Ask HN: Have you lived abroad for an extended period of time? Was it valuable?

I presume that HN being more USA-centric makes the question interesting; but I feel that if you ask people in most other regions, the answer would be "obviously yes".

It defined my life in many ways, not least of which marrying a woman from Italy!

I can't recommend it enough - it gives you a much broader perspective on the world.

It was valuable in that I formed lifelong friendships. A few others had also done the same and being in this unique boat --- no language skills, first time in China, first job ever --- formed really tight bonds.

I also learned enough Mandarin that I can comfortably roam China on my own, even 6 years later, when I went for two weeks this January.

Oh, and this is how I got into building software as well. We built our own ERP system for manufacturing audits.

It was a super valuable experience overall and in many ways I came back to the US with a newfound appreciation for this country.

If I could do it over again I'd go somewhere way more outside my comfort zone (non-English speaking). Probably Japan or Korea.

My wife has done the opposite and spent most of her 20s as a backpacker/work&travel. She wants to go travelling again but my job & financial situation just make it not possible to make the jump. Are there any other parents with long-term travel experience?

Weather sucks as bad as I had imagined (but this year's being amazing so far)

Food was a nice surprise - way better than planned.

Cost of living is actually lower, opposite of what I thought.

People.... many are much warmer and friendlier than I was preparing for. Very nice surprise there too. Language may be harsh and many have this perma-grumpy air about them, but when they wish you a good morning you can see in their eyes that they actually mean it.

My personal 2 cents is, think about your motivations. Don't do that just because of a calculation.

I've written a bit about it here:

https://jacquesmattheij.com/a-western-kid-living-in-communis...

Later followed by a 5 year stint in Canada that I've yet to really write about and another 2 years in Bucharest, Romania.

Original base is NL.

What's been good/bad about it could fill a book, and it changed my perspective on life in so many ways that each and every day it still surprises me.

For one thing: in every country people take stuff for granted that elsewhere is hard to impossible to achieve or come by. Those things are simply 'normal' and nobody thinks twice of it. And elsewhere in the world people are dying or hardly able to function for lack of those 'normal' things.

Remember this whenever you turn on the light, up the heat, open a tap and clean water comes out or go out to vote on election day.

As background I’ve already traveled quite a bit with 15 countries and 45 states so I knew a little what I was getting into.

I generally have loved to travel, but this 6mo period has actually made me find some limits and has been pretty tough. I really found some things that make me very uncomfortable culturally and realized I can’t live anywhere I want like I thought I could. I’ve ad some not as good experience here due to several factors, but I’d do it again even knowing that. You really find your limits and the world opens up a lot more. One of the major things for me is even though you can make friends anywhere, if I lived abroad longer I’d have to go where I know at least a friend or 2 already to help me establish roots there. Friends really make or break wherever you are.

I think the most valuable aspect has simply been experiences and viewpoints that serve as counterexamples when I am thinking about how society is organized.

I feel like I haven't assimilated as much as I should but! to answer your question: it was/is very valuable, to see how other peoples approach life, to see subtle differences between how people handle things commonly- you pick up life tips that make being human a little easier. Simple things that are obvious in retrospect.

However, I'm not sure what the alternative would have been if I had stayed in London.. Without a frame of reference it's hard to know if it's was /more/ valuable than the alternative.

Positive side effect: I now understand Trainspotting without subtitles, which did it not before :)

Good: Cheaper cost of living, meeting people from all over the world, observing/learning the ways of people and cultural feedback loops.

Bad: always takes some adjusting to, esp language.

Hasn't really changed my perspective of various parts of life, even through the differences, people don't really behave imaginably different esp wrt most going along with the status quo of their local environments.

Valuable? We all have different functions for evaluation of such when it comes to anything in our lives.

Note: "farther" is not just geographical notion, cultural distance might be a lot more overhelming. Think

https://geerthofstede.com/culture-geert-hofstede-gert-jan-ho...

https://www.hofstede-insights.com/product/compare-countries/

(Where to and from : .bg .au/3.5yr .bg/10yr .au/3m .bg/+, with few 1-3month stays in other places in asia/europe)

And beware, after staying 3-4+years elsewhere it seems difficult to move back. Some psychological frontier i guess.. YMMV.

have fun

One example was to see different ways universities operate in respect to undergraduate students, for example the amount of socializing they are, incidentally or on purpose, forced into. The differences in prestige boils down not to the level of teaching, but to opportunities students are given, becoming a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

Living in another country means that sooner or later one will crash into beaurocracy and the health system, which works differently everywhere, giving appreciation to things that one might have hated before.

And finally, there's the pure "feel" of the place. Admittedly, it's possible to live in places with different "feels" without going abroad, and get most of the variation, but it's even more pronounced when the demographics, general approach to the world, weather or legislation are different.

In the very least, moving around helped me understand what is important to lead a happy life. Totally valuable.

The week that I landed my sedentary life ended. I don't think it was necessarily the location (although the Seattliltes' active lifestyles are certainly inspiring) but rather an excuse to grow. This has had the expected knock-on effects, especially in terms of clarity of mind and mood. The important things just work here - I want to deal with 1st world problems (equality, rights, etc.) and not what I used to deal with ("gee there have been many violent crimes in my neighborhood lately").

The bad has been friends. School and college are the best opportunities to make friends and it's tough once you leave. I've been trying meetup.com, but it's slow progress.

If you're on the fence, I say go for it! Put yourself in the mindset of growth and make it happen when you land.

And I'm not an "adventurer" in the normal sense at all. Just a computer dork who wanted to try different things. I actually hadn't ridden a bicycle in a decade prior to the moment I booked a guesthouse in Krakow that just happened to be right next to a bike shop and I took it to be a sign. (I'd been salivating over other people's bike touring blogs for a year or two but thinking I'm nowhere near "adventurer" enough to do something like that).

Did it change my life? No, not really. I'm back in software at US big corp and raising two ordinary kids in a house bigger than I need and griping about taxes. I'm also the oldest person I know at my level at work (age 42 at level 64 msft).

Would I rather be at a higher level at work and miss out on those experiences though? Not a chance. Do I wish I hadn't come back? Oh sometimes, but oh well. Honestly being on the road is not all rainbows and unicorns either. There are plenty of days you're sitting around wondering why you're there in some guesthouse doing nothing and not back home "changing the world through technology" or something.

I mean, it's a privilege. You're presumably above average IQ and born into a wealthy country to less than horrible parents. It's not an opportunity most have. But, we all live a few years and then die. So it's a bit of whatever. Just try to spend some time doing what you enjoy. Don't die wishing you had.

Some random person once told me when I was young, "the purpose of life is to make memories". I still haven't found anything wrong with that statement.

It is of utmost importance that you do this at least once because it will show you the things you considered constant but aren't. And after having that experience you might be more open to understanding other situations.

Every place has its nuances. In Berlin if you walk on the sidewalk and 4 people are walking abreast toward you they will not make way for you. On whatever side you are walking the person closest to you will do a half turn and it’s expected you do the same.

I met a German in Turkey once who lived in a village for 20 years. He said he will always be an outsider there. Depending on where you go you may not ever feel part of the society.

That was the experience of a lifetime: total immersion in a foreign culture while having a serious duty to accomplish, plus a complete lack of Japanese language or culture. Luckily, in my previous Tokyo stint the PSX OS team met a series of game developers from various game companies around the world - a PSX preview series of meetings, where the Sony team saw first hand some of the odd personalities (goth / 90's super geek) the game industry had. So I, being a fairly normal dude, was given a lot of latitude with my lack of Japanese manners.

Overall, the perspective I gained was a great foundation for confidence to pursue my dreams. There is so much human activity, practically anything one wants to do can be found if one is willing to leave your culture for one pursuing that dream without the American infrastructure we take for granted.