Ask HN: What's the best way to handle rejections?
In classic HN spirit, does anyone have a optimal method, theory or formula for knowing when review your strategy?
This would be applicable in many forms of day to day life, weather its business, asking for pay-rise or even seeking your potential partner.
- how many times should you pitch before you give up or look at changing your proposition? - how do you know if the problem is your proposition or the total concept?
I'm sure there's a correlation between the number of times you do something & at which point you start to get rewards for your effort. I just wanted to know if there was a more educated way of going about it rather than constantly guessing.
23 comments
[ 5.9 ms ] story [ 77.9 ms ] threadEventually you'll break in a very interesting way. The rejections will just stop stinging, and they just become another part of the journey to your goal.
Your number one rule as an entrepreneur is finding your true believers.
At this point, I don't know if it's working or if it's failing. Do I stop & pivot because I didn't get a response or should I peruse to try and get a response from the previous 10 before moving along.
If you're doing that then you have to investigate where down the funnel you might be failing. If they're opening your email but not engaging, then the body of the email:
1. Doesn't give a clear CTA
2. Makes the reader feel they're not your demographic
3. Just feels spammy
4. Is overly verbose.
Another tip is NEVER try and close right away. I usually begin with a leading question about them/their service, then hint about what I'm doing and ask how they're currently doing something similar, and then propose alternatives.
Unless your product is something they don't already have but need, you're competing with activation energy to switch. That's hard. I guess it depends on what you're trying to accomplish.
In the end remember:
1. That business is a relationship, and a relationship is built on trust.
2. Trust is earned.
3. People want to feel like people.
The advice I've offered is gained through my personal experience, if you've learned a different approach please share it and help the entire community. :)
Have confidence that you said what you think, there's nothing wrong with it.
Voting systems feed on ego and self-worth. And I lost respect for your original comment after seeing the reply.
Otherwise I was wondering if it was just bot activity, which is why I sent a call out for human engagement! :^)
I think of it like the sculptor: Rejections should be like the process of removing all the material that is not part of what you are sculpting. Each rejection should chisel another chunk off.
If it seems like it's been a while since you learned something from a rejection it's time to review.
Even after refining to the point of having a finished sculpture, you still need to consider the possibility that you've got something good, but simply haven't pitched to the right person yet. Look for comments like, 'that's a really compelling|interesting|novel|worthy idea, but it's not what we get involved in'. In those cases, ask for referrals to people they think might be interested.
The point to cease then, would be when you're not learning anything new, and you're not getting references to someone who might be interested.
Each of the examples you listed would have a different protocol. If you get a no when asking for a raise, or pitching investors, you should be able to get an explanation for why. But if you get rejected asking for a date, you'll likely not get a reason you can use. So some intuition is always going to be required.
What about cases that you get no response? For example I've sent an email or attempted to followup but there's no way for me to get real feedback other than knowing they clicked on the link or they opened the email because they simply don't reply or answer.
It's like going finishing & you know there's fish because they bite but you never manage to hook them. It's so frustrating even though I've changed rods, hooks & bait.
The irony is that you start to second guess as to why you sensed the bite. Was it a false positive? How many could be false positives?
That is a very clear response, isn't it?
The main thing is: have alternative options.
Every rejection gets your closer to a yes. Learn from your mistakes (if any), optimize and try again with the expectation of getting a yes.
I know its hard but try to be more robotic and take emotion out of it as much as you can.
Lastly, know your audience. Cant use the same pitch with every person.
Goals + perseverance + time = your magic formula.
Every rejection is finding one way that doesn't work. Get enough and you will end up succeeding through a process of elimination.
No pitch or message is going to get to the logic center of the other person’s brain without passing through the survival filters of the crocodile brain system first. And because of the way we evolved, those filters make pitching anything extremely difficult.
ON this subject, Oren Klaff is brilliant > https://audioboom.com/posts/2273663-oren-klaff-pitch-anythin...