Ask HN: What's your favorite nerdy joke?

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Nice belt.

Q. What do you get if you integrate a meromorphic function around Europe?

A. Zero, because there are no Poles! Okay, there are Poles, but they're removable.

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop.

The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg says "No, but I know where I am."

Q: Why do mathematicians confuse Halloween with Christmas?

A: Because OCT 31 == DEC 25.

Two mathematicians were having an argument over dinner, about the knowledge of the general public. While one went to the restroom, the other called over the waitress and offered her $20 if she would reply "one-third x cubed" to a question he would ask. When his colleague returned, he asked "excuse me, do you happen to know the integral of x squared?" She paused for a moment and said "one-third x cubed" to his colleague's amazement. Then she walked away, pocketing the money and smirking "... plus a constant."

Q: How is a female stronger than male?

A: Fe = Iron

Female = Iron male

Q: Two linguists were walking down the street. Which one was the specialist in contextually indicated deixis and anaphoric reference resolution strategies?

A: The other one.

What do you call Frodo if he starts smoking? A bad hobbit.

I usually find the Tombstones for Scientists to be pretty funny.

http://web.mst.edu/~gbert/tombstone.html

The Yoda embedding, contravariant it is.

Well here is list

Q:Once there were few tiny functions of x playing in the garden. Suddenly the differential operator d/dx came to eat them up. Everyone else ran away but which function did not?

A: e^x

Q:The next day again the tiny functions were playing in the garden. Again the differential operator came. Again e^x stood there very bravely, but got eat. Why?

A: It was d/dy not d/dx.

(Pause for laughter).

Once a mathematician was eating chicken. He kept on dipping it in a bowl. Another mathematician came and asked, "I thought you were going to have curry with you chicken."

"Yes I was", said the first one."Let us assume that there is some curry inside the bowl".

(pause for some more laughter)

Now let us move on to IT sector. This is the best one I have heard so far.

Once three guys from Microsoft, IBM and Intel were peeing in adjoining booths. The Microsoft guy finished first, washed his hands. He took a paper tissue and wiped his hand clean. He took another one to remove the dampness of the hands and said,"At Microsoft we do everything efficiently".

Then then IBM guy finished. He also washed his hand. He took a tissue and tore it in half. With the first half he wiped his hand. Then with the other half we remove the dampness and said,"At IBM we do everything efficiently, using minimal resources".

Now the Intel guy finished at last. He didn't was his hands and walked directly to the door. He opened the door, looked back at the two and said "At Intel, we don't piss at our hands".

(Take a bow)

Stack Overflow's "What's your favorite programmer cartoon" http://stackoverflow.com/questions/84556/whats-your-favorite...

Einstein is traveling by train.

They train zips past a meadow and the person opposite, who has recognized Einstein says: "I'll bet you don't know how many sheep there were in that field".

Einstein replies: 1241.

The man, stunned: Wow, that's amazing, how did you count them so quickly? I know the answer is right because that field belongs to my uncle.

Einstein: Simple, I counted the legs, divided by 4.

I especially like a Chuck Norris fact:

Chuck Norris [...] can divide by zero.

But also the XKCD "sudo make me a sandwich" one.

A blond walks into a bar and asks the barkeep for a double entendre. So he gave her one.