Ask HN: I have constantly fallen prey to office politics. Need Advice
I was hired mainly due to my experience with high quality / scalable code. Soon, a few key employees begun downplaying this ability of mine – for instance, they loved to rewrite the components originally written by myself whenever they could. I would never criticize their work as a way to fight back. The "no bosses, no roles policy" also made things harder for me, since I didn't really feel like I could trust anyone.
Eventually, I left and took a top management position (reporting to one of the company's VPs) at a more established corporation. I gave my best at this new job, building a new development team from scratch and delivered solutions with real business impact throughout the company. My work was recognized, and I became known in the whole company. It felt truly amazing. However, there was one executive that made it clear, from the very beginning, that he didn't like me. Things went south recently after a reorg, when he began owning an area I worked closely with and loved the work we did. This executive (who happens to be the CEO’s favorite) begun searching for motives to belittle our work. Things have now gotten to a point where even my boss is refraining from defending us.
I had to control myself not to quit this job today (and let go of my bonus). It would be fairly easy for me to find another similar position. However, I wonder if I am lacking some sort of skill. I do notice that I have a hard time saying no and that I generally like pleasing people. I don't want this to happen to me again, so any advice (books, therapy, "you shouldn't be a manager") is deeply appreciated.
11 comments
[ 0.28 ms ] story [ 18.8 ms ] threadThat being said, I don’t think this is about me being “average” or not. I don’ even think it is possible to measure how “good” people are in a global scale. People with different skillsets are good for different positions.
My main question is whether or not I am lacking a specific skill, what that skill is and how to acquire it. Or even if I should give up on managing people and going back to being an IC.
From what I understood based on your comment, sounds like you believe I should improve my communication skills. Is this the case? Do you think just communicating more with the people I am having problems with is enough?
On your second question, I have no idea why this executive doesn't like me. I wrote a comment on another thread on my first negative interaction with him and someone suggested that my presence somehow messes up with plans he originally had. However, I can't really think of anything.
Once you understand him, you can make a gameplan. Since you said the exec is close with the CEO, he's probably a good friend to have, and patching things up with him can really improve how you look to the CEO.
Business is about people, and technical accomplishment only goes so far. Figure out how to make the right people happy and you'll go far.
> I invited him for a conversation
Why was this contact made? What's his connection to your team, ie. how important is his input to your team?
> I spoke with some people in the company I already felt like I could trust
Possible scenario: Chances are that these coworkers are also close to 'that' manager, and talked about it to other coworkers, which eventually resulting into 'that' manager heard that you talked about him. -> Source of hate?
I, myself, would do one of the following options
1. Make your sprint/monthly goals clear to the CEO and at the end deliver
2. Start looking for other opportunities. Since you were well liked in your previous positions, it may be easier to get references.
Hidden option: Look really hard at yourself. Are there unconscious behaviours of you that may cause dislike? Try to apologize to 'that' manager for tiny and unnoteworthy mistakes, he just sounds like a ... who needs more love.
I always try to be nice at the start, but if it goes south I just try to avoid that person. It has worked for me but YMMV.
You do NOT have to be nice to people who are mean to you.
Not saying you shouldn't try to build relationships but I'm not much for hand-holding just so people won't hate you for no reason.
It's ok, you don't have to be friends with everybody.
Hopefully this is one of those times I find a comment horrifying/depressing but they didn't really mean what I thought they meant.