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>For a man who’s been painfully beaten

>Take cudweed and boil it in fine ale, and drink it first thing in the morning and last thing at night; and make the patient a bed in a pile of steaming horse dung, and lay him in it.

Sleeping in a pile of horse sh*t... I don't see any hygenic problem with that, let alone the smell...

If you smell like sh*t, people will not come near you, and hence this keeps possible human infectious diseases away.
Assuming that there are no infectious pathogens in sh*t, which is laughably wrong.
London, and other towns and cities, had a bit of a shit problem in the 1300s. Streets full of horse and human shit, households throwing their waste into the streets and/or river or if lucky selling it to a nearby cloth dyer, water dangerous to drink so best stick to beer or wine, the serious health risk from floors covered in rushes. OK, if you were posh enough there was a chute from the privvy straight into the moat or river. Oh and the river was where the leftovers from the slaughter houses went.

I think it's fair to say that smell and hygiene expectation was a little different in the middle ages. Cured, if wealthy enough, with a pomander - a ball full of nicely smelly herbs and oils that you carried as portable gas mask.

Compared to all the rest, horse manure would be almost nice. It's not that far from just grass, anyway.
Unlike that of most other animals, I don't think horse manure is an intrinsically unpleasant smell. It doesn't bother me.
I see, it's yet another marketing campaign by Big Shit.
He’ll forget he got a beating though, so consider this a medieval painkiller with severe side-effects (1).

(1) side-effects may include nausea, vomiting and loss of sense of smell

Seems to be a lot of horse dung involved.
Well, it's probably warm and soft?
Unless you have a lot of horses crapping in the same place at the same time it's going to be cold.
You mean, like in a stable or a barn?
It will start to compost and get warm. Think of a smelly heat pad.
It's free, and if your 'cure' doesn't work you can imply the person didn't try hard enough.

Same reason why most 'magic potions' include hard to achieve steps (steal church parchments, estract the liver of a dog, etc.).

>steal church parchments, extract the liver of a dog

How are these "hard to achieve"?

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Big and heavy - requires anatomic knowledge (you know there was no Wikipedia showing exactly where that dog carries it’s liver)...
You don't need academic knowledge of anatomy if you grow up in a culture (that of medieval peasants) where hunting, cleaning, and cooking animals was likely common. Much can be inferred from analogy, in the way the non-human dissections were (and still are) used for training surgeons.
Many assumptions about the knowledge of the persons who shall apply the guidelines - but might be right.
Probably in the same place as a sheep or a pig. A butcher would have no problem finding it. ;)
Probably. Clearly if you happen to have a butcher at hand to get you the liver. Not sure if nowadays you could just bring a random dig to a butcher and ket him extract the liver for you - might be hygienic standards preventing to do it. Earlier might be the belief that dogs are dirty etc. but i don’t know...
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It is not that dumb. Eating camel dung for example helps with serious stomach infections, its old and well known Bedouin trick (tested by Wehrmacht soldiers in Africa during WWII).

Apart from parasites and bacteria shit could be beneficial in theory - as its full of minerals and could help to regenerate skin etc.

Humans are one of the only animals that don’t eat poop. The benefits of poo exposure is an increased diversity of gut bacteria and biome, which we are just starting to understand the benefits of.

This is one big benefit of having a dog.

Given the hygiene standards in the middle ages, humans were very much exposed to poop of all kind of sources, so I doubt that additional exposure would be of any benefit.
> This is one big benefit of having a dog.

You get to eat its poop?

It eats it's own poop and then licks your mouth, or your fingers which you then eat with.
> If you doubt this’ll work, test it on a dog which is completely red.

This really confuses me. Why does the dog need to be red? Also, if someone ever tested it, it should be obvious to not work...

Maybe an old phrase meaning "rabid dog" or "raged dog". Rabies was probably orders of magnitude more common of an occurrence back then (which is non-existent in most Western countries right now).
Presumably you would then test the theory.

You'd have to attach the parchment with the words to the rabid dog.... then attack the rabid dog with a sword, gun or any other weapon.

This seems inadvisable ;)

Think like a process control engineer. Roll the parchment around an arrow or bolt and shoot the dog with it and you've just removed a step.

At "across the street" range it shouldn't affect accuracy very much

I like that idea.

Should also eventual test to see if parchment attachment time matter, penmanship on the words, etc.

Gonna need a lot of parchment, rabid dogs... swords, etc.

I know at least in Shakespeare's day (and I would presume also in middle ages) gold was considered to be a shade of red, so Golden Retrievers would also have to watch their back.
Rabies isn't that uncommon in the US - uncommon in domestic animals, sure, but I shot a likely rabid skunk a couple of weeks ago. It was out during the day, was walking at an angle, and was aggressive toward me.
That's actually completely correct, I don't know how I missed that when I wrote my comment. I've never seen a rabid animal, but I know that in the US, squirrels and bats are still a significant vector of rabies virus. It's probably not a good idea to play around with wild mammals.

EDIT: From Wikipedia:

> In wild animals, bats were the most frequently reported rabid species (30.9% of cases during 2015), followed by raccoons (29.4%), skunks (24.8%), and foxes (5.9%)[29].

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prevalence_of_rabies#USA

Apropos of nothing, several Southeastern states are currently releasing rabies vaccine in food packets to cut down on the incidence in raccoons and other wild animals.
I had a racoon walk right through my open front door that was likely rabid. Looked like he was drunk and staggering, aggressive but not quite there. Ended up chasing it back outside with a piece of copper pipe since it was blocking the way to my varmint rifle.
The reference to a Red Dog is likely to refer to the saying "seeing red", so yes a rabid animal can probably also be inferred just like Stags shed the velvet from their antlers exposing the bloodied red antlers at the start of the rutting season (a violent act to win over females) as seen here. https://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/article-6206553/Stunning... Overall a red dog is almost likely to mean a dog that is angry for some reason.
It is probably hard to find a dog that is completely red, so there is no way to verify the cure beforehand. People must have thought the cure was rubbish even in medieval times.
And as the cure involves a bone moving upstream it's probably a "safe" recipe.. very difficult to actually test it.
I read somewhere here on HN that medieval colors weren't precisely accurate. I wonder if red also meant brown or reddish-brown and dogs like the Rhodesian Ridgeback would qualify.
This is awesome - the invisible trick really works!

Try it for yourself - you will see people staring at you but you will know you are invisible!

I suspect that some context has been lost. 'Invisible' probably doesn't mean literally transparent. It may mean invisible to God, a free pass for sin. That would dovetail with the other powers of this device.
Not dissimilar to a couple modern wellness tips I have come across...
I've seen some posts about fermenting your own urine and such. Ew.
Sometimes I'll be reading a blog with what I think is decent health advice then suddenly that stupid feet-to-body-parts diagram appears and I have to actively forget what I just read.
Well... there is this thing called fecal transplant, which some may argue works.
We should keep in mind that these tips are specifically chosen because of their unusual and laughable nature, and so should refrain from attempting to generalize about the nature of medieval medicine from a biased dataset.
Except that any historian of medicine will tell you that pharmaceuticals well into the 18th century were dominated by ideas of "potency" where surely things would have beneficial effect because they have powerful smells or whatever. Uses of animal excrement are exceedingly common in early-modern remedy guides.
I remember learning from a historian that the use of animal excrement was used for all kinds of things; for example "curing" warts. The effectiveness was of course questionable, but that didn't stop people buying in to the hype of the day.

Someone else recently posted about the Templar diet[1], and I thought that was actually quite ahead of it's time. What I find most interesting is how they could have been so ahead of the times in terms of diet and hygiene compared to the "average Joe".

[1] https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/what-the-templar-knigh...

In defense of at least that wart remedy, a wart will turn green/black pretty much right away and then fall off relatively quickly if you keep it saturated with vinegar for a few hours here and there. I am willing to believe that some excreted waste materials could have a similar effect.
"Fecal microbiota transplant (FMT), also known as a stool transplant, is the process of transplantation of fecal bacteria from a healthy individual into a recipient. FMT involves restoration of the colonic microflora by introducing healthy bacterial flora through infusion of stool, e.g. by colonoscopy, enema, orogastric tube or by mouth in the form of a capsule containing freeze-dried material, obtained from a healthy donor. The effectiveness of FMT has been established..."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_microbiota_transplant

They also omit any reference to religion or what we would call the supernatural, both common in medical texts of the time.
More common than they are today, but there may be survivorship bias happening here - I'd imagine church-housed manuscripts would have a higher chance of surviving into the present day than random texts not church related.
> For to be invysybell

Someone should try it. It is proven! But the issue is, those who proved it are long dead so we need some new evidence.

The recipe requires you to put frog bones in a stream and pick out the bone that moves against the stream... You might run out of frogs before finding such a bone!
Mark my words, these tips will be on the Goop website by the end of the year.
Can Sleeping in Horse Shit Cure Your Bruises? The Answer May Surprise You!
Medieval Housewife Discovers One Weird Trick For Curing Bruises - Grooms Hate Her!
I wonder if anyone is going through these old texts to discover things. Perhaps rabbit bile contains something unique. Always makes you wonder... thats all for now, got a warm bed waiting for me.
> warm bed waiting

Sore from a beating are ya?

It's a shame they didn't have a cure for the uncomfortable feeling of having coffee in the sinuses!

I still use many of these in my day to day life.