Ask HN: Why do I always waste time on the weekends?
How did I spend my weekend?
Friday Night:
Listening to rap and channel surfing. I've got all weekend, right?
Saturday:
Spend half the day browsing, the other half watching about 4 movies. Still got all day Sunday, right?
Sunday:
Wake up @ 10. Watch a few World Cup matches, while surfing YouTube. I can do it later right?
Now I just got to work, and I'm disgusted with myself. I want to leave this job as soon as possible (one's soul can only be sucked so much), but my constant procrastination isn't helping things.
The worst part? This isn't the first time something like this has happened. I'll spend the weekday fantasizing about how productive I'm gonna be over the weekend, then spend the weekend watching movies. Then on Sunday night, while ironing my clothes for Monday, the self-flagellation begins.
Oddly, while I'm wasting time, I know that I'm wasting time. I'll spend 5 minutes doing the task, and as soon as I encounter any difficulty, I take a break to 'clear my head'. This ends up taking the rest of the day. This has happened several times.
I want to be rich. Filthy rich, even. I'm sick of working for others. I'm sick of getting up in the morning knowing my life is ticking away. But I know I'll never get there if I continue like this.
I'm 23, above-average intelligence (Dunning-Kruger FTW), and I don't want to waste my life, waking up @ 30 wondering where the years have gone.
I've been on HN long enough to know this is something quite a few of us struggle with.
Help. Please.
143 comments
[ 3.6 ms ] story [ 119 ms ] threadA "complicated spreadsheet" isn't a requirement, it's a roadblock.
You're making it harder for yourself by putting obstacles in front of yourself and then wondering why it's so hard to make progress.
I want to be rich. Filthy rich, even.
Getting rich isn't the goal. It's a byproduct.
You never even mention what your startup is going to do, who it's going to help, or why you absolutely positively must do it. If you have something you must do, identify it and focus on it. If you don't, find it. Everything else, including money, is just a detail.
I take a break to 'clear my head'.
Clearing your head isn't a necessary step, it's an excuse. Again, if you have something you must do, you head is already plenty clear. If you don't, then what are you clearing your head for?
In summary:
1. Find what you must do.
2. Start doing it.
In case you don't have something you must do, then just do something, anything. The process of doing will probably help you find your mission. The processes of thinking, preparing tools, and dreaming about money probably won't.
A couple of minor pointers that have helped me:
1. If you have 2 computers, make one for work and the other for internet and put them in different rooms.
2. Throw your TV set into the dumpster.
3. When you have code to work on, be at your terminal, working on it (Mode 1).
4. When you don't have code to write, by anywhere but your terminal with pencil and paper handy (Mode 2).
5. Start every day in Mode 1 and end every day (probably in bed) in Mode 2. Ending the day in Mode 2 in requisite to being able to start in Mode 1 the next day.
6. Take care of yourself.
You're making it harder for yourself by putting obstacles in front of yourself and then wondering why it's so hard to make progress.
This is true on so many levels. To get started, I really only need a basic spreadsheet, but I've been fantasizing about complex Pivot Tables, sparklines, VLOOKUPS, most of which I've never even used before! I think I do this so that I can tell myself I'm doing something even though I'm really accomplishing nothing. Story of my life.
"In case you don't have something you must do, then just do something, anything. The process of doing will probably help you find your mission. The processes of thinking, preparing tools, and dreaming about money probably won't."
I do this All.The.Time. Like the taxi driver in 'Collateral', I'm thinking how everything has to be perfect, while 12 years pass by. I think, and talk about money constantly: How nice It'll be to buy a Mercedes, get my own apartment, and not having to answer to a boss. I'm hiding in the server room typing this right now-he likes to sneak up behind me.
edw519, thanks for the kick in the rear. Hurts, but I need it.
But the truth is even with perfect data you still have to be willing to take risks and no amount of analysis will ever take that away.
Hard lesson to learn but a good one none the less.
When writing software, I often ask myself, "what's the simplest thing that could ever possibly work", and then proceed to implement it that way. You might try doing the same.
I think that you too often confuse means with ends, and don't attack the ends directly; instead, your waylaid by the means. For example: you want to make money with this spreadsheet scheme, but then you want to put it into the startup. Fuck, no. Work directly on your startup.
Also, stop listening to rap music. All rapper love to rap about their money, but it's a stupid pyramid scheme because they only get money from selling music (or drugs). I spent so much time smoking weed and listening to Lil Wayne in college, thinking that because I'm so smart I'm definitely going to make so much money. No, he's selling you the fantasy. When we get caught up in idol worship, we spend time admiring the successful. Successful people are too busy doing whatever makes them successful to waste time like that.
If you want to be a successful man, you have to start aligning yourself with Reality instead of Fantasy. This means if something makes you uncomfortable (say..a chapter in a book), confront it head on directly.
I'm afraid that rap music isn't all about money and drugs.
Wasn't he doing 'anything' by listening to rap music and watching the World Cup? I find your summary paralyzingly vague. :\",
One: Short deadlines can be really effective. I know 37signals isn't always a popular source here, but their idea of setting a deadline and then adjusting the scope of your project down to meet the deadline and just release the thing is a powerful one.
Two: Do you have any sort of accountability? A co-founder? Having someone you're answerable to can be really useful. Don't be worried about them taking your idea and executing it better than you. Have someone who can challenge you. Ideally, you can challenge them on a project of theirs.
Three: It sounds like a lot of your distractions are online. If your spreadsheets don't require an internet connection, give your router / ethernet cable / etc. to a friend. Or you can use a tool like Freedom to cut out internet access. I'm working on a startup that will give you specific, granular control of your internet connectivity (http://monotask.com), but we haven't launched yet, so we're not going to be super-useful just yet. Existing options include Concentrate, Freedom, Self-Control, and RescueTime's "block" feature.
Four: The motivation you mentioned is being rich. While there's nothing wrong with that, it's a bit of an abstract goal. I generally prefer for my projects to solve concrete problems that I'm having. Is there any way to pivot your focus, off of money, and onto solving the problem? That might motivate you more than money. YMMV.
Best of luck with it.
I like this. In fact that's what I'll do. Tonight, I'll simply create a functional spreadsheet and save the bells and whistles for another time. A minimum viable product, if you will.
"Two: Do you have any sort of accountability? A co-founder? Having someone you're answerable to can be really useful. Don't be worried about them taking your idea and executing it better than you. Have someone who can challenge you. Ideally, you can challenge them on a project of theirs."
No accountability. I've always fancied myself as the Lone Ranger type. I know in theory that it's good, and have even experienced its benefits firsthand.
"Four: The motivation you mentioned is being rich. While there's nothing wrong with that, it's a bit of an abstract goal. I generally prefer for my projects to solve concrete problems that I'm having. Is there any way to pivot your focus, off of money, and onto solving the problem? That might motivate you more than money. YMMV."
Hmmm, I'll have to give this some thought
"Best of luck with it." Thanks.
All the other alternatives you have covered. It even sounds like you're looking for confirmation, rather than an answer you don't know. I'm with you - I procrastinate, blame other stresses, take breaks, stop working in order to organise what I'm working on, etc. Every now and then, I manage to just shake it all off and do something useful, and then it's blindingly obvious what I've been doing and I swear I'll never do it again. It's about time I got a grip and practiced what I preach more often, but there you go.
Good luck, wish me the same!
I always swear that this is the last time. I hope today can be a turning point.
That said, you can then spend all day making more and more detailed plans and this turns into it's own form of procrastination. Try to figure out what motivates you and then draw from that.
Also, why wait until the weekend - what do you do with the hours before and after work?
In my experience (been there, done that, worn the shirt) this is a bad aim to have (even if it is honest) because it ends up with you fantasizing about future wealth while you fritter away Friday nights :)
My highest value is autonomy: ability to do what I want, when I want. This is what I'm hoping money will buy me. Will it? I need to know.
In 'How to Get Rich', Felix Dennis warns against dedicating one's life to wealth, and even says that warning is the most important part of the book. But he correctly says right after that he doubts the warning will have any effect, as the reader is probably young and tired of poverty. Boy was he right...
Depends; you can do this on a lot less than you imagine - if you want to live in a 10 bedroom mansion, drive sports cars and so forth then you're going to need the big money.
Realize now you are statistically unlikely to get it; and, given that, think about what you specifically want rather than broad concepts.
Another consideration - are you thinking of wealth in the right terms? pg points out in his essays that wealth is not only about money; it's just that this is an easy way to gauge relative wealth. The point he makes is that you can make wealth by creating something that converts to cash (even if you never convert it to cash). But there is another point; which is that you can be wealthy without being financially super-rich.
I got lucky (am about the same age as you); as I dreamed about being super rich I ended up messing around with something in my spare time which worked out as being worth something. It was nothing stellar but in the right place at the right time it made me some money - and I found it, actually, wasn't buying me the "wealth" I expected.
Since then I've figured out exactly what I want to attain in life and my drive towards that is much more focused (I will post the list if you like, but it's not really important :) after all, what you want is a personal matter)
Funny, I was about to read a chapter on this very topic in Felix Dennis' How to Get Rich' last night. I skipped it, because I didn't want to hear it.
I read PG's wealth essay in about 2006, when I was in first year at college (I dropped out after first year to work at a telecom startup - anything to avoid school!). I think he said something like wealth is whatever you want; If you're a billionaire but there's no food for sale, your cash is useless. True enough.
I do know that I want autonomy, and not having to rely on anyone financially (I used to think I didn't need others for anything, but recently realized how stupid I was). It's just that I've seen that almost everything in our lives is related in some way to money. Many marital disagreements are about money. Many lives get ruined by poverty. Not having to worry about money simply makes life easier. Hierarchy of needs, you know? Although I've never been poor (more or less middle class), I've come to realized that I, like most people, are only a few wrong turns from poverty.
Please post the list! For me I've often thought that I'd like to be rich enough @ 30 to be a music composer. I sometimes procrastinate by researching MIDI, Linux Audio software like Rosegarden, etc.
"The first stage of any cure is admitting the problem. The hardest part of any cure is facing the solution" :)
I do know that I want autonomy, and not having to rely on anyone financially
You could easily achieve this on very little money; but this is a very broad and non-specific aim whioch covers anyone from the millionaire to the hermit (and, arguably, better describes the hermit). I'm doing an Msc in project management at the moment and we just did a section about why projects fail; the number one reason was a failure to specify the problem to be solved in enough detail.
Many marital disagreements are about money. Many lives get ruined by poverty. Not having to worry about money simply makes life easier.
The important thing to remember is that having lots of money is not necessarily a solution for this - or rather it certainly ain't the only solution.
For me I've often thought that I'd like to be rich enough @ 30 to be a music composer.
Well, if you have a talent then there is a lot of money in that area (my brother is setting up to be a composer, does very nicely even while finishing off his degree). If you don't have the ability to do that as a job then, yeh, that sounds like a pretty concrete/specific aim to go for! Fix on that and flesh it out as an idea. Write it down and stick it up somewhere prominent. Break it down into steps/things you will need. Then really dedicate to achieving it.
My goals are not particularly finance oriented any more and so might be a little wierd :) Only one requires actual serious amounts of money (and, really, that is the "long term dream" I allow myself).
- live on a narrow boat for a reasonable period of time (status: looking at buying one now, sticking point is decent but not insanely expensive internet access)
- have a successful company by 27 (status: working on it, but this is too general at the moment and I need to concrete it better first)
- marry someone amazing (status: found her but she slipped the net :) working on that)
- be respected by people [by which I mean earn a position of respect somewhere important] (status: very hard, harder than I thought. though I have a little/growing respect in my work niche here in the UK)
- be respected by my employees by a) leading the charge at the company and b) being an understanding boss (status: requires my own company...)
- write a piece of open source code that is used "universally" and is regarded as awesome by at least someone :) (status: this could well be fluke to achieve)
- live in a small whitewashed cottage in Cornwall (I know the one I want, currently a wreck)
- learn to fly, fly a jet (status: problematic as it a serious piece of time is needed to achieve it)
- go into space (status: pipe dream, but am determined to achieve it in time)
1. Write & produce a Grammy-winning Song, that shakes people to their core.
2. Break the 100m record in 2012
3. Master a technical/engineering subject
4. Design a house
5. Write a bestselling book
6. Travel to each continent
7. Travel to space
8. Learn a foreign language
9. Learn to fly an airplane
I don't know if I still want to go for #2, even though I'm a Jamaican like Bolt. But one can live in hope, right?
Thanks for admitting that status is important to you. That's also the reason I would like to master a technical subject.
I've always considered this, at least from my perspective, as less about status and more about how to judge your success.
I'd like to earn the respect of groups I, in turn, respect; for example I hugely respect the HN crowd and try my best to act in ways people here respect/approve of. This seems to me to be a relatively altruistic judge of your own success as an individual; after all if you are succeeding in the eyes of people you yourself feel are successes then that has to be a good thing :)
Earlier this year, I created a list of things I want to do before I die:
I hope this doesn't sound too critical; but I think you are aiming very high. There isn't a lot wrong with that as long as you know it is a high aim :)
I don't know if I still want to go for #2, even though I'm a Jamaican like Bolt. But one can live in hope, right?
I'd say of he list #2 is your most frivolous aim. There are years of dedication and work required to achieve that - and given your age I would say it is becoming less and less likely to be achievable. By 2012? Well I have no idea of your aptitude at running but that seems a steep aim (unless you are already working towards it).
I used to have a similar list before the current one; what you need to do is pare things down to what you really want and then break that down into meaningful goals (without being too analytical). For example: my one of having a successful company by 27 is somewhat mapped out. I have a broad idea of the field I will launch into, how I would run/build my company and which contacts I need to build to achieve it. These are all sub-aims that I can work towards on a month-month basis. Once you see those aims starting to be achieved the long term goals appear more achievable.
But, most importantly, just get working on them :D
But then I realized you don't have to achieve any of those to achieve a lot. If you try for #1 and fail, you've still made amazing music. If you try for #2 and fail, you're still keeping yourself in excellent physical shape. Try for #6 and fail, and you've still experienced some of the cultural richness of our world.
You might never achieve a single item on this list—but you'd be looking at a very fulfilling life in the pursuit of it.
> The important thing to remember is that having lots of money is not necessarily a solution for this - or rather it certainly ain't the only solution.
In fact I wouldn't be surprised to learn from a wise old man that having lots of it can be a cause of marital disagreements about money.
If you want to live like your rich go into investment banking. If you want to stop worrying about money, spend less. If all you want is freedom you can work a normal job in the US for 10 years and then retire to India or live like your poor for 15 years and then retire in the US.
But, if you really just want to dream about becoming rich spend 1$ a week / month on Powerball / Mega Millions and it Might happen. The truth is daydreaming can in and of it's self be fun just don't wast a lot of resources on it.
We're the usual suspects, The real definition of success, Throwing money cause I can and I love it, From nothing, to something..."
What's your story?
Love the song, by the way. Never heard it before.
Have you made a decision on what you're gonna do?
My main goal at present has simply become the following:
I want to enjoy my work. Extremely so, even.
To me, this is the real challenge, much more so than getting more money.
As for wasting time? Look at the 80 hours per week you're wasting at a job you hate (counting wake-up, prep, commute, and winding-down) rather than the 30-35 or so waking hours you're spending on weekend recreation. Take a plunge. Change your life.
I got laid off at the beginning of this year, and did a lot of cool things in my down-time. I'm finally back on board with a great company that's well-established (more than a decade old) but small and still has a startup feel to it. I spend the weekends hanging out with family, fishing, bicycling, writing, photographing stuff. Refreshed, I can truly welcome my Mondays now that I'm doing what I love to do for work.
Also, I have to ask: With a name like oz, are you in Kansas like I am (Lenexa/KC Suburbs)?
I have to ask: Do you think marriage is/has been worth it? The only time I ever considered it was when I was a Christian, and even then my mind rebelled at the thought.
On some weeks I get all my day job work done in 4 days (I work from home), relax on friday and have two days for sideprojects :)
If you don't have any friends available, the 2nd best motivator is to break it up into smaller and smaller tasks until you have something you can take care of quickly and easily enough that there's no way you can procrastinate (Pomodoro method also helps with this approach).
If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's also important to take Saturday off and actually go outside and do something fun (sitting at home or going to the bar does not count as a useful day off). You'll find that Sunday is a lot more productive.
Seriously, who can't work on something for 25 mins? Give it a try.
For bonus points tell me how you plan to become filthy rich with an Excel spreadsheet.
I'd rather not say what the spreadsheet is for, but it's not my end game. The proceeds of that will go to my other startups; for example my greeting card company (I hand-make greeting cards with paper and fabric, sold quite a few for Mother's Day and definitely intend to make a huge company of it). Stay tuned.
You can't usually break old habits by just, you know, deciding for real this time that you aren't going to let it happen anymore. Sure, that works for one decision (10:05am) and maybe even a bunch of them (10:09am, 10:43am, 10:44am, 11:05am...) but how long can you keep winning those battles through force of will alone? Your will gets tired.
You have to take physical steps to make it impossible. If you give away your TV, that's a real-world step that would force you out of that particular addiction (and believe me, TV is addicting... there are an awful lot of very smart people who've worked for decades making it that way). I haven't had a TV since 2002 or so, and I've never intend to get another. So that's one down.
I still find plenty of ways to waste time even when my work is my own, and interesting to me -- I'm doing it right now! -- but once you've successfully knocked down your most serious distractions it gets a little easier to see how it all works. Personally, I cut out TV and any and all gaming a long time ago (because they just short-circuit my brain, it seems... I get sucked in even if I'm not enjoying myself at all), and most of my time-wasters that are left aren't so impossible to resist -- so I can use some of the methods other posters are talking about.
Making lists (and explicitly reprioritizing) is great -- sometimes when you hit a roadblock that would normally have you popping open a "timewasting" browser window, or wandering off to the kitchen, if instead you grab the paper & pen and go outside you can either scribble your way through the problem step by step, OR realize that you don't have to solve it at all (or, not yet).
When you need a break, walks are also great -- instead of something like TV (which fills your head with stuff that completely blocks most useful thought) you can just follow your feet for a bit, enjoy the weather (there are pleasant aspects to most weather) and clear your head and your thinking.
Also allow yourself time to recharge (again, TV is bad for this because it fills up your head with a flood of images and messages designed to stick there...) but hanging out with friends & loved ones is great, getting outside is great, going for a run is great.
One final thought -- if you actually make some changes (like blocking web access part of the day, tossing the TV, etc.) it takes a while before you actual benefit from the changes -- you'll keep popping from your chair and heading to the TV for a good while, for example, or find yourself pacing around just thinking furiously about whatever time-wasting thing you'd normally have been doing at that moment.
Some argue that we already spend time on what is important to us. If it wasn't important, than we wouldn't be spending time on it. In my case, my work is more important than my family at times. In yours, the argument would go, having fun is more important that pursuing your "dream".
I think it takes a lifestyle change. A rehash of what is _actually_ important to us and redirecting our attention and energy to that.
Good luck, oz. I hope you make it!
I am 32, turning 33 this coming Sunday and I think my best years are ahead of me. I tried hard to in my twenties, but twenty-something distractions got in the way. First wife, three kids, divorce, working hard to gain an inch.
Not I have wised up, refined my work habits, learned from my mistakes (even the ones I repeated twice), found a woman that "gets" entrepreneurship and I am doing better than ever.
When I am 40, I am going to be able to relax, listen to music on my deck while holding my wifes hand and not worrying about my future.
Ask me when I was 23 and I would not had this same response.
Was there a specific incident that caused you to wise up? Some sort of epiphany?
We all have "Office Space" or "The Office" type situations at our jobs!
Now when I come to work it involves walking upstairs to my DEDICATED office after a nice breakfast, some music and my two cats...
Damn, it feels good to be gangsta...
Seriously though, I'm happy for you. And I want that for myself. I spend the day counting down the hours. Small office with no privacy, so I can't even learn some Python to pass the time.
* Break big tasks into small pieces, make a list.
* Visualize yourself taking (and completing) the first (physical) step.
* Take a time based goal instead of task based one, e.g., just spent 5-10-15 minutes on the task.
* Start with big rewards (for small things) and try to make them smaller as you go.
* Set deadlines, plan backwards (but don't abuse it to procrastinate ;)
I think of discipline as a muscle that you have to train. Don't expect to be able to lift a complete weekend of productive work if you usually 'slack off'. I definitely recognize your behavior.
I've been giving this same advice to others, and I have started, but like edw519 said, I'm using the spreadsheet as an excuse.
Thanks eelco.
1) The task is mundane or repetitive.
2) I think the task is trivial. "Oh, thats something I can bang out in a few hours, and I've got all week to work on it"
3) There is a tricky problem within the task that I haven't figured out yet.
The key to it all was realizing I'm not as smart as I think I am. I needed to make a plan. This is hard, I've never kept an appointment book, I don't make to do lists, those are for dumb people. Not me, I can reason out any problem and keep track of it in my head! Bullshit.
Sit down with a pencil and a stack of paper. Draw your problem out. Make a list of all the gotchas. Make a list of all the 'easy' things. Quickly you start to realize that even with trivial problems, there is a lot of stuff to do. Yeah, you are smart, so most of those things will only take 2 minutes, but when you see them all laid out on paper, they add up. Oh shit, no time for you tube. I've actually thought about the problem, I've got skin in the game now, I've got some motivation.
When you started this trivial task of making a plan, you thought it would take 5 minutes because you are so damn smart. Two hours later you are still pushing papers around your kitchen table. Revising, looking for the common connections, refactoring, making a better list, making better software.
1) The task is mundane or repetitive.
2) I think the task is trivial. "Oh, thats something I can bang out in a few hours, and I've got all week to work on it"
3) There is a tricky problem within the task that I haven't figured out yet."
You've nailed it, especially number 3. I'll take out my pencil & paper, start sketching out things. The moment something stumps me, I put it down and get up 'for a drink of water.' While I'm up, might as well see what's on USA. Maybe White Collar or Burn Notice...and three hours pass.
If I may ask, how old are you? And why are you 'angry'
That is the problem with most solutions you find printed in books or on the web. They only show the problem and the fully refactored solution. Refactored solutions, even when fully explained, are just another form of obfuscation. Behind every tough problem, there are notebooks and whiteboards and hundreds/thousands of lines of discarded code that you never see. That is where the magic happens. You just have to do the work, you have to make your own ah-ha! moment.
This process is a lot easier if you use a language that has a REPL - like python, ruby, or the various lisp dialects. It is easier to work through problems this way, regardless of what your final target language may be.
Oh god, yes. I realized recently that in practice, it's not done that way. Hard habit to break, though. I used to think that being smart meant that solutions were obvious.
I want to get my own place in the next couple of months.
It's so easy to be all talk and no work. No one will make your dreams come true for you. If you let yourself be held back, at least be honest with yourself and admit you're doing it to yourself.
No one but you will make you succeed in achieving your dreams. Trust me. I'm wondering where the years went, and all my cool domains names lay there, half completed.
As for practical advice, if you feel the need to relax, try watching movies you've already seen, and working while they are on in the background. For me, it's The Goonies and CB4. Anything you know like the back of your hand, so you're entertained, but can fade in and out of paying attention and keep on cracking on the work. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. This works especially well with "gruntwork" but it's probably not going to be something you want to do when really working on new, core aspects. There you just need to buckle down and do it. And if you don't... well, then you want to eat cheesy poofs and lay around more than you want this other dream.
How you spend your time _is_ your dream. You might not like your dream, but there it is. In the long run, we all end up with the level of productivity we want, and that we deserve.
I don't mean to be negative, but having your hand held and being told it's OK isn't what you need. You need to get your ass in gear. So do it.
Take a sick day to get started if you feel like you can't get started on the weekend. Get the ball rolling. Do whatever you have to do to get started, or you'll end up where you deserve - nowhere near your goal.
You have to make it happen.
I've already started, but the gruntwork is like a Roman phalanx in my path. Guess I'll just have to shut up and fight.
Excellent, helpful response. Thanks.
A few things that helped me:
1. Making a list of productive things to do and start doing one of them. If you notice you're starting to procrastinate, choose something else from the list that seems to be more enjoyable to do. This way, you might not finish what you planned to do, but you would still have done something productive and you won't beat yourself up for procrastinating. Then just cycle through the list and eventually you'll end up doing everything on the list.
2. If there's a very boring task that i need to do, i just tell myself i'll do some work for 5 minutes and then do something else, but once i get started i'll probably work until i get the task done.
The only thing that really bothers me is when i have very productive days followed by a sequence of very unproductive days. It feels like i have some sort of bi-polar. Does anyone else experience something similar?
"if you want something to get done, ask a busy person".
I think the way to "solve" the problem of procrastination is to let delight pull you instead of making a to-do list push you. Work on an ambitious project you really enjoy, and sail as close to the wind as you can, and you'll leave the right things undone
Maybe you could write an application to automate the spreadsheet work.... which might be more motivating?
Take for instance this weekend, I had a whole vision of what I was going to do over the weekend and what I was going to get done, it was great, it sounded like a perfect plan, except none of it happened, life happened. I got caught up doing other random things that are on my ever expanding todo list. That doesn't mean I didn't have a productive weekend, on the contrary, I got a ton of stuff done, and I'm sitting here on a monday morning calm and relaxed knowing that I had a full and productive weekend and that I'm ready to get more stuff done this week, whatever it may be.
The best advice I can give you is to get a solid time management system like GTD setup where you dump everything, and then stop trying to allocate your time exactly, but rather think of things in terms of actionable steps on a variety of projects, so you can just jump in and get something done. I find having a specific project that I've been hyping up getting done all week rarely gets done because you've thought about it too much. You just need to act.
Do you brush your teeth every morning? If so, how did you develop the discipline for that?
IMO, there's even more similarity between the two. If you skip brushing for a day, you'll have slightly bad breath. If you skip a week, you'll have really bad breath. A month? You're looking at cavities. The longer you put it off, the worse it gets, the effects just aren't immediate.
The same goes for time management. Skipping a day is no big deal, but if you keep skipping, it only gets worse.
I do have two more realistic recommendations for better time management.
1) Pick a system that works for you and use it 100% for everything, not just work, or for home or any other subdivision, use it as your primary system for everything you need to get done. For me, I'm migrating that into the GTD system, and so far its worked very well for me. The important thing is that you stay on it, because if you stop using it at all, it won't work.
2) Don't half ass anything. What I mean by this, is consciously make a decision to fully engage yourself in whatever you do. Either be productive, or don't be productive, but _never_ anything in between. You made this post on a monday morning after spending a weekend watching tv and youtube and it bothers you because you feel like you wasted a weekend. The problem is you _did_ waste a weekend. Because you were sitting there watching tv and youtube while consciously worrying that you sitting there watching tv and youtube instead of being productive. Do one or the other, never both, if you're worrying about something, put it on your todo list and let it be until you're actually sitting down to do it. Its perfectly fine to spend an entire weekend doing absolutely nothing productive, but you need to make the conscious choice to do that and immediately drop any worries about doing other things.
I watched world cup over the weekend as well, I even played zelda on my DS while watching world cup, and it was great, I had a lot of fun, because I said hey, I want to relax and have some fun for a while, so I played video games and watched soccer with no worries about accomplishing anything or not being productive. I had made the choice to not be productive which allowed me to have worry free fun and relaxation. After the game I decided it was time to get stuff done, so I went to my list of projects that all have next actions waiting for me, so without having to figure out what needs to get done next, I had a task waiting for me and was immediately able to jump in.
So overall, it really is a mindset change, with the most important aspect being able to focus solely on your current action without worry.
Start today, make the most of thirty minutes and stop. One hour every day is more valuable than seven on Saturday, it'll let the lessons percolate while you sleep and do your other job. A small daily goal won't seem so imposing but it will maintain your mental momentum.
Most importantly, though, do something you really care about. Mess around and try things until you fall into it. Build a cause and a story around it and inspire yourself. You're only the first person you'll have to sell. When you wake up in the morning with a burning desire to change the world your way, don't worry, it won't feel like work any more.
If you need to find more time, then you have to cut something somewhere. Time is a zero sum game, right? You're already living 24 hours per day, it's all in how you slice it. So what took up the most of your weekend?
> channel surfing > watching about 4 movies > Watch a few World Cup matches, while surfing YouTube.
If you'd throw out your TV, you'd have saved at least 10 or 15 hours, right?
Thanks.
But I was going nowhere. It took me a while to find what I really cared about.
Let me give you a hint. Anyone who cares about money as an end in itself has not really thought the thing out.
Now at almost 30, I have satisfying, challenging work. My wife doesn't have to work because we live on my salary. My son is six and happy. I'm paying off the grad school debt and the mortgage that happened in between. And I have some inkling about what I'll do next.
Figure out some purpose in life. It's an investment that will pay off way better than VBA macros.
But what does it open into? What freedom? What possibilities? If you begin with the end in mind, you'll have a reason to suffer for the money to buy the freedom you want. Without it you'll just dream about dreaming.
you don't need any help from us. if you start doing things, even failing at them, you will one day succeed. don't give up and just remember there is only one obstacle between you, and your chosen life.
you, so i say again
just do it.