Ask HN: I got my dream job and now I'm depressed
I applied once straight out of college but didn't make it through the interviews - so I worked somewhere else, building up my skills and eventually re-applying a couple of years later. They accepted me! I could not have been more excited, this company was everything I had wanted.
Except now I'm here. A lot of stuff is a mess. There is technical debt everywhere. Undocumented code bases that haven't been touched in years and maddening internal processes. I'm absolutely depressed as a result because I held this company on such a pedalstool only to find the inside rotting away. I have no sense of ownership of my work and I'm struggling with motivation.
I don't know what to do and so I am looking for advice. Is this just life and I should just man up and get on with it or should I accept my mistake and look for something else?
7 comments
[ 5.0 ms ] story [ 23.2 ms ] threadIf the place is a mess that might mean there's an opportunity for you to shine. I would take it as a challenge and try to push the bar higher.
Here’s some advice / observations from someone with a few miles on the clock:
The fact that you can see lots of areas for improvement is promising! It means you’re a good engineer! But remember that coding at a large organisation is a social activity, so seek mentors, suggest changes (and listen to feedback) and always leave the code in a state better than you found it.
If everybody does that the heath of the codebase will improve.
It may feel overwhelming the sheer amount of fixes that seem to be required, but remember that it’s not your responsibility to fix everything, and “how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time”
If you’re suffering depression that’s not purely job dissatisfaction go get some help.
Also personal hobbies to keep some variation - coding or non-coding, you need a break
Good luck on your journey!
We tend to think of our life in terms of; when only I get X then my life will be complete. Guess what. It won't. You will still be the same person - only with X. That job/car/spouse/house you put on a pedestal comes with a lot of issues as well.
It is absolutely okay to realize that the dream job perhaps wasn't so. Perhaps somewhere else is a better fit. You should not be afraid to change. It is only if you keep changing jobs to find out that everything there is not as expected - then perhaps you should look in the mirror for the common denominator.
You don't need motivation, just discipline to build habits... it's non consequential whether or not you will ( eventually ) change jobs, everywhere will be a challenge if you lean on motivation.