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This post is a little reflection on this anecdote: But each time we met she politely told me I was an idiot and my engineering department was even dumber. It took two meetings before we understood that our database schema didn’t include “householding” and without this feature was she could never buy our system. (Householding means recognizing that two or more people at the same physical address live together). That's all folks.
Wait, so you mean you have to actually understand your customers' needs to know what the minimum feature set is?

Shocking!

Yes, but one good point here is that showing them something is very useful. By making them answer the question, "what problem do you have that this doesn't solve" they found the minimum they needed to add.

Conversation goes best when it is two-way—of course you need to listen and understand your customers' needs, but often they don't know them themselves and need you to suggest things so they can realise what they actually need.

Or, to quote Justice Stewart, "I know it when I see it."