Ask HN: How to stop my greed for money?

Figure out what money is for, and spend on it.

Give some money away, even if it's a little bit.

In certain circles this is called creating an "abundance mentality," [1]. When you get rid of something that you're worried about not having enough of, it trains your brain to not worry so much about having the thing.

[1] https://www.positivityblog.com/how-to-create-an-abundance-me...

For me it was (is) just about the status and feelings of accomplishment compared to others.

Try to get your self worth from something else. (Easier said than done in this society!)

Go to a therapist. A money hoarder is the worst kind of hoarder, since it's basically encouraged by society, but it's really damaging to both the hoarder and the people around them. Destroys famillies, etc, etc. Your money thing is probably, like ordinary hoarding, a sublimated form of anxiety.

Maybe reading about the opposite can help. I found about Mr Money Moustache[0] about a year ago. His blog changed the way I look at and think about money.

[0] https://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2013/02/22/getting-rich-from...

First, realize that you're probably making at least double the median US income. If you have a house with no loan and that income, you're doing way, way, way better than average.

I see two possible paths forward.

The less likely is to read and internalize http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-sim... and realize how quickly you can reach financial independence at a reduced spending level (but one that still affords an amazing life). Buying time is the most valuable use of money, IMO.

The second is to stay miserable for a while, striving for something ambiguous yet out of reach, until you get older and this feeling fades.

Path #1 (or a variant) is probably healthier and happier.

This won't necessarily "stop your greed," but I'm a big fan of Jim Harrison's "In Search of Small Gods," particularly the poem "Quarters."

Quarters

--------------

"Maybe the problem is that I got involved with the wrong crowd of gods when I was seven. At first they weren't harmful and only showed themselves as fish, birds, especially herons and loons, turtles, a bobcat and a small bear, but not deer and rabbits who only offered themselves as food. And maybe I spent too much time inside the water of lakes and rivers. Underwater seemed like the safest church I could go to. And sleeping outside that young might have seeped too much dark into my brain and bones. It was not for me to ever recover. The other day I found a quarter in the driveway I lost at the Mecosta State Fair in 1947 and missed out on five rides including the Ferris wheel and the Tilt-A-Whirl. I sat in anger for hours in the bull barn mourning my lost quarter on which the entire tragic history of earth is written. I looked up into the holes of the bulls' massive noses and at the brass rings puncturing their noses which allowed them to be led. It would have been an easier life if I had allowed a ring in my nose but so many years later I still find the spore of the gods here and there but never in the vicinity of quarters."

"I just can't shake it" - how do you know that?

Do a bit of volunteer work for people who are far less fortunate. You’ll start to appreciate what you have and maybe start to reset your priorities and perspective.

Contemplate your own mortality

I read a book recently called Beyon Anger. You fall into the “whiner angry man” category. Someone who’s angry and expresses his angriness through compaints and negativity. Usually these people stopped making any progress in life and wait for the world to change, not them. It’s a waste of time and talent.

My best advise would be for you to go chase your dream and to stop complaining too much. If you love money (who doesn’t really?), then work harder to get more.

Give some charity. Do it consistently.

I don’t think you are greedy actually.

You are dissatisfied, yes, but you aren’t making a ton of money.

Your nervous system is just disregulated, talk to a somatic therapist.

Also, try actually making more money and figuring out how to overcome your internal blocks.

The only reliable solution for temptation is to give in to it.

Why not just devote yourself obsessively to getting money?

Either you’ll get it and see what that’s like, or you’ll learn you don’t actually have sufficient drive to do it, or the right skills.

I mean everyone’s got to do something all day. Just make sure to have a set of ethics and values and continue to abide by them during this pursuit.

Physical activity. I.e., start going for a run 3-4 times a week. It's a great way to get your mind off of your troubles.

I know of no more effective tool to adjust perspective than travel. You need to travel more. Perhaps to Trumpian shitholes would be even more effective.

An then do some camping, near and far.

I like to think about my deathbed. We can't take money with us when we die, so what's money for except to live the life we want?

So what do you want out of life? What would you do if you had a billion dollars? What would you do if money weren't a thing at all, and we all got to do whatever we want?

I would still create things. I'd write code. I'd design 3d models. I'd write. I'd climb mountains, and run on trails. I'd spend time with my family. I'd watch movies. I'd read books.

What would you do? Are you doing any of these things now? If you can identify these kinds of things, and let yourself enjoy them in the moment, you might find yourself not thinking about money for a little while each day.

What is it about the millionaires that makes you want to be one?

Freedom from having a boss? Not having to work? Fast cars? Flash apartments in trendy locations? Bragging rights? Feeling of "winning the game".

Ask yourself honestly will you still have some kind of obsession even if you made millions. Its a cliche the 70 year old billionaire businessperson still working their ass off.

In a nutshell get to know yourself and your motivations. Reflect.

Just get your shit together

If I was in your situation I would start thinking along the following lines.

1. Tell yourself that it is okay to feel uncomfortable. This is uncomfortable feeling that you're not in control, that you're not making enough, that you're going to miss your one shot. This is the first step at reducing the anxiety of it.

2. Start to remove distracting consumptions. Social media, articles, news, etc. Spend time just being with yourself and appreciate the quiet. Put your phone on flight mode at night and charge it in a different room, get enough sleep.

3. Expose yourself to new perspectives. I have found the following audio books to be instrumental is figuring out how to be happier without greed:

a) A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy

b) Man's Search for Meaning

c) The Power of Now (I'm only about 1 hour into this one, but it's made me think)

4. Start a new routine to break the habit of your current ways of thinking.

5. Meditate to help you regain control of your reactions - become reaction aware.

6. Don't look for whole solutions, progress happens in tiny steps and just keep exploring new ways to approach how you feel, how you motivate, how you enjoy the today. Sometimes it's the smaller things that have more profound effects.

7. Start measuring your progress in years, derived by small daily improvements.

I appreciate the above advice might not be for everyone, but it's something I'm going down and enjoying it very much. You already reached a fundamental point, to bring out of your subconscious how you really feel. Now you can consciously reprogram how you want to feel. Well done!

Start traveling. It will give you a lot of different perspective on how big the world is and what an abstract thing is the concept of money.

The trick is to realize that most money is made accidentally and anyone telling you how they did it is ignoring luck. For every 30 year old multimillionaire, there are 2-300 more who did exactly the same as they did, but one got lucky.

>I make an average living (low six figures,

I make 33k a year...

You say you keep reading about all the people making millions. I suggest you think and read about 99% of people of the world poorer than you - who live in war torn countries with brutal dictators, who have to walk miles to get water, who don't have enough money to feed their children. Then you will realize how lucky and privileged you are to be making a six figure salary in a peaceful country (I am assuming you live in a peaceful country here). That would help curb your greed. Money is a mirage, the amount you want always seems just out of reach and you keep running after it. After a certain point it has diminishing happiness returns (if you earn a six figure salary in dollars/euros/pounds) you have reached that level already. You should feel lucky and enjoy other things like your hobbies. People who make very less money don't have the luxury to enjoy their hobbies. Realize how lucky you are and it will change the way you view life and money.