Ask HN: How to get “unstuck”?

I have been looking for work in the Bay area all this year. I've applied to companies big and small, flown out several times for interviews, and so far I had one offer at a small startup at the beginning of my search (during the brief time I could afford to stay in SF). Unfortunately I didn't jump on it and by the time I followed up they had hired someone else. The companies that flew me out were bigger and seemed to be interviewing like crazy, but maybe not hiring like crazy. I was usually the oldest person in the room (almost 40) for all of the interviews. I'm not sure if it's an age thing or if I was just unlucky with the interviews that I had, but having a job search going on more than half a year, it's hard to stay positive.

It seems like with my unusual background (self-taught, a lot of time overseas, no big names on my resume) and not knowing anyone in the area, blasting out applications isn't working, and I have much better luck meeting people in person, but I can't afford to stay in SF while I look.

Currently, I'm living with family, in a "flyover state." (Sorry for the vague details, but I'm obviously trying to keep this anonymous.) I really don't know how to break through. I know there is supposed to be a talent shortage but I also know the best jobs aren't advertised. At this point I'm afraid my best (only) option is getting a job in a Starbucks here, and save up until I can relocate and get a similar job in SF, and then start meeting people and interviewing locally.

I guess I'm just looking for some alternative ways of looking at the situation, or anyone who has been in a similar situation, or general advice on getting hired in SF with a non-traditional background, or anything else I might be doing wrong or not seeing.

Thanks, HN.