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>https://www.stilldrinking.org/things-i-send-to-recruiters

Or how to be an asshole to recruiters. As problematic as recruiter spam may be, sending a childish retort is not the solution.

And yet one can still find it hilarious, as I do, without condoning it or recommending that others do it as well.
Agreed. It struck me as a more humane (yet less hilarious) version of Missing Missy.[1]

[1]: http://www.27bslash6.com/missy.html

Though "Missing Missy" is arguably a bit inhumane, OTOH, even if you can't use Word or summat to make a poster there's always good ol' literal cut-and-paste. Even a six year old could do it. Of course, as there were probably no six year olds around the office, it's easier to put the burden on someone else (bonus for: "...and I have to leave, so here's a hard deadline to do work you're not paid for.") Which I think was the whole point of the exercise.

As for this writing, he responds more politely than I do when someone sends a req for something 3000 miles away on a tech stack I've never even seen, let alone put on my resume.

Indeed. There's an argument to be made that asking someone to do unpaid work is inhumane (depending on the context).

Personally, I put thought into my replies commensurate with the recruiter's message. Even if I'm uninterested, a thoughtful message deserves a similar reply.

The recruiters probably laughed their asses off.

They're the email equivalent of telemarketers. Having someone tell you to screw of in a witty, satirical way brightens up your day a lot more funny than being hung up on.

I agree, I"m sure these get passed around since by far the most frequent response is radio silence.
Dear Peter⁠, I see from your postings you have a sense of humor, have justifiably no patience for the tech-fad-of-the-month and apparently plenty of spare time at Seven Rooms (which shows you aren't being challenged). Sounds like you're ready to step up for a bigger adventure!

I represent a growing firm that totally OWNS the COBOL-90 deployment market. Yes, it's Wall Street (without the hassle of actually going to Wall Street -- we're in rural Jersey). We blend the modern (we do agile stand ups every 15 minutes) and all the usual employee "perks" (vending machine updated monthly, all the coffee you can drink -- refill the percolator if you take the last cup!) and of course the traditional "water cooler" where you can talk with your colleagues about last night's TV shows or what tie to wear during the four (yes, four!) scheduled 10-minute breaks. And no fussing with cranky tools, our COBOL compilers have been chugging along without problems for DECADES.

I'm passionately awaiting your reply, g

So he actually gives a response? Callooh callay!

I'd say none of the recruiter emails were terrible, but I see the points about requiring passion and code ownership.

Also, he makes a point about emails going to his personal email address. I've had companies email my "friends and family" address, which must've been harvested from private mailing lists, and that does cross a line.