Ask HN: Is anyone else struggling mentally and emotionally with interviews?

3 points by throwaway_3452 ↗ HN
I've been interviewing for a few weeks now and getting past silly hackerrank / phonescreens no problems. After dilligently preparing myself daily, I just bombed my first on-site by approaching a problem in completely the wrong way and I feel extremely numb and disappointed - to the extent that I'm physically experiencing muscular aches from surging nervousness and stress. Like many here I am an ambitious high achiever and rarely experience rejection. The worst thing was I really liked the people and I feel almost ashamed for wasting their time. Does anyone have any tips for coping with this kind of situation?

2 comments

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Absolutely! You've got my sympathy here.

Failing an interview can be a massive kick in the egoand self-esteem. Though, I don't know about the muscle pains, and personally, my frustration is more with the hiring process that is so wildly biased towards false negatives.

I'm fortunate that I'm not looking at the moment, but the interviews I have gone on in the last couple years have been draining and sometimes result in baffling feedback, or none at all.

I feel like interviews have a bias towards people who have practice doing interviews. The section of the process where they say "code this now" is unnatural and you've got to be practiced at it.

Consider that you'll have to do 5 of those onsites before you get the swing of things (and start getting offers).

Don't feel bad, you're not wasting their time you're both trying to make a connection and the tools we have for making that connection are "blunt instruments "

Thanks, what worries me the most is I can handle this charade of memorising obscure CS theory now without responsibilities such as a family and in my peak (under 30). But what happens 15 years down the line in this situation? I would dread to think about it and I feel like giving up coding and moving into product/project management may be a wiser choice.