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Tell HN: What I should have noticed

5 points by ThrowawayPQ ↗ HN
Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I should have paid more attention to how much my daughter was afraid of her aunt.

I should have wondered about the abrupt change in my daughter's behavior and personality, rather than just wondering how to deal with it.

I should have noticed how the aunt manipulated us to manufacture situations where she would be alone with my daughter.

I was too busy trying to survive day-to-day life, and hoping to have some time and energy left over for things I wanted to do. I didn't see the warning signs. I wish I had.

6 comments

[ 3.3 ms ] story [ 29.7 ms ] thread
fefb
I am sorry. I dont know what to say to help you. We cant go to back and make a new beginning, but we can start to do now a new end. And get justice.

I desire good energy for you and your family, and give a chance to forgive yourself. The bad in this world is not a cross that you should carry alone.

is_true
Don't blame yourself.

You are obviously not the one that did something wrong.

greenyoda
Many things that are obvious to us in retrospect are not at all obvious when they're happening. You can't spend the rest of your life blaming yourself for not realizing what was going on.
smt88
Being able to prevent something doesn't make you responsible for it, especially if you had no idea you could prevent it.

Also, you sound like you're in a lot of pain. HN isn't a great support venue. I'd suggest posting on an appropriate, supportive subreddit or forum to start and (as soon as possible) seeking help from a professional. It sounds like your daughter needs physical and emotional care, and you need emotional support.

Good luck and remember that you aren't responsible for someone else's harmful behavior.

pravula
Its not your fault. Humans by default are trusting creatures.
cryptozeus
don't play hindsight game, hopefully its not too late for you and you can start again