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What the hell is Snooki?
The only information I can provide is that she's some girl on a reality show called The Jersey Shore. I'm embarrassed to even know that much.
I found myself quite in Obama's situation a few months ago when I found myself asking "What in the hell is a Kardashian?"

Good on the President for not being arsed with this nonsense. I wish my brain's GC algo would remove all trace of memory of these creatures from my awareness.

Agreed. But a kardasian is a little better than a snook for those scoring at home.
Great post. My feeling went from "this guy needs to get out more" to "oh god that sounds exactly like me" in a few paragraphs.

Mah pa-al ka-el indeed.

Short version: "I'm so awesome, don't you know it! And plus plus!!!! I totally haz ever3lol on teh intertubezzz"