Not at all. In almost all cases, it's a self-maintained illusion that the people that call you cannot wait for a few minutes or hours to hear back from you.
Sure, it might be annoying to someone that they didn't get to talk to you, but rarely does it actually make a difference.
Text messaging wastes far less time, and leaves time for more interesting pursuits than trying to quickly, extemporaneously, condense the purpose of your call into the space allotted by voicemail.
Without my Droid, my conversations would consist of a lot more bookkeeping.
I prefer to treat text messaging like email, where I don't read it as soon as it is received. In fact, using Google Voice, my text messages ARE emails. People get used to and usually respect the fact that I have more important things to do that constantly reply to their queries.
Lately I've been forwarding people that leave me voicemails the Google Voice transcription along with my response. At first, a couple people took offense, but now they're asking me how to set that up for themselves.
This works great if you're in a job where they can afford to not get back to someone immediately. For people in a situation where they're really playing for the breaks (which is most young people trying to get established, and especially entrepreneurs), you can't afford to take more than a few hours to get back to people.
Unless you are saving lives (a doctor) or protecting the country (in defense), or maybe a few other edge cases, the perception that you need to get back to a person in a few hours is probably more on your end than on the recipient's.
Or need to fix your production servers which have suddenly crashed and every minute of downtime is costing you money and reputation. A category many people on HN probably fall into.
Bingo.... you aren't as important as your cellphone makes you feel.
I have my funky cool blackberry - but I leave it on "Phone only", and, because I rarely ever answer it, hardly anyone ever phones me. I also have no problem ignoring it if it rings and it's not a call I actually need to take - I know it'll go to voicemail. The key is not letting the phone dominate your life. It's really there so I can phone people when I need to, or so I can allow someone to reach me when I need them to - and nothing else.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to theaters because I kept forgetting to put in on vibrate.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to business meetings because I didn't want to be distracted by the vibrating.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to restaurants because I wanted the people I was with to think that no one was more important than them while we were together.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to my mother's because she outranks anyone who could possibly call.
Except for travel, I stopped carrying my cell phone altogether.
I'm not sure I would go the the extreme of no cellphone like some of OP's examples, but I'm getting closer.
Now, the only reason I have a cell phone instead of a land line is for travel and emergencies.
[Aside: I love the idea of a voice mail greeting that asks the caller to email me instead. But I won't do it. It just seems like a rude way to treat someone who bothered to call. I'll keep checking voice mail (sigh).]
There are a couple of voicemail transcription services available, or you can use Twilio. I suggest language like "For quickest response, please spell me your email address."
I've experienced some hilarious misses when receiving a non-english voicemail and having Google try to make sense of it. It's not so good with fast talkers either.
A year and a half ago, I had voice mail and kept missing things, since I didn't check it zealously enough. People would leave messages with the assumption that I'd listen to them. This assumption was incorrect.
I then switched to a voice mail message that asked the caller to email me, but I still kept missing things - perhaps your contacts would be more polite, but 80% of the people who called me would still leave messages on my voice mail.
I finally got rid of voice mail altogether about a year ago - if I don't pick up, people get the standard 'this voice mail inbox has not been set up' message. I no longer miss things, since people can't leave a message and therefore don't assume I'm on it - they go and find another way to get in touch with me instead.
There were complaints at first - from my girlfriend, from a couple of business associates. It took a couple of months for them to adapt to my new behavior. Now they text me.
I still remember the days before cellular phones. My dad even had one of those early car phones, it had an awesome speaker phone, but used it infrequently. As soon as he got a work cell phone the interruptions came.
I'm no luddite, but that doesn't mean I like cellular phones.
Absolutely. I managed to successfully evade cell phone ownership for years and it was dramatically empowering. It also made me develop a pretty strong distaste for our cultural addiction to instant communication.
In fact, it's become at least a small part of my definition of success. I am not a concierge. I do not await phone calls with the longing of a teenager on Friday night. My peace and leisure cannot be disturbed at random. And most importantly, my interactions with the people in my present can not rudely be put on pause for just any reason.
I have never had a call in my life that could not wait a few minutes. If you have many of those, I'd suggest that someone (not necessarily you) needs to revisit some aspect of their infrastructure design.
Sadly I was finally lured into the mobile masses by the prospect of smartphone application development. Though I am at least able to rationalize it with the thought that it's not so much a phone as it is a tiny personal computer that I can distract myself with whenever I want.
One could, but I think part of being a good app developer is understanding how people use the platform. Just like Boeing needs pilots, Ford needs drivers, etc.
Imagine trying to develop a web application if you only used a browser on your own development and production website (ie: that you otherwise "left it on your desk")
I moved to a new country one week ago and I thought that I would have needed a new sim card for my cellphone. To my surprise, after a week I still see no reason for having a cellphone with ne. I feel more free now and I'm not sure I'm going to use a cellphone anytime soon.
It's less about having/not having 'foo' and more about letting or not letting 'foo' dominate your life. In the case of cell phones 'foo' is the cellphone as well as all the people trying to contact you through it.
I never answer a call I don't recognize, I check the vmail afterwards. If they don't leave one, oh well guess they didn't need to talk to me that bad.
I often don't anser the phone when someone I know does call, I check the vmaili afterwards. If they don't leave one, oh well guess they didn't need to talk to me that bad. OTHOH if they call again right away I assume it's important and answer. There's a parable "Boy who cried Wolf" applicable to those who abuse this.
(smart)phone is external memory, camera, notebook, calendar, email, gps, some other stuff and a mostly outbound telephone.
It's less about having/not having 'foo' and more about letting or not letting 'foo' dominate your life. In the case of cell phones 'foo' is the cellphone as well as all the people trying to contact you through it.
I couldn't agree more. This problem appears to date back to landline phones, as well. Telemarketers can't interrupt one at dinner if on simply doesn't answer the phone.
Insisting on not having 'foo' at all times states that, at no time, will 'foo' be desireable, and that stretches credibility.
With effectively ubiquitous text messaging, which is asynchronous like email, the whole "operate on your time" argument falls apart.
20 percent plus in income for some occupations, such as fishing in some areas. That makes cell service probably the most effective poverty abatement program I can name.
"I used [something most people use] every minute of every day, but I decided to stop using [that something] alltogether and now I feel [free/empowered/at peace/intellectually stimulated/etc]."
You don't have to answer every single call. I carry my phone all the time but I don't answer calls from unknown numbers. A lot of times I don't answer calls from friends either. They know I'll get back to them when I feel like it. Nobody has ever gotten their feelings hurt because of it.
I used moderation every minute of every day, but I decided to stop using moderation altogether and now I feel immoderate.
Regarding cell phones, I haven't carried one for years, since I was a consultant, and it was necessary. People look at me like I am insane, and they cannot imagine how I function in modern society. I am called a Luddite, even though I am far more deeply and enthusiastically involved with technology than they ever will be.
Sometimes, trying to arrange spontaneous social gatherings, I wish I had one, but that is rare. I carry an iPad, which does mitigate, since I can exchange texts, and receive voicemail via Google Voice.
Primarily, though, I don't feel empowered, but I do feel that my deep indignation of other people's cell phone related rudeness is more pure if I don't carry one.
>The only person his habit seems to annoy is his wife. "She wants to do things on the fly. I'm of the mindset that we can avoid that just by planning. I say, 'Katy, I'll be home at 7 or 7:30,' and she says, 'Let's talk about it later.'"
I'm with his wife. Life's too short to script my time. Maybe when I'm his age I'll mellow out a bit, but until then I like texting a friend and grabbing a late-night bite to eat then doing something absurd.
For years I was conditioned to pick up the phone as soon as it rang. Growing older, I realized this to be the wrong approach. Today, most calls end up in my voicemail.
Lessons learned:
- Urgency is typically defined in terms of the calling party. In most cases, it dissolves into something that did not warrant my attention in the first place.
- Interruptions will take away from the task at hand and result in decreased personal productivity.
For years I was conditioned to pick up the phone as soon as it rang.
I'm extremely curious as to how this happened. I doubt I was conditioned, but I never felt the obligation to answer a ringing telephone. Perhaps this was a consequence of being a first-generation immigrant from a country without ubiquitous phones?
I used to be highly addicted to cell phones in the '90's.
In 2005 I spent a year working overseas. When I got back I just never got around to buying a new phone. I have to say, it has been extremely liberating.
So much so that we went one further - we don't answer our land-line either unless it's someone we know and we don't check voice mail.
I also don't wear a watch and go to sleep/get up whenever my body tells me to rather than stick to a strict schedule.
You can reach me via email, MSN, GoogleTalk, Skype or hey, knock on my door and say hello!
Pynchon's point seems to be that the Luddites were not opposed to technology for the reasons we commonly imagine: fear of change, fear of submission to the machine, fear of obsolescence.
Instead, Ned Lud (an historically obscure, possibly fictional character) was a Hero who stood up to and mocked the machinery of a ruling class. Machinery that, incidentally, put many human beings out of work.
Ludditism was more a sideshow act in an evolving campaign of class-warfare. But also a kind of myth.
Cell phones are interesting in this context because they're a double-edged sword. They are both liberating and totalitarian. To give up your cell phone is to avoid the demands of possible higher-ups, but also risk missing timely receipt of profitable information ("The stock market's crashing, sell quick!").
I disagree that it necessarily makes the world run on your time.
All it does, is make the default method of communication asynchronous and forces synchronous communication to be scheduled.
It doesn't "make the world run on your time", unless you're still using a phone to interrupt other people with unscheduled synchronous communication.
The responsible way to ditch the interruptions and improve focus is to shift your own communication to asynchronous methods and expectations as well.
I leave my phone on silent (no ring. no vibe.) unless I'm expecting a particular call. I think it's vastly less rude of me to make an unscheduled caller wait until I make time to answer a message than for that caller to have presumptuously attempted to interrupt my day with an unscheduled call or "emergency" email they demand an instant response to.
I have yet to work out a good way for actual emergency notifications to ring through. But until phones provide a good solution to that[1], I'll err on the side of being more productive every single day in exchange for running the risk of being 'out of contact' in the event of an actual emergency.
[1] I've tried setting my default ringer to dead air and setting a custom ringtone for my wife. But that doesn't let me easily flip the ringer back on for when I'm expecting a scheduled call. And I'd still like an email client that will let me set a custom alert rule based on contact. I'd rather not run a second email client to watch an 'emergency' mailbox.
Absolutely it doesn't make the world run on your time. Being contactable by mobile if your friends expect to be able to is basic politeness. I mean, if we're waiting for a train and one of our group is late and they call/pick up when we call them, we can make a plan, to wait for the next one or meet somewhere else. If not, I don't think it's reasonable to expect telepathy to work... We're gone.
Try http://www.awayfind.com for the email part. It's working brilliantly for me - it'll text, gchat etc. you based on rules you apply. It can also do a custom auto-responder based on similar rules.
People get freaked out(especially parents)( if I don't answer my cell or If I don't take calls.
I ask them to chill out, explain that there was a time before cell phones, when life on.
Their counter is the standard "what if there is an emergency?"
and My counter counter(I know redundant) is "haven't recieved one of those calls in all the years I've had my cell. So, Im not holding my breath".
If you are stinking rich or important and have an assistant, you don't need a cell phone because your assistant will have their cellphone and you can take it when you need it or have your assistant call someone.
I'm in shock!
Sorry, Charlie, I plan to keep mine.
If I can't find someplace, I need the maps on my phone or the ability to call someone. I can't just lean over to my driver and say "Take me there."
If my plans change, finding a pay phone is impossible. One time, my car ran out of gas. I was broke and couldn't buy any at the time. I thought it would go 3 more miles. So I started walking home and figured if I saw a payphone I would use it. I didn't want to impose on some store's line to call my wife. Would you believe that after passing 3 gas stations, 4 fast food places, and more along an entire strip, there wasn't a single payphone?
The "what about emergencies?" issue comes up quite a bit, I thought I'd share my perspective. Having been in a few actual life or death emergency situations in my personal life and formerly being a police dispatcher, I've been on both ends of this.
You don't need to be immediately reached by phone in these events unless you can actually do something about it. Calling 911 and attending to the emergency trumps calling me at unless I'm close enough to help, i.e. walking the dog, at the neighbor's house, etc. If I have to drive to get there, it's too far; call me after things have stabilized.
If it's a call to break bad news, the last thing you should be doing in the event of tragic news is hopping in a car a driving somewhere while you're an emotional wreck. Racing to the hospital in an attempt to get in "your last words" is dangerous and is not as fulfilling as you might hope. Live in such a way that you're at peace with everyone you care about and last words are not needed.
Also, in my own ability to cope with events, simply receiving news that someone died is the easiest. Being there and witnessing someone die is far harder (or visiting them every day in the hospital until they die...even if you aren't there when it happens), and the hardest for me was performing CPR on someone and the person dying anyways (it helped me to learn later from the autopsy that CPR was never going to help, but it's still traumatic to me in a way that the other events weren't).
In short, real emergencies happen too quickly for a call to non-emergency services to be of any help, worrying about those situations is a waste of your time, and it's possible if you're like me, that actually being there is worse than not being there. Business emergencies are a different beast though.
The way I see it, the "what about emergencies?" argument is not so much about someone in an emergency being able to reach you to ask for help or to inform you.
It's a matter of YOU having a phone to make an emergency call to 911 when/if you have the need.
Ahh, well I carry a cellphone, but tend not to answer it. Whenever I've had the conversation, it was always about being reached, not making the 911 call.
(Edit: I guess you're personal behavior will probably dictate which conversation you have, reach-ability vs. emergency services).
^ The biggest reason I still carry a phone. I've never once called 911 for myself, but if you find yourself somewhere there are no other phones or people with phones, it can be the single most effective life-saving device in the world.
Until two months ago, I had been cellphone-less for over a year. People around me knew this, and were often bothered by it, but most of them understood that it was my decision and that it didn't seriously impair me at working in the world. I was still very reachable by mail and MSN, as well as my home phone.
Knowing that I have absolute choice about when I'm reachable and that people know that I may not be reachable at some times was profoundly gratifying. What bothers me most about my cell phone is that people assume that I'll have it with me at all times, and that I'll pick it up if called. I haven't found a better way to kill this assumption than not having a phone.
As a sysadmin, this is why I pretty much always insist on an on-call rotation and escalation. Humans can't actually be available 24x7.
It's also not a foregone conclusion any more than a single cellphone has only one number. Google Voice has made call forwarding an inexpensive proposition.
The higher you are up the escalation pyramid, the more available you have to be (though you are hopefully bothered less often).
Of course humans can't be "always" available, but there can be a (self-imposed) obligation to be as available as possible. Personally, I turn my phone off in theaters and museums, and at weddings and funerals.
I've considered setting up multiple numbers, but haven't yet.
Everybody knows I carry a phone but they also know that I don't answer it if I can't or don't want to. I have no problem with letting someone go to voicemail if I can't or don't want to talk on the phone right then... me carrying around a device that allows me to be connected whenever I want doesn't obligate me to actually be connected at any particular point. If they need me urgently, they should leave a second voicemail or, preferably, send me a text.
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[ 3.2 ms ] story [ 173 ms ] threadSure, it might be annoying to someone that they didn't get to talk to you, but rarely does it actually make a difference.
Without my Droid, my conversations would consist of a lot more bookkeeping.
I have my funky cool blackberry - but I leave it on "Phone only", and, because I rarely ever answer it, hardly anyone ever phones me. I also have no problem ignoring it if it rings and it's not a call I actually need to take - I know it'll go to voicemail. The key is not letting the phone dominate your life. It's really there so I can phone people when I need to, or so I can allow someone to reach me when I need them to - and nothing else.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to business meetings because I didn't want to be distracted by the vibrating.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to restaurants because I wanted the people I was with to think that no one was more important than them while we were together.
I stopped carrying my cell phone to my mother's because she outranks anyone who could possibly call.
Except for travel, I stopped carrying my cell phone altogether.
I'm not sure I would go the the extreme of no cellphone like some of OP's examples, but I'm getting closer.
Now, the only reason I have a cell phone instead of a land line is for travel and emergencies.
[Aside: I love the idea of a voice mail greeting that asks the caller to email me instead. But I won't do it. It just seems like a rude way to treat someone who bothered to call. I'll keep checking voice mail (sigh).]
I then switched to a voice mail message that asked the caller to email me, but I still kept missing things - perhaps your contacts would be more polite, but 80% of the people who called me would still leave messages on my voice mail.
I finally got rid of voice mail altogether about a year ago - if I don't pick up, people get the standard 'this voice mail inbox has not been set up' message. I no longer miss things, since people can't leave a message and therefore don't assume I'm on it - they go and find another way to get in touch with me instead.
There were complaints at first - from my girlfriend, from a couple of business associates. It took a couple of months for them to adapt to my new behavior. Now they text me.
I'm no luddite, but that doesn't mean I like cellular phones.
In fact, it's become at least a small part of my definition of success. I am not a concierge. I do not await phone calls with the longing of a teenager on Friday night. My peace and leisure cannot be disturbed at random. And most importantly, my interactions with the people in my present can not rudely be put on pause for just any reason.
I have never had a call in my life that could not wait a few minutes. If you have many of those, I'd suggest that someone (not necessarily you) needs to revisit some aspect of their infrastructure design.
Sadly I was finally lured into the mobile masses by the prospect of smartphone application development. Though I am at least able to rationalize it with the thought that it's not so much a phone as it is a tiny personal computer that I can distract myself with whenever I want.
Imagine trying to develop a web application if you only used a browser on your own development and production website (ie: that you otherwise "left it on your desk")
I never answer a call I don't recognize, I check the vmail afterwards. If they don't leave one, oh well guess they didn't need to talk to me that bad.
I often don't anser the phone when someone I know does call, I check the vmaili afterwards. If they don't leave one, oh well guess they didn't need to talk to me that bad. OTHOH if they call again right away I assume it's important and answer. There's a parable "Boy who cried Wolf" applicable to those who abuse this.
(smart)phone is external memory, camera, notebook, calendar, email, gps, some other stuff and a mostly outbound telephone.
It's massively useful, it has an off switch.
I couldn't agree more. This problem appears to date back to landline phones, as well. Telemarketers can't interrupt one at dinner if on simply doesn't answer the phone.
Insisting on not having 'foo' at all times states that, at no time, will 'foo' be desireable, and that stretches credibility.
With effectively ubiquitous text messaging, which is asynchronous like email, the whole "operate on your time" argument falls apart.
It still amazes me as how much improvement the mobile phone has brought to the low income workers in third world countries!
"I used [something most people use] every minute of every day, but I decided to stop using [that something] alltogether and now I feel [free/empowered/at peace/intellectually stimulated/etc]."
What about moderation?
Regarding cell phones, I haven't carried one for years, since I was a consultant, and it was necessary. People look at me like I am insane, and they cannot imagine how I function in modern society. I am called a Luddite, even though I am far more deeply and enthusiastically involved with technology than they ever will be.
Sometimes, trying to arrange spontaneous social gatherings, I wish I had one, but that is rare. I carry an iPad, which does mitigate, since I can exchange texts, and receive voicemail via Google Voice.
Primarily, though, I don't feel empowered, but I do feel that my deep indignation of other people's cell phone related rudeness is more pure if I don't carry one.
Edit: typos.
I'm with his wife. Life's too short to script my time. Maybe when I'm his age I'll mellow out a bit, but until then I like texting a friend and grabbing a late-night bite to eat then doing something absurd.
Lessons learned:
- Urgency is typically defined in terms of the calling party. In most cases, it dissolves into something that did not warrant my attention in the first place.
- Interruptions will take away from the task at hand and result in decreased personal productivity.
I'm extremely curious as to how this happened. I doubt I was conditioned, but I never felt the obligation to answer a ringing telephone. Perhaps this was a consequence of being a first-generation immigrant from a country without ubiquitous phones?
In 2005 I spent a year working overseas. When I got back I just never got around to buying a new phone. I have to say, it has been extremely liberating.
So much so that we went one further - we don't answer our land-line either unless it's someone we know and we don't check voice mail.
I also don't wear a watch and go to sleep/get up whenever my body tells me to rather than stick to a strict schedule.
You can reach me via email, MSN, GoogleTalk, Skype or hey, knock on my door and say hello!
In fact I have a data plan that has no call minutes. If I want to make a call, I can buy a prepaid card or call from other phone.
This reminds me of an essay by Thomas Pynchon: "Is it OK to be a Luddite." Possibly posted to HN recently.
http://www.themodernword.com/pynchon/pynchon_essays_luddite....
Pynchon's point seems to be that the Luddites were not opposed to technology for the reasons we commonly imagine: fear of change, fear of submission to the machine, fear of obsolescence.
Instead, Ned Lud (an historically obscure, possibly fictional character) was a Hero who stood up to and mocked the machinery of a ruling class. Machinery that, incidentally, put many human beings out of work.
Ludditism was more a sideshow act in an evolving campaign of class-warfare. But also a kind of myth.
Cell phones are interesting in this context because they're a double-edged sword. They are both liberating and totalitarian. To give up your cell phone is to avoid the demands of possible higher-ups, but also risk missing timely receipt of profitable information ("The stock market's crashing, sell quick!").
All it does, is make the default method of communication asynchronous and forces synchronous communication to be scheduled.
It doesn't "make the world run on your time", unless you're still using a phone to interrupt other people with unscheduled synchronous communication.
The responsible way to ditch the interruptions and improve focus is to shift your own communication to asynchronous methods and expectations as well.
I leave my phone on silent (no ring. no vibe.) unless I'm expecting a particular call. I think it's vastly less rude of me to make an unscheduled caller wait until I make time to answer a message than for that caller to have presumptuously attempted to interrupt my day with an unscheduled call or "emergency" email they demand an instant response to.
I have yet to work out a good way for actual emergency notifications to ring through. But until phones provide a good solution to that[1], I'll err on the side of being more productive every single day in exchange for running the risk of being 'out of contact' in the event of an actual emergency.
[1] I've tried setting my default ringer to dead air and setting a custom ringtone for my wife. But that doesn't let me easily flip the ringer back on for when I'm expecting a scheduled call. And I'd still like an email client that will let me set a custom alert rule based on contact. I'd rather not run a second email client to watch an 'emergency' mailbox.
"Meeting up" is precisely the kind of time when I have my phone set to ring.
It's silent during my normal daily routine or when I'm with all the people I planned to be with. (out of respect for our time together)
I ask them to chill out, explain that there was a time before cell phones, when life on.
Their counter is the standard "what if there is an emergency?" and My counter counter(I know redundant) is "haven't recieved one of those calls in all the years I've had my cell. So, Im not holding my breath".
If you are stinking rich or important and have an assistant, you don't need a cell phone because your assistant will have their cellphone and you can take it when you need it or have your assistant call someone.
I'm in shock!
Sorry, Charlie, I plan to keep mine.
If I can't find someplace, I need the maps on my phone or the ability to call someone. I can't just lean over to my driver and say "Take me there."
If my plans change, finding a pay phone is impossible. One time, my car ran out of gas. I was broke and couldn't buy any at the time. I thought it would go 3 more miles. So I started walking home and figured if I saw a payphone I would use it. I didn't want to impose on some store's line to call my wife. Would you believe that after passing 3 gas stations, 4 fast food places, and more along an entire strip, there wasn't a single payphone?
You don't need to be immediately reached by phone in these events unless you can actually do something about it. Calling 911 and attending to the emergency trumps calling me at unless I'm close enough to help, i.e. walking the dog, at the neighbor's house, etc. If I have to drive to get there, it's too far; call me after things have stabilized.
If it's a call to break bad news, the last thing you should be doing in the event of tragic news is hopping in a car a driving somewhere while you're an emotional wreck. Racing to the hospital in an attempt to get in "your last words" is dangerous and is not as fulfilling as you might hope. Live in such a way that you're at peace with everyone you care about and last words are not needed.
Also, in my own ability to cope with events, simply receiving news that someone died is the easiest. Being there and witnessing someone die is far harder (or visiting them every day in the hospital until they die...even if you aren't there when it happens), and the hardest for me was performing CPR on someone and the person dying anyways (it helped me to learn later from the autopsy that CPR was never going to help, but it's still traumatic to me in a way that the other events weren't).
In short, real emergencies happen too quickly for a call to non-emergency services to be of any help, worrying about those situations is a waste of your time, and it's possible if you're like me, that actually being there is worse than not being there. Business emergencies are a different beast though.
It's a matter of YOU having a phone to make an emergency call to 911 when/if you have the need.
(Edit: I guess you're personal behavior will probably dictate which conversation you have, reach-ability vs. emergency services).
And once I'm available 24/7 for work, I become available for anyone else that has that number.
As a sysadmin, this is why I pretty much always insist on an on-call rotation and escalation. Humans can't actually be available 24x7.
It's also not a foregone conclusion any more than a single cellphone has only one number. Google Voice has made call forwarding an inexpensive proposition.
Of course humans can't be "always" available, but there can be a (self-imposed) obligation to be as available as possible. Personally, I turn my phone off in theaters and museums, and at weddings and funerals.
I've considered setting up multiple numbers, but haven't yet.
Unimpose. That's all there is to the liberation promised by not carrying a cellphone.