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Ask HN: Question for Parents of HN

15 points by goodJobWalrus ↗ HN
What qualities and knowledge should you strive to instill in your child? What areas of development should you pay attention to?

I am making a list, this is what I have so far (randomly added). Please add yours.

* physical development / health

* decision-making

* risk assessment

* problem-solving

* logical reasoning

* understanding of economics and personal finance

* self-regulation

* Critical thinking

* creativity

* Numeracy

* Computational thinking

* focus

* independence

* (self) mastery

* concentration

* responsibility

These are just random ideas, some things overlap or are not precise etc. I was just wondering what others are thinking.

20 comments

[ 2.6 ms ] story [ 55.5 ms ] thread
cyberferret
I think you have covered all bases. The only things I would add is to forge a sense of strong self-discipline, and understand what it means to be a 'person of honour'.
kawera
* Empathy

* Humbleness.

kohanz
Was about to post empathy myself. It's of very high importance on my list and it's incredible how early it can start to develop (see it in my toddler son already). Although I think in a normal loving household, empathy will probably develop naturally. I would imagine a child without empathy lived a troubled childhood.
dvdhnt
> Empathy

I came here to add this one, too.

It's usefulness and affect on social development, deep relationships, and happiness can't be understated.

danielvf
Some less popular ones that aren't on the list:

- Humility - Honesty - Life is not fair

More popular:

- How to choose friends - How to be a friend

Obscure but save a lot of pain

- Don't spend too much on a house or car. - How to recognize and run away from psychopaths.

wslh
I think some of the most important skills are team work, communication, helping others, and recognizing the resources they have beyond themselves. You list is much focused on the individual rather than the team or a society.
fillskills
I thought about this before my kid was born and made this list:

Why are we learning <this> before teaching <this>?

Grit - Passion and Perseverance

Basics of food and the food chain

Psychology

Planning forward

Taking criticism

Finance as a way to understand the workings of the world

Stand up for yourself

Biology

Staying positive, not giving up easily

Darwin Evolution

Animals

Meditation

History

nvahalik
Some of our ideas overlap but the words might be different:

* Faith and worldview * compassion * kindness * obedience * discipline * perseverance * desire for truth * problem solving / improvisation

Faith / World view is huge for us because it drives everything else really.

I've learned also that sometimes trying to foist certain nonessentials on kids can be counter productive. E.g. Bike riding. I tried to make him do it and he hated it. We just left it out and now he loves it. We do make him obviously do school and also martial arts.

stephenr
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "Faith / World view" ?
thomasrognon
I would guess that means their religion.
stephenr
I don't get how "World view" relates to religious beliefs, hence my query.
Casseres
Religion is a powerful driving force in many cultures. Comprehending that other people believe in a different religion as strongly as you believe in yours helps one's understanding of the world.
nvahalik
In all cultures. In some cases the religion is secular humanism or socialism. If you don't want to call it religion then call it a world view but it is essentially the same thing.
nvahalik
I guess notifications don't work for this... but yes. Faith / World view is not just "religion" but how that religion impacts how and why I do particular things.

Ultimately I also believe that _everyone_ has a worldview even if they don't claim a particular religion they still have something that impacts what they do and how they think.

romanhn
I'm curious, what do you plan to do with this list? The ones listed in this thread are valuable, sure, but the opportunities for imparting these lessons come up with daily interactions. I personally wouldn't stress out about trying to cover all the bases. Be a good person and a role model yourself and your kids will take on a lot of those qualities on their own.
artpepper
> Be a good person and a role model

This. More and more, I've realized that I want my kid to have empathy, curiosity about the world, and a strong sense of self, and I trust that the rest will fall into place.

The specifics of what she learns or what her interests are, matter less. (Obviously I want her to learn all the academic basics, reading and math, etc.)

[slight edits]

mturmon
Sense of humor

Word play

Irony in all its senses

artpepper
- Empathy

- Imagination

- Self-actualization / strong sense of self

- Names of dinosaurs