How do i make 1M friends who always respond to my messages within 1 min

16 points by user-on1 ↗ HN

20 comments

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you would need to be really famous.
One may argue that friends begotten through fame are not the sort of friends one wants.
hi @sharemywin, that's a good point. and i really mean friends and not fans.
Maybe the more fundamental question is “how do I make one million friends,” in which case the answer is “you can’t.”
Offer them only what will benefit them in the short and long term, be they words thoughts or deeds, and eventually people will lovingly rely on your language, words, and presence because you have been thinking so much of how to be of aid to them.
This is probably one of the weirdest questions I've seen on HN, but I'll bite anyways:

Without spoiling the plot of a certain film, you'd want to be an AI or augmented human capable of maintaining one million relationships simultaneously. Simple.

i don't think it has to be simultaneous, i made one friend 2 months back and din have much interaction till now and that person still connected with me wen i reached out...
The response time requirement is even easier if the friends are also AI.

Tom from Myspace probably has a shot.

A web based fire alert system can help. The system becomes responsive by broadcasting a Help message to the million friends if one of them raises an alarm.
You won't make 1M friends, but for any given much lower N number of friends, to get them to respond within 1 min, increase the signal-to-noise ratio of your messages, and message them infrequently.

Better yet, ask yourself: why do I need (or feel the need for) people to respond to my messages within 1 min? What is wrong with my outlook and time management?

Why 1M and not 1B? Why 1 minute and not 10 seconds?

Both sets of values seem unobtainable to the average "random Joe".

Perhaps you can divulge why you require such arbitrary values?

Since friendship is a mutual relationship and you also need to consider them friends, how are you going to go above your Dunbar's number? (see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number)

Also, I think given how little quality time you can give to each friend, you need to have very convincing qualities that may not be achieved by technology alone (if you're thinking about automation of relationship management).

Become a country-changing leader. Brazilian ex-president Lula has 100 milion friends (and other 100 milion enemies). Both sides would answer him in 1 minute.
Contact 1 million people and tell them you will transfer $1000 to them as long as they respond within one minute. Do a test. Probably 10% will respond so pay them the $100 billion. Repeat the exercise until you find 1 million reliable people probably after 10 tries or so. This will only cost you about $1 trillion.
$100 or even $50 or mabye even $10 might work too if you need to save on cost
If you a few hundred trillion friends and at least a million will respond in the first minute. Either that or you need to make friends with a million robots
Sounds like you were asked a ridiculous interview question.
build 1M bot and host them on aws. now, you have 1M bot friends. simple.