Ask HN: How do I dress better?
I have been a hoodie and jeans kind of guy for a long time.
But now that I graduated and started working as a developer, I feel that my attire might be getting in the way of being taken seriously.
Do you have advice (or service) that would help me up "my game" without seeming that I try too hard?
64 comments
[ 1.7 ms ] story [ 122 ms ] threadNot only will your clothes feel great, as a side effect you will be stylish without being fashionable. Quality never goes out of style.
Edit. I should add that top quality fabric is never wasted on "fast fashion" so the clothes will always be a bit more conservative and so will remain stylish for longer.
This is one area where men have a massive advantage over women. As a man you can buy well made clothes with quality fabric for less than women pay for wear-once garbage.
Edit. A lot of designers will make a limited number of items with fabric that is much better than the pricing point would suggest. My guess is they have dreams of being in Paris or Milan and so sneak in more quality than the collection calls for on a few items - the "yes most of my designs are compromised by commercial concerns, but look at this one shirt" effect.
Another approach is to go to a store that sells the kinds of attire you'd generally be comfortable in (i.e., the kind of store that sells attire for people like you, and ask a shop attendant to dress you. Obviously there's a risk there that they'll just try and sell you overpriced stuff that doesn't suit you, so you have to be confident enough in your own judgement about what you'll feel good in, and be assertive enough to not let yourself spend more than you're comfortable with.
You could also just try browsing fashion sites online to find outfits that you like. But don't feel like you need to get fancy and complicated (and expensive). Just go for simple outfits made of good fabric and that fit your body shape well.
He knew literally nothing about fashion, but was consistently complimented on his clothing.
The only downside is you will often end up with sets of clothes that can't be mixed and matched well.
Yet another one is that you will often buy clothes very specific to that year's collection and will look outdated soon.
Mannequins rarely are with the cheaper and/or classic clothes.
My actual advice is buy the clothes with the best quality fabric.
He does this once every year now. The difference is amazing. Caveat: she actually looks better dressed than most women.
You can also get inspired by celeb's styles: https://lookastic.com/men/celebrities
And don't get shy to ask some fashion lover girl to escort you on a shopping spree. But why stop here, you can hire a stylist and figure out what fits your personality.
Honestly though I'm 40 and I wear jeans and a t-shirt. I've been working as a developer for 20 years. When I started the jeans and a t-shirt thing was not accepted like it is now.
(1) If you go to a nice department store like Nordstrom, I believe you can still make an appointment with a personal shopper. That might be the best way for you to try new styles while also getting to feel the fabric in advance and get clothes that fit you well.
(2) If there are people you think dress nicely in a way you'd like to emulate, compliment them! They'll appreciate it. They might tell you where they got the outfit. And if not, you can ask.
(3) If you go to a clothing company's website like JCrew.com, they'll have a lot of pictures of people wearing full, stylish outfits, that might start to give you ideas about how to put your own outfits together. On JCrew I believe they even have a page called "What to wear" with links to all the items in each picture.
Good luck out there!
- Look at what people wear when you walk around the street. Who dresses well? What do you like about their style?
- Try on lots of different clothes, including stuff that you wouldn't normally wear. What works? What doesn't? Why?
- Get a full length mirror. Look at yourself before you leave the house everyday. Take some time to try on outfits, how can you combine clothes you already have into new outfits.
- Most important -> Have fun, and dress for your taste not what you think others want to see.
Take cues from how most people dress in the office and target that level of formality. If most people are t-shirt and jeans, just stick with what you're comfortable in. If most are jeans and a button-up shirt, do that.
Yeah, it's conformity, but if you're concerned your attire is affecting your perception, the easiest way to fix it is to match everyone else.
Find "your colors" - i.e. general color directions that look good on you. Ask people (typically women because they tend to be interested in such topics) what colors they think would suit you.
I made a decision a long while back to never wear tshirts again. After a certain age they look sloppy, not cool. I always wear a collared shirt. Equally I never wear short sleeved shirts - I roll up the sleeves of long sleeved shirts on hot days.
Get some nice brown leather shoes and some nice black leather shoes.
If you live in a cold climate buy several smart jackets including some leather jackets.
Other people here have suggest flicking through mens fashion magazines like GQ for ideas.
Start noticing what smart looking men are wearing.
Get several high quality white collared shirts and several high quality black collared shirts, these will go with a nice pair of slacks.
Buy a suit and not a cheap one - get it properly fitted and try on at least six suits before you buy one - wear it without a tie when you are going out with one of the white or black shorts mentioned above.
Accessorize - get a nice watch and belt.
Keep your hair regularly cut.
Don't buy cheap clothes - this is important. Having said that, do buy quality clothes that are on sale, or find factory outlets that sell the high quality brands at lower cost.
If you do want to take the plunge, reddit.com/r/malefasionadvice is one of the best organized and most complete resources out there
for suits though I'd suggest skip off the rack and do made to measure, or if budget allows, fully bespoke.
another thing, almost never wear your jacket "naked", get a pocket square. White linen / cotton in a presidential fold for formal occasions and bright / patterned silk in a casual puff to hit the town.
Of course the reasoning for short sleeves is that graphite dust would stain long sleeves. Likewise for a black tie. Since drafting using pencils is pretty much nonexistent these days the need for the style is gone. Now it's just used to project an image of competent professional engineering.
It's also much more common among engineers in disciplines where they could get a PE than among programmers. Code monkeys don't match, sparkies and gearheads do.
Fashion changes a lot from one group of people to another. That's why it is important to emulate someone from the same group.
Emulate is important, as you don't want to copy and look exactly the same.
That you like is important, because it shows when you are not comfortable on some clothes. Wearing something you don't personally like would be "trying too hard".
If you'd still like to dress "better" in general, the /r/malefashionadvice subreddit has some solid resources on the sidebar that you should check out.
I am not affiliated with her or whatever, just follow her advice myself and enjoy her content.
For example -- keep wearing jeans, but buy a couple pairs of nice, dark/black well-cut jeans.
Instead of wearing a sweatshirt hoodie, wear a nice pullover sweater (H&M sells a nice waffle-texture sweater for fairly cheap, I got mine on clearance for $5 and I've worn it for years now).
Button-ups can easily look too formal, but flannel is a good middle ground.
Some nice-fabric solid-tone tshirts are a good basic, as well.
Now that you have a few pieces, you can mix-and-match as well. Sweater + flannel underneath, unbuttoned flannel with tshirt underneath, etc.
For shoes, instead of wearing cheap running shoes, find some nicer-looking neutral-color sneakers (might be worth looking thru https://www.reddit.com/r/Sneakers/comments/2e9b1o/we_should_..., but I can't vouch too hard for it). Depending on your style, you might also want some boots -- I have some big black Doc-esque boots that I love, but brown is a less-punk choice that's a classic.
FWIW: I'm not a guy, but this advice is pretty gender-neutral.
Good luck!
Make sure the jeans you have don't have holes / rips in them. Get some new TShirts - don't wear older / faded ones.
Make sure what you wear is in good condition, and you should be good.
If you're not happy in boring shirts, then there are some that have prints that are a bit more interesting. Similarly for shoes; I tend to really not be keen on average brown / black - but blue suede was OK.
Obv not saying to wear those exact things, but if you have a look around you can find stuff you like a little even in styles you might not like over all.
Then, clothing is a form of expression. It expresses an intention on how you want to be perceived (at a superficial level at least).
Regardless of style:
- Pick clothes that fit your size well.
- Some clothes may require some extensive ironing, especially shirts. If ironing is not for you, our you want to minimize your time ironing, have this in mind.
- Some clothes may not be able to be washed using home appliances and may require dry cleaning, etc.
- Colors and patterns matter can affect your perceived weight.
This could be an entirely online operation, too, given a smartphone app and a web store which provided access to the color codes for each of the garments.
See the book "Color for Men" by Carol Jackson for more details on seasonal color theory.
Send me a couple hundred if it ever gets off the ground.
- Fit is the most important thing. Get a few shirts and a basic suit made to measure. You can do this fairly inexpensively via sites like https://www.indochino.com/. I charcoal grey suit, a white shirt, and a light blue shirt are a great way to start.
- Understand the differences between style and fashion. Fashion is a never ending treadmill of mindless consumerism, constantly prompting you to buy new clothes. Style is about dressing timelessly.
- It's hard or go wrong with a nice pair of brown, leather soles shoes. I like Allen Edmunds: http://www.allenedmonds.com/.
- Read PutThisOn: http://putthison.com/tagged/Best_Of
Are there similar shops but EU-based?
"Look at me. I'm not conforming. Just like everyone else."
- Don't get any fad/trend items—i.e. ripped jeans are in (again) right now, but don't bother, just get a good pair.
- Fit means everything.
- Go for the 'uniforms' in the style you like (prep, street, or whatever).
- Quality over quantity (this is often related to fit).
- Dress to your body (not too tight or too loose).
- Honestly, just go to https://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/ and go through the sidebar.
- You can be incremental. Jeans are fine, just get ones that fit well, and get a pair in black. Swap the hoodie for bomber jacket or denim jacket. Get rid of your graphic t's and t's with slogans and 'funny' things.
- It doesn't have to be expensive at all. You can go to H&M or J.Crew for your basics (white/black/grey t's), maybe a button-down (oxford) or two, and a pair of navy chinos. Don't ever get jeans from brands that do lots of things (like H&M, Zara, etc.). Even if you do this, jeans don't have to be super expensive—Levi's have good fits, then there's other ones like Nudie's, Cheap Mondays, etc.
- Have some fun and experiment a little, but often you need to know the basics first to do this well (same for everything whether it be fashion, programming, art, or writing).
- You can completely skip getting someone who dresses well to help you out if you just aim to build a solid, basic wardrobe, and can shop by yourself.
- Always wear a belt. Get a simple tan leather one—you can wear it with navy chinos and shorts, black and dark blue jeans, etc. Get a simple watch. Go digital with a cheap Casio or analog.
- Don't overthink it. Just go for solid basics.
This also goes to things like stripes. If you're chubby, don't wear horizontal stripes. If you're short, wear vertical stripes to elongate you. If you're short wear waist or butt length jackets not long trenches. If you're tall, don't wear things that would elongate your lines, like wearing the exact same color through your shoes and pants. Silhouette is the term you're going to want to looking for in discussions.
- Honestly, just go to https://www.reddit.com/r/malefashionadvice/ and go through the sidebar.
+1 at MFA, but take it as a getting started guide on fits, and then once you get fits down, explore your own style. Check their WAYWT threads for lots of pictures of fits. You want to have a versatile wardrobe, not one with a ton of clothes that you can only wear with one or two things. I'm a huge fan of /r/streetwear personally with a touch of the flavoring of MFA (like collared shirts, polos, non perfecto leather jackets) and a bit of Americana like flannels and boots.
Also SHOES! Shoes are super important. I'm a sneakerhead, but if you're into more officey/professional vibe, Allen Edmonds makes some terrific shoes. Broguing on a shoe is more informal than not, a good cap toe in black and brown will serve you for a very long time. For boots, the MFA recommended Wolverine 1000 Mile and Redwing Beckmans are fantastic and can be dressed up or down.
1. Dress for who you want to be (and what you stand for) - I've found it helps to approach fashion the way you do your career. It's all about investing in where you're headed next. Your clothes are the first layer of who you are and if you think about it, it's awesome that you get to invent that every day. Pick a few things that feel like they reflect your identity (both current and aspiring) and go all out. Even if you don't dress like anyone else, you'll dress like you and more likely than not, that level of comfort will evoke a sexy kind of confidence.
2. Gather top-notch basics first - Grab yourself a nice pair of jeans and a white t-shirt that fits just right. Do a good job on this and already, you'll look better than most people.
3. Those basics will take you a long way - Stepping up your style game isn't about volume, it's about quality. Unless you're going for a dandy look or something to that effect, your approach to fashion should be aligned with the owner of a minimalist Tiny House. Everything you buy, from basics to accessories, should be beautiful, functional, comfortable and long-lasting (e.g. quality).
4. A versatile blazer or good looking jacket will take you everywhere - Find one or two that look sharp and feel comfortable. You want something that's as easy to turn to as your favorite hoodie. Speaking of hoodies, grab a nice sweater or two.
5. Eliminate barriers - Everything you buy should be as easy as possible. For example, buy non-iron dress shirts. That way you don't have the "I don't have time to iron" excuse for not dressing up.
6. Shoes maketh the man - Someone once told me every good man needs two things. An excellent bed and an excellent pair of shoes. If you're not in one you're in the other. Get some good comfortable oxfords and a pair of nice leather low-top sneakers (think Common Projects) for the weekends. Keep them clean, unless you're specifically going for a worn look.
7. Nice workout clothes make a difference - Odds are, you'll go somewhere before or after the gym. Invest in nice workout clothes. I spent years wearing my college athletic gear to the gym and thought it made me an "authentic athlete." Really it just made me messy, and the second I started investing in good-looking athletic clothes I realized it makes a difference. My new gear made me realize I should invest thoughtfully and opt for quality in everything I do.
If you're interested in learning more and want to talk menswear, message me. I'm obsessed with men's fashion and have done some makeovers for friends. Not selling anything here, just happy to help a fellow person who wants to be better.