"Colonel Cargill was so awful a marketing executive that his services were much sought after by firms eager to establish losses for tax purposes. His prices were high, for failure often did not come easily. He had to start at the top and work his way down, and with sympathetic friends in Washington, losing money was no simple matter. It took months of hard work and careful misplanning. A person misplaced, disorganized, miscalculated, overlooked everything and open every loophole, and just when he thought he had it made, the government gave him a lake or a forest or an oilfield and spoiled everything. Even with such handicaps, Colonel Cargill could be relied on to run the most prosperous enterprise into the ground. He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody." -Joseph Heller, Catch-22
I always enjoy seeing character archetypes from Catch-22 in the flesh.
I sense strong elements of Milo Minderbinder in there too -
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“If they had any loyalty, they would buy my cotton till it hurts so that they can keep right on buying my cotton till it hurts them some more. They would build fires and burn up their underwear and summer uniforms just to create a bigger demand. But they won’t do a thing. Yossarian, try eating the rest of this chocolate-covered cotton for me. Maybe it will taste delicious now.”
Yossarian pushed his hand away. “Give up, Milo. People can’t eat cotton.”
Milo’s face narrowed cunningly. “It isn’t really cotton,” he coaxed. “I was joking. It’s really cotton candy, delicious cotton candy. Try it and see.”
“Now you’re lying.”
“I never lie!” Milo rejoindered with proud dignity.
“You’re lying now.”
“I only lie when it’s necessary,” Milo explained defensively, averting his eyes for a moment and blinking his lashes winningly. “This stuff is better than cotton candy, really it is. It’s made out of real cotton. Yossarian, you’ve got to help me make the men eat it. Egyptian cotton is the finest cotton in the world.”
“But it’s indigestible,” Yossarian emphasized. “It will make them sick, don’t you understand? Why don’t you try living on it yourself if you don’t believe me.”
“I did try,” admitted Milo gloomily. “And it made me sick.”
It's possible his job at Toys R Us was to run it into the ground. It had been loaded up with so much debt that extracting all the remaining value and going bankrupt might have been the actual plan.
> The Friday before I started, my wife, my assistant, and I came in after everybody left and worked all weekend. We ripped everything off the walls, painted, cleaned the carpet, emptied cupboards, put new art on the walls...
Based on that plaque, I bet the new art was just splendid and people really appreciated it.
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[ 3.1 ms ] story [ 33.9 ms ] threadI always enjoy seeing character archetypes from Catch-22 in the flesh.
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“If they had any loyalty, they would buy my cotton till it hurts so that they can keep right on buying my cotton till it hurts them some more. They would build fires and burn up their underwear and summer uniforms just to create a bigger demand. But they won’t do a thing. Yossarian, try eating the rest of this chocolate-covered cotton for me. Maybe it will taste delicious now.”
Yossarian pushed his hand away. “Give up, Milo. People can’t eat cotton.”
Milo’s face narrowed cunningly. “It isn’t really cotton,” he coaxed. “I was joking. It’s really cotton candy, delicious cotton candy. Try it and see.”
“Now you’re lying.”
“I never lie!” Milo rejoindered with proud dignity.
“You’re lying now.”
“I only lie when it’s necessary,” Milo explained defensively, averting his eyes for a moment and blinking his lashes winningly. “This stuff is better than cotton candy, really it is. It’s made out of real cotton. Yossarian, you’ve got to help me make the men eat it. Egyptian cotton is the finest cotton in the world.”
“But it’s indigestible,” Yossarian emphasized. “It will make them sick, don’t you understand? Why don’t you try living on it yourself if you don’t believe me.”
“I did try,” admitted Milo gloomily. “And it made me sick.”
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/anything
Or something.
Based on that plaque, I bet the new art was just splendid and people really appreciated it.