that there is an ocean's worth of online collaboration products. It's not a question of how great your product is (it does look pretty nice) its more a question of whether your target audience understands the benefits of your specific product and how you solve their specific problems. This is why it hurts to be vague, you end up trying to be all things to all people (whether you intend that or not) and you get brownie points with zero of them (because you don't specifically address any niche pain points other than privacy).
Get tiny - get narrow - get focused.
Seems like your competition is 37signals. They started by focusing on freelance web designers (because that's what they were). They focus on the tech-savy freelancer who needed to collaborate with his client - nothing more.
Oh yeah lastly, the whole philosophy page is extremely self-serving. No one cares about your company, they care about what your company can do for them. It's fine to talk about yourself just so long as it's in the context of how your helping ME. I think you meant well with what you wrote, but for us HN'ers it's blatantly obvious that you are talking about internet startup related things - your customers dont care! No one cares about your business model, they don't care about the legitimacy of freemium, they've never heard of 37signals, they-don't-care!
It's 4:30 am, I'm going crazy, best of luck to you my friend!
HTH!
* The large/desaturated product-shots are too confusing - a significant proportion of your visitors will be confused by these - I was. I thought they were the sales site.
* I was desperate to be told what it is. Front-and-centre, first thing I read. I get the yellow box is trying to do that, but, I read it as: 'Buzzword Buzzword for your company. The fastest & simplest way to buzzwords.' I got nothing from it.
* Scrolling down (a long way) - the first information dense part of the page appears, listing features, in a seemingly random order.. Ok, my data will be private, but, WHAT IS THE PRODUCT?
* Benefits before features - people want to know how it will help them, not what bells-and-whistles it's got.
* The demo video is good, but long. People will need to be pre-sold enough on the product already to sit through it all.
The page/site isn't customer focussed enough. It's 'conversation' needs to go like this:
* Our product is THIS. * Do you have problem X? (and Y, and Z?) * Yes? * Well, our product solves everything. * Here's how it does it, and here's how your future will look and feel when you use it. * Sounds great huh? * Give it a try by doing this - no risk, you can do it for free!
'THIS' in the list above should be phrased using the words that your customers use. Not clever, not fancy - the exact words they use. The only way you can find this out is by getting out of the building and going talk with them (Customer Development style).
If you don't know how to explain the problems it solves, again, go and ask your prospective market what problems they have, and make note of the words they use to describe them (this is where I think apsurd's suggestion to narrow your niche makes sense).
Currently your site's conversation is more like:
* Buzzwords * Confusion * Our product's nice and got stuff in it * Give it a go
Perhaps the following might be a bit too 'salesy' for your liking, but you should be able to pick up some good tips: SEOMoz landing page overhaul case study http://www.conversion-rate-experts.com/seomoz-case-study/ - I can also recommend signing up to get the annotated PDF, it's full of interesting points.
Best of luck with it! Your product looks very good - niche it down/focus on a narrower market, then get out there and talk to your prospective customers to find out how they want to be sold to!