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am I the only one who had trouble reading that title?
You are not the only one.

Skimming the ticket comments, it smells like an idea that, ten weeks after Google's compile, a given release will start throwing SSL cert handshake alarms for at least some major websites.

Anybody that does not permit Chrome to auto-update might anticipate many intrusive SSL security warnings, every 10 weeks or less.

While you may have downloaded and installed Chrome on a given date, the download's compilation timestamp could be any point up to ten weeks in the past?

All because anti-virus?

Not anti-virus. Symantec. You might even call it a bit pro-Symantec, in that the time bomb is an accommodation added especially for them. I certainly would not call it antisymantec.
A specific release had a bug that caused this, it's not planned behaviour and should not happen in the future.
it could also have been built-in build-time time-bomb.
Built-in build-time time-bomb with 10 week timer.
My brain seemed to skip over the strange part, so I just read it as "Chrome built-in time-bomb of 10 weeks". I didn't even notice until I read your comment.
If I'm reading this correctly, out of date versions of chrome (>10 weeks old) simply weren't loading sites like https://www.amazon.com/

This exact issue was affecting my girlfriend's machine a few days ago. I restarted chrome to update and the problem went away. At the time, I just thought it was an overly pushy new feature by google to force people to update.

Ah, that just happened to me last night. I opened it in Safari instead, and thought "Boy, Chrome can be so annoying these days."

The only indication you should update Chrome is some small red dots near the right edge of the window.

Holy crap am I understanding this correctly? Out of date Chrome browsers will not load Amazon and other sites utilizing Symantec SSL certs??? Amazon and everyone running Symantec certs dropping Symantec in T-minus: 3 ... 2 ...