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What is the definition of "commoner" here? Is it an interlinked group of families that the royals must choose their spouses from? If even a princess can become a commoner by marrying outside the group then it seems like it must be fairly inbred. Unless, maybe males can marry commoner women without problem?

Kind of typical for the BBC to carry this story without making note of the obvious insanity of such things, since the UK has it's own equally ridiculous system.

Im not sure why there is confusion here. A commoner is any common person who is not royalty. As such she is choosing to marry a non-royal and as such loses her status as a royal.
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Any developed society must follow the latest update of leftist Cultural Marxist Koolaid. How dare they have diversity of opinions?
It would be interesting if this meant she was allowed to express political views and she then campaigned to reform (or maybe end) the Imperial system. I know the Emperor is forbidden from politics, but I don't know if that applies to the entire family. It seems like a lot of ridiculously Byzantine nonsense surrounding what is an entirely ceremonial position at this point.

They almost considered changing the succession laws to allow women to ascend the throne but shelved the effort when a male heir (Hisahito) was born (crisis averted I guess.) So what, really, is there to "royal status?"

Probably her descendants won't be in the line of succession.
True, but that may not mean much in the modern era, where celebrity status often confers greater power and influence than mere royal lineage.
What were even her options to marry? Marrying somebody in a royal family from another country? European monarchs did that for a while, but it doesn't seem in the spirit of Japanese nationalism. Or does she have to marry within her own family?
Yes I also don't understand this. Who can she actually marry then without losing royal status. If marrying own family isn't that wrong?