Ask HN: How do you guys develop mental toughness?

Let's say mental toughness = mental harm/abuse resitance.

Maybe it's similar to how we develop drug resistance. By exposing yourself to difficult situation which are challenging for your mind, you might develop mental toughness.

i must say i am a advocate of physical suffering for developing "toughness" but, not because i'm a masochist, loving the pain of walking or suffering through cold.

the mental toughness comes from a need to ignore physical pain and drive through to the end, as you have no other choice.

in simple terms it's "drive or die".

i'm also a follower of stoic ideology, if you look into that, you can read the thoughts of many great men, but they all suffered.

i'm not sure if i can help with intellectual mental toughness, but i assume this means mental toughness without physical suffering?

Living in China.

different things work for different people, but personally I do hard drugs

Get married and divorce a couple of times.

Sorry for the bit unedited/rough comment but I don't have too much time so I'm typing pretty fast.

(1) Learning how to program

(2) Hacking hardware

(3) Learning Andy McKee Rylynn on guitar while only knowing Wonderwall (there's a YouTube tutorial).

(4) Breathing/anapana/'basic'/the-first-meditation-beginners learn meditation and Tonglen (see the book search inside yourself for instructions) meditation [1].

(5) In general: by bootcamping yourself. Also known as being woefully underprepared and then just do it for 8 to 16 hours per day (the hours depend on how the rest of your life balance is, your health must be ok).

I wasn't talented at hardware hacking and hated programming when I started with it. It was my curiosity that said: can't you learn to like it? You can create awesome things with it!

Curiosity + the promise of creating awesome things + observing myself and being rational on how to influence myself = learning how to program despite hating it initially.

But in general: focus a lot on what you're doing and focus as deep as you possibly can and do that for as long as possible. This state is in some was easier to get into if you're doing a topic that seems super hard for you to learn and that you don't know a lot about.

For physical toughness: learn the Wim Hof Method -- adrenaline whenever you want it. I'm pretty sure that will help for developing physical toughness.

[1] In my experiene the following meditations don't develop mental toughness, they only develop empathy or a form of emotional intelligence: Vipassana/body scan/mindfulness, loving kindness keditation/metta (yes the same metta as my username implies).

grow up in a third world country

For what purpose? If you want to learn how to cope with having your work rejected, become an author.

Practice identifying the ego underlying your rationale and the way you interact with people. The more you’re able to confront and abandon, the mentally-tougher you’ll be.

Read the Stoics. Take up an endurance sport.

What is mental toughness? It is perspective and belief to step back and realise that the suffering is only temporary and will ultimately be worth having endured.

Exposure to uncomfortable situations works, but you need to do it properly.

Some people find a cognitive behaviour therapy model useful.

In my experience, learning to tolerate physical discomfort translates pretty well to mental resilience as well.

Learn and practice meditation. It’s the only way. I can highly recommend the book Mental Resilience: The Power of Clarity [1] by Kamal Sarma It comes with a CD (yes they still make those) to help you early on with some guided meditations while you build up.

[1]: https://www.amazon.com/Mental-Resilience-Clarity-Develop-War...

Mediation can teach you this.

I wonder how much difference physical stress Vs mental stress it makes. Stress is stress. Anxiety (mental stress) causes physical symptoms. The will to continue in physical endeavours is through changing the mind and being determined to continue. Mind over matter. This want to stop doing physical stuff comes from the mind. So improving the mental toughness comes from repetitively attempting to breach this barrier.

Goggins even says stuff in his interviews with Joe Rogan that indicate that he would agree. Most people stop physical activity not when the body is exhausted but when the brain thinks the body is done. When Jesse Itzler interviewed with Joe Rogan about Goggins, he said Goggins thought people only did 40% of what they were capable of until they changed their mind.

Play some Dota 2.

Practicing MMA (but any single art like Boxing, Wrestling, Muy Thai, etc would work) has definitely boosted my mental toughness. Once you step into a ring with someone who is trying to attack you, and come out okay, you realize you can handle pretty much anything.

Even if you don't spar, simply motivating yourself to go to practice can be tough. If you can walk into a room knowing you're going to be pinned and choked, you can walk into an interview/negotiation/meeting/date no problem.

Protect yourself from

   Machiavellianism(manipulate/deceive others)
   Psychopathy(lack of remorse/empathy)
   Sadism(pleasure in suffering of others) 
   Narcissism(egotism/self-obsession)

Some ways of putting psychological stress on yourself:

- Public speaking

- Taking on leadership roles

- Do things that are counter to your personality. Eg, if you're shy, force yourself to talk to strangers on the street

- Put yourself in situations where you will probably face rejection

- Do things that will make you stick out. Eg: showing up at work one day in a suit when everyone else is wearing t-shirts. Or vice-versa

- Take a flight to a random foreign country where you don't know the local language, and where most people don't know English. No hotel reservations in advance, no laptop, no smartphone, minimal budget. Figure out how to survive, have fun, and visit the city's major landmarks over the following 5 days. Bonus points if it's a developing country

Not that I'm particularly recommending all of the above. But they will certainly put you in an psychologically "uncomfortable" spot and help expand your comfort zone.

Definitely an out there response, but recreational drugs take you to a place where you build up different views on how 'everything' works. Really gives you a different perspective on what is "difficult" in life.

Oh, and meditation and video games surely.

Listen to Jocko Willink all day...

Why would you want to develop "intellectual mental toughness", how do you define it?

Edit:

Okay googling a bit, I think mental toughness is an incredibly poor name for the concept. I'm this close to put that "mental toughness" name into the "toxic masculinity" box.

My advice would be don't be afraid to make mistakes, and be kind to yourself when you make some. I've noticed that when facing failure the best pattern would be to pardon yourself and allow yourself to learn from it. Take a step back.

Why is this a goal? Perhaps consider instead increasing your ability to have empathy, as toughness implies lack of caring about what is happening around you.

I shot skeet competitively when I was younger. I competed at a high level. Unlike many other sports where competitors affect your play, the only reason you fail in skeet is because of you. The target will fly the same. The gun and ammunition will perform.

The outcome of any one event is Boolean: you hit the target or you miss. Feedback is instant.

You have to learn to put your mind into the zone. You do that through repetition. While competing, if you worry about your competitor, or the next shot, or how you look, you will miss. Coincidentally, you learn to turn off your brain from trying too hard. A relaxed brain and body are quicker to react, and more powerful.

I leaned mental toughness through a game with small Boolean feedback, which rewards focus and rejects excessive effort. It is like instant feedback on meditation.

have a cold shower every day! (not in the tropics - I mean in places where a cold shower is genuinely uncomfortable)

meditation