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I posted this here as I ran into it in my research for a Quora post and I thought it would be interesting to the HN audience. Would be happy to discuss with anyone else who loves this stuff as much as I do.
A simple place to start is determine who the original audience is for each of the gospels. When you have an understanding of what each of the audiences is, you can then understand why certain things are written the way they are.

For example, if we look at the book of Matthew, there are very strong indicators that it was written to the Jewish believers and community. Whereas, the book of Luke is written to a Roman.

Because there are different audiences, events will be told in a different way. The reasons for and the purposes for which each event is told will depend on what will be important to the audience.

If we look at the book of John, it becomes clear that it is written to combat various heresies that were arising about the nature of Jesus Christ, who He was and why He came. The author is clearly elucidating those particular areas.

The other thing is that no two people will ever recount the same version of an event. There will be particular emphases that each will see and remember.

As an aside, I find it interesting to see what people of that time, who were not of the believers and especially those who were enemies, say about various events recounted.

That's an approach I hadn't thought of, thanks!
I have a friend who is Assyrian (from Iraq) and he has an middle eastern outlook on both the old and new testaments. There are areas where we disagree, but what has been very helpful is the insight he has gained over sixty years as a theologian and his awareness of the historical context of those times.

He has been instrumental in helping me to look at the audience perspectives of the various books of the new testament and from that gaining an understanding as to why the books have been written in specific ways.

One of the interesting aspects of the gospels deals with the resurrection and the interaction with the women in the garden. From an audience perspective, since the word of a woman was not considered reliable compared to that of a man, to have the events told from a woman's perspective meant that the event had taken place as described and was considered factual and verified as far as the male mindset was concerned.

It is things like this that give a more detailed insight into why things were written the way they were.

How fascinating! I'll have to keep that in mind too if and when I get that deep.