I came here to post "Don't be a dick", but glad to see that someone already has it covered.
Throughout my career, I have worked with countless people that were happy to piss off others to get stuff done, and while it might get something done in the short-term, it damages them in the long term.
It doesn't matter how junior they are right now, that junior developer you shat all over might be the senior developer that tells the MD not to hire you when you rock up for an interview after being made redundant. That contractor you tried to short-change over a delivered piece of work might be the reason why you are struggling to hire people with similar skills, or the reason why a company is keen to pursue you for not delivering. That person you harassed at work might be the reason why people keep leaving your company.
All of these scenarios has happened to me in the last five years, and I'd say that my career has been shaped by the experienced of others. I'd also say that it shapes the career of many people. Hell, you only need to see the recent issues at Uber to see a company that will fail to attract top talent, and employees that will struggle to work in any team with previous co-workers.
I'll paraphrase it because I can't remember how it went. Choose some interest/activity aside from your career and commit to pursue it for the rest of your life. Such a sustained effort will one day prove to be of immense value. If you don't make your choice right now, you never will. I didn't, and I didn't, and at the age of 70 how I wish I had.
Could you put some examples or make some suggestions? I'm looking for a new hobby, which, apart from being a hobby itself, could help me in other aspects of my life.
Always ask,"Is there anything else I can do to help?"
Don't just ask once if you can help, everyone else does that. Be the person who asks again and again. People will take notice and tell others. It's the quickest way to new opportunities.
Agreed. Reflection is key in all aspects of your life. If something went bad/good/neither...look at the reality around you that resulted in that outcome.
You can start by investigating your thoughts with a sceptic mind.
Especially the ones creating emotional response.
For example "I am a failure."
How do I know this is true? Does failing at one or n things classify me as something?
Would I have failed if I wasn't trying? Was there learning involved?
Do I have a recollection of succeeding at something at least once?
This example is a bit long to show multiple ways of questioning.
Emotionally charged thoughts are more often than not unoriginal and irrational.
You can also look at Byron Katie's "The Work" methodology.
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As for investigating the emergence of your thoughts, simply point your attention to where a thought comes from when you notice you have a thought.
Like, why am I thinking that I am failure? What happened right before that? Did I decide to think that thought before I did?
You may discover that most thoughts are repetitive, unoriginal and automatic. Are they "your thoughts" then if they're just happening to you? Are they "yours" if they happen to a bunch of people?
And, bonus: do you act on all your thoughts? If not, what decides if you'll act? Observe these decisions. Do you will them into existence? Are they happening to you?
"What makes me tick?" Is a question I have curiosity about. These are some directions to put your attention in if you have this curiosity, too.
Knowing your audience is critical to communicating effectively and impacts every human interaction you'll have.
Two people with an arbitrary goal having separate conversation with the same person can have vastly different outcomes predicated on how well they know their audience.
Some examples off the top of my head:
1) Teaching a novice; understanding their skill level and learning style to guide how you teach and what you teach.
2) Asking for a favor from a colleague in a different department; understanding their priorities, pressure points, and professional goals to position your request in a way most likely to be accepted.
3) Traffic stop; understanding the LEO's concerns to ensure a smooth stop and preferably a warning for the reason you were pulled over.
4) Giving a presentation; different people care about different things, understanding your audience allows you to choose the messaging that your audience cares about and resonates the most.
Have emergency savings, preferably a bare minimum of 3 months' worth of expenses, available. Depending on your risk tolerance and income stability, 6 or 9 months might be appropriate. It's absolutely amazing the peace of mind and freedom to take risk that having emergency savings can give you.
Relax and answer will come . If you can not make decision - just stop thinking about it for few days(if it's possible, of course). Answer will come from where you can not expect.
Making mistakes is part of human nature. It's best to expect that a lot of things will go wrong, items will be lost, deadlines won't be kept, driving won't be done correctly, your boss won't know that doing $thing will cause $badthings (including annoyed employees), code will be written suboptimally, people will say stuff that hurts other people, people who hurt other people will claim they acted perfectly normally, etc.
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[ 3.9 ms ] story [ 132 ms ] threadThroughout my career, I have worked with countless people that were happy to piss off others to get stuff done, and while it might get something done in the short-term, it damages them in the long term.
It doesn't matter how junior they are right now, that junior developer you shat all over might be the senior developer that tells the MD not to hire you when you rock up for an interview after being made redundant. That contractor you tried to short-change over a delivered piece of work might be the reason why you are struggling to hire people with similar skills, or the reason why a company is keen to pursue you for not delivering. That person you harassed at work might be the reason why people keep leaving your company.
All of these scenarios has happened to me in the last five years, and I'd say that my career has been shaped by the experienced of others. I'd also say that it shapes the career of many people. Hell, you only need to see the recent issues at Uber to see a company that will fail to attract top talent, and employees that will struggle to work in any team with previous co-workers.
No snark intended. What might you start?
Could you put some examples or make some suggestions? I'm looking for a new hobby, which, apart from being a hobby itself, could help me in other aspects of my life.
never fear walking on a well-worn path.
Don't just ask once if you can help, everyone else does that. Be the person who asks again and again. People will take notice and tell others. It's the quickest way to new opportunities.
Stop calling them "my thoughts" -- observe how they emerge and investigate if you're the one causing them.
Especially the ones creating emotional response.
For example "I am a failure."
How do I know this is true? Does failing at one or n things classify me as something?
Would I have failed if I wasn't trying? Was there learning involved?
Do I have a recollection of succeeding at something at least once?
This example is a bit long to show multiple ways of questioning.
Emotionally charged thoughts are more often than not unoriginal and irrational.
You can also look at Byron Katie's "The Work" methodology.
---
As for investigating the emergence of your thoughts, simply point your attention to where a thought comes from when you notice you have a thought.
Like, why am I thinking that I am failure? What happened right before that? Did I decide to think that thought before I did?
You may discover that most thoughts are repetitive, unoriginal and automatic. Are they "your thoughts" then if they're just happening to you? Are they "yours" if they happen to a bunch of people?
And, bonus: do you act on all your thoughts? If not, what decides if you'll act? Observe these decisions. Do you will them into existence? Are they happening to you?
"What makes me tick?" Is a question I have curiosity about. These are some directions to put your attention in if you have this curiosity, too.
Knowing your audience is critical to communicating effectively and impacts every human interaction you'll have.
Two people with an arbitrary goal having separate conversation with the same person can have vastly different outcomes predicated on how well they know their audience.
Some examples off the top of my head:
1) Teaching a novice; understanding their skill level and learning style to guide how you teach and what you teach.
2) Asking for a favor from a colleague in a different department; understanding their priorities, pressure points, and professional goals to position your request in a way most likely to be accepted.
3) Traffic stop; understanding the LEO's concerns to ensure a smooth stop and preferably a warning for the reason you were pulled over.
4) Giving a presentation; different people care about different things, understanding your audience allows you to choose the messaging that your audience cares about and resonates the most.
(in pt): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcI_2zvwejk&list=PL2332BC2EB...
It applies to things other than running, too.
- My grandma... miss you supergran.
Surrounding yourself with smart people is the best way to learn and improve.
(as parent of twins trying to be "fair" :)
"apologise early"