Ask HN: I think I am grossly underpaid. Question on work/life balance?
I am not an engineer, though. I lead a remote team located outside of US. My workload is really awful. I usually work 55 hrs to 60 hrs per week. Additionally, my commute takes 90 min. on daily basis. I still have very good knowledge of technologies and I do coding in my leisure time.
Every day I wake up with feeling bad about myself. I took this job because of some personal reasons. I have no personal life, no hobbies, no interests. I can't remember when I laughed last time. It's work -->home-->gym-->work-->sleep--> repeat cycle for me.
I want to move into the management. I have discussed this issue and work hours multiple times with my manager, who just makes excuses every time we discuss and shows false hope.I am young and very enthusiastic about technology and making difference to lives of millions of people. I equally like making money as well.
What shall I do? I don't have a mentor or good friend to discuss these issues. Should I continue the job and see how it pans out or should I start looking for another tech company? I don't know if I am overreacting?
In my opinion worst thing is that, I can not stop thinking about the work. My autopilot on brain keeps thinking about the work, even though I don't want to. I tried observing my thoughts but that does not work for me.
Could anyone with enough experience under the belt please advise?
4 comments
[ 11.9 ms ] story [ 24.3 ms ] threadIf I were you I'd probably do two things:
1. I'd try and save enough money for a couple of years runway in case I wanted to do my own thing/start consulting.
2. I'd look around to see if there are other jobs that might be interesting. My biggest regrets are jobs I've stayed at too long, not the ones I left too quickly. Experience at many companies is great. Now, when you can take or leave a new job, is a good low stress time to look.
The long commute in itself is not good for your health and a good reason to change jobs or negotiate some remote/home working. If your team is offshore, do you need to be at the office every day?
> I have no personal life, no hobbies, no interests. I can't remember when I laughed last time
A definite indication it's time to change.
> manager, who just makes excuses every time we discuss and shows false hope
Sounds like not much chance of moving forward in your current job.
> Should I continue the job and see how it pans out?
As you are an experienced tech professional in the US I think you will have no problems finding a position that aligns more with your life goals. Have you searched/applied/interviewed for any other roles? If so, have you had any offers or responses?
What about looking for Software Dev Manager or Architect positions at other companies closer to your home or with remote working options?
A lot of the other stuff can be worked out. You can move closer to work or better yet negotiate a remote working environment ( if possible ) You can find a hobby , granted that's not so easy to do. And increases in salary are inevitable and can be negotiated.
What i would suggest is talking directly with HR and not your manager. These are trained professionals who sometimes have really good insight into the peripheral aspects of the work environment. If you do stay and they see you have potential for a management role, or you push yourself into that direction i.e MBA night school etc, the more time you have with company the greater chance of that happening, as well as being fully prepared to move into the position when it presents itself.
In the end though go with what feels right for you ( i know that sounds cliche, but in the end it is your life) I just quit my job, but not for salary reasons so it was a lot easy to decide. $130k with equity does not sound bad, but i guess it all depends on your previous experience and qualifications.
There is some pretty good scuba diving around Seattle ... just for a hobby suggestion. I found scuba diving to be super peaceful and relaxing.
It sounds like you are heading down the path of burnout which often lands in the realm of depression. If you wait until your breaking point, it becomes 10x harder to make the change you need, not to mention presenting yourself as marketable.
It's much easier to find a new job while currently employed at a top tech company as oppose to having just come off a 6 month recovery hiatus.
You say you can't stop thinking about your work. Perhaps constantly keeping your mind busy with work is your subconscious trying to avoiding having to deal with how unhappy you are, and how big of a anxiety causing life change it will be to try and find a new job?
If I were you, I would spruce up the resume and start sending it out. Worst case, nothing comes of it and you stay exactly where you are.