Ask HN: What books changed the way you think about almost everything?

2009 points by apitman ↗ HN
I was reflecting today about how often I think about Freakonomics. I don't study it religiously. I read it one time more than 10 years ago. I can only remember maybe a single specific anecdote from the book. And yet the simple idea that basically every action humans take can be traced back to an incentive has fundamentally changed the way I view the world. Can anyone recommend books that have had a similar impact on them?

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“How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a good one.

It’s a nice reminder on how to treat people.

For me, it’s How to Lie With Statitics. It opened my eyes to how much lies are in numbers. Also, another good one is 1984. It really made me think about my online life depending so much on Google.
Guns, Germs and Steel by Diamond. Also Foundation Trilogy by Asimov because of the incredible creativity needed to tell that story
I can second Guns, Germs and Steel. I'm continually evaluating how much things are a result of my own work vs just a byproduct of the environment I'm in.
I've had a copy of this from a book sale sitting on my shelf for over a year. I'll have to get to it.
Strongly disagree. The geographic determinism theory of GG&S is frustrating and ignores significant factors in the rise of the West.

This review is something I generally send out to people after they've read GG&S, and strongly recommend Eric Wolf as an author. He puts many of the points I would make significantly more eloquently:

https://www.livinganthropologically.com/eric-wolf-europe-peo...

I would argue that “changing the way you think” doesn’t require the book to be factually accurate. The idea that external factors like geographical starting conditions can have a huge impact and shape things as complex as human culture is a powerful one, regardless of the conclusions drawn in the book.

If anything, the way it has been challenged and shown to be flawed is a lesson on and of itself - that complex systems have emergent properties, and that those starting conditions are not as deterministic as it might appear at first blush.

Good point.

If GG&S changed the way you think, I'd highly recommend following it up with either the book from that review (Eric Wolf's "Europe and the People without History") or Ian Morris's "Why The West Rules, For Now".

Yes, not meant to be accurate. Just changed my perception and continues to linger.
Guns, Germs and Steel is an absolute garbage book. It's pseudoscience, plain and simple. It's teaching unacceptable ways to think about culture, by any anthropologist's standards.
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Principles by Ray Dalio. It provides a good principle-based decision making framework, and I also found his own principles to be interesting and insightful.
Measure what Matters by John Doerr had a similar effect on me to what you're describing with Freakonomics. I don't remember a lot of details from that book, but the way I set and measured goals after reading it changed almost overnight.
Have not read the book. Could you elaborate?

Here is what I have figured out regarding this topic.

1) most times what really matters to you is impossible to measure. When you drill down to core motivation/drives.

E.g how does one measure “happiness”, relationship quality, friendship, quality of life, learning etc.

2) Due to 1. we measure a proxy for the outcome we seek.

3) if we get this proxy wrong, and we optimise/improve it we have no effect on the outcome. Maybe we even have the opposite effect.

4) We often import/take-on other peoples definitions/proxy metrics for the outcome. Not our own.

Think it was Russel Ackoff who said “rather do the right things wrong then the wrong things right”

In other words. Start with what you actually value/want and make sure the metric will get you there.

That's great input/insight, I think I agree with with most of what you're saying. What I really got from this book is that I was not managing my goals correctly. As a programmer when I'm given a problem the first thing I do is break it down into small, easily achievable pieces that then build up into the final solution.

I wasn't doing this with my goals and a byproduct of that was that I wasn't able to measure to progress of my final goals.

It's really more about how you manage your goals, not what they might be, but even with something as broad as happiness I think this is still possible. If you set "being happier" as your final goal, you can start to set daily, monthly, yearly... goals that fold into happiness. Happiness may not be strictly measurably, but if you know that working out 3 times a week makes you happier you can set that as a weekly goal. You then can set monthly and yearly goals around what working out steadily will improve (lifting more weight, running further and faster) and those things will usually be easily measurable.

There's edge cases for sure, as with most things. I will say it works better in a work environment where most progress can be easily measured (Even though it often isn't), but I think a good goal system is something that can be beneficial for any goal you may set.

However I do agree with #3 & #4, if your final goals are not in the right direction any adjustments to the daily, weekly, monthly goals will not improve that and may have a negative overall effect, but I think that resolves to a much larger issue than your goal management system.

I think this book was suggested by Bill Gates.
The Ethics of Liberty by Murray Rothbard
One book that changed me was reading Master and Margarita in Russian for the first time.

It was the first book I started reading I could not put down until the end. Gained a lot of appreciation for literature at that time.

The other book that I enjoyed and changed me was ‘The Wisdom of Insecurity’ by Alan Watts. I was a fan of Alan Watts works through his lectures already and it was wonderful to hear his ideas in writing for the first time.

The book is available to read for free online (https://antilogicalism.files.wordpress.com/2017/07/wisdom-of...).

I wish everyone read or watched Alan Watts lectures and books. The world would be a much nicer place if that was the case.

My favorite quote is by him:

‘We thought of life by analogy with a journey, a pilgrimage, which had a serious purpose at the end, and the thing was to get to that end, success or whatever it is, maybe heaven after you’re dead. But we missed the point the whole way along. It was a musical thing and you were supposed to sing or to dance while the music was being played.’

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Thanks for mentioning Bulhakow. This is my all time most favourite book.

I mean, come on, the devil himself vs the communist party of Russia, sprinkled with loads of humour. What else do you need?

Great quote, Watts is truly inspirational. What a happy surprise when Ctrl+F takes you right to the first comment ;)

If anyone doesn't have the time or attention span to commit to a full-blown book, The Joyous Cosmology [0] and Become What You Are [1] present some of Watt's ideas in a more condensed format. The former is a ~30 page essay freely available online. The latter is a collection of ~15 very short essays (1-12pg each) - a perfect replacement for smartphone scrolling when confronted with 5-10 minutes of free time.

https://holybooks-lichtenbergpress.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content...

https://www.amazon.com/Become-What-You-Alan-Watts/dp/1570629...

Is there a recommended order of Watts’ books, a fundamental one to start with? I’ve ended up buying a few of his books, but haven’t started on them yet.
The Wisdom of Insecurity is a good place to start unless you’re interested in a specific topic like Zen or Taoism.
There is a game available on most gaming platforms, PC and console, called Everything which is home to an experience crafted using Watts' lectures. It is quite an interesting experience. Not quite a game but more of an interactive philosophical exercise, but quite good, and a very interesting introduction to Watts' work.
When you mentioned Alan Watts and his quote, I thought I'd share a small animated clip that presented that quote well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGoTmNU_5A0
animated by Trey Parker & Matt Stone
In case someone wouldn't know, they are the creators of South Park.
>I wish everyone read or watched Alan Watts lectures and books. The world would be a much nicer place if that was the case.

Parties would become a lot more insufferable.

I LOVE the Master and Margarita but I've only read it in English. When you say you read it in Russian for the first time, did you mean you've read it in English before? If so, were there huge differences?
Russian is my native language so I read it in Russian for first and second time. Never read it in English so can't say. But I think this is one of those books that will lose some of its 'magic' in translation.
This is disappointing to hear, but to anyone who is deterred by this comment from reading it in English, don't be. Even in English, the book was undoubtedly one of the best books I have ever read. There's something about it that makes you go "What happens next?!" for all 400 odd pages of it, and before you know it, you're at the end. It's truly a masterpiece - Bulgakov spent 10 years writing the final version of the novel after burning his initial manuscript twelve years prior in 1928, but as you will come to learn, manuscripts don't burn ;)
Can you share which translation you read? I imagine there's multiple that people will still find enjoyable but there's a lot of options for russian lit.
I'm not the person you replied to but I read the Diana Burgin & Katherine Tiernan O'Connor translation and thought it was absolutely brilliant!
I read the Mirra Ginsburg translation, which I have heard is a sin because it is based on the censored text. If I could do it over (which I probably will in a couple years) I would probably read the Burgin/Tiernan O'Connor translation that another commenter has mentioned. There is more information on all of the English translations here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Master_and_Margarita#Engli...
I've read it first in Russian (I'm a native speaker) and then in English (Ginsburg translation) when I was learning the language. I don't think it lost too much in translation, but it might because I'm very familiar with the original text. You don't need to know anything about Russia or Soviet Union to enjoy it.

Another book similar in spirit and quality to M&M is "Danilov, the violist" by Vladimir Orlov.

I speak both Russian and English and read it both languages. Yes, some of the magic is lost, but not too much. Mostly it's word interplay and phrases that are just hard to translate.

But you can recover a lot of understanding even without speaking the language with a bit of work. By say trying to get a feel for what Moscow might be like in the 1920. Political persecution and censorship are major themes. Even things like psychiatric hospitals are important because they were often used as an alternative torture and imprisonment system. Writers are poets were also important. That was before TV, radio was just getting started so writers were sort of like the Youtube celebrities of the day. And controlling what they say, do, and act was critical. In other words things that might seems kind of "meh" or odd carry significance and knowing about it might make it for a richer interpretation and a more interesting read.

I do wonder what tasteless books benefit from this magic, but the other way around.
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Off topic, but the good old Blues Brothers movie is even better in the version dubbed in German, in my view. The German dialogues are hilarious.
Really appreciate your phrasing - I feel the same way about Anthony Bourdain's material (while on a very different matter) - has convinced me to check out some more Alan Watts.
Thanks for mentioning an amazing book of literature. The Master and Margarita is my favorite fiction book! I've read it in two translations and I prefer the Burgin & O'Connor to the Glenny, but both are great.

Everytime I read it I gain more insights. I absolutely recommend reading this book alongside a readers guide which gives more background and depth, there are many biblical, historical, and author-related references that won't be understood otherwise. The author's own life is massively relevent to the events of the novel. I recommend this guide:

https://www.amazon.com/Master-Margarita-Critical-Companion-A...

Any particular reason for preferring that translation? I'm always curious to hear others' thoughts before picking one to read.
I did a meta review of translations before trying that particular translation. I found it extremely readable, and the humor comes through nicely, while also maintaining some of the long sentences Bulgakov liked and remaining faithful in general to his style.
Was amazed when I saw the recommendation on the top comment. My fiancé recommended me this book and I just finished it on my commute this morning (this specific translation). Still thinking about it! Wonderful book, super engaging and just absolutely beautifully written. I couldn't put it down. Highly recommended!
About depth of the book: we've studied it in literature class in Russia for a month, because it's a kaleidoscope of interpretations, one would definitely miss too much without a guide (especially in 17 y.o. as myself). The only piece with more class time is War and Peace for obvious reasons.
My experience with secondary literature about MaM is negative. I went to the University Library and checked out a massive commentary on it and a book about its interpretation.

The latter argued that, contrary to a common notion, Woland is emphatically not the Devil. I did not get far in trying to understand it, but this and the similarly non-understandable commentary really took away some fun out of reading the book, because I constantly felt I was too stupid to get it.

Reading commentary is good, but maybe on a way lower level than literature professors trying to make a name.

I can sympathize with this, however, if you read my recommended guide, it absolutely isn't "that kind" of criticism. It's very readable and made a lot of sense to me. :)
I just wanted to point out the hilarity of this in the context of the book's literary critic thread :)
There's a rather modern and new German translation which has been turned into an audio play by Bayerischer Rundfunk. I adore that! They have cast an Austrian as Fagott, with a wonderful Viennese dialect.

No idea whether Fagott has some linguistic extravagance in the original, but it works really well on this Master of Ceremonies.

As a more technical companion to Freakonomics, I would recommend "The undercover economist" and its sequel by Tim Harford. It's a great introduction to the way economy shapes our lives and choices. You will never drink coffee or sit in a queue the same way after reading it.

Another book that changed allot about how I look at the world is "The long tail" by Chris Anderson. Maybe too thin of a concept for a whole book, but definitely interesting.

Could you share a few quotes or ideas from Master and Margarita that changed how you think?

I really liked the book, but mostly because I thought it was funny and had great plot. I fear I missed all the deep wisdom.

> Cowardice was undoubtedly one of the most terrible vices - thus spoke Yeshua Ha-Nozri. 'No, philosopher, I disagree with you: it is the most terrible vice!'

(This is Pontius Pilate's response to Yeshua.) To me this is about staying silent when you see evil being committed. But it doesn't even have to be 'Evil with a big E', it's just about speaking up when you see something that doesn't sit right with your morality.

The other big takeaway for me was about how Margarita threw away all the rules of society to save the Master (her beloved). But she did it for more than just his sake, I think; she certainly took her liberation from society's expectations of women.

Thanks for pointing out. Even though I don't share your take on this, I find it interesting.

I think the first example is just some innocent banter of a couple characters from long ago, who had a very naive understanding of the world because they couldn't begin to comprehend its true complexity.

I think the second example is something any cool person would have done, because witches are awesome.

Don't you think that the world would be entirely different place without cowardice?
Certainly. But I think the world would be a far better place without hatred than without cowardice. So hatred is much worse than cowardice.

IMHO envy, fanaticism, cruelty also cause more harm than cowardice.

I'm not sure about that.

Absence of cowardice (also known as self-preservation) will severely limit what people allow to do to them. This includes limiting all the things that you listed as worse than cowardice.

On the other hand, lack of fear will empower ideologies that employ suicide bombers.

Also it will make nuclear wars much less unthinkable.

"The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of moral crisis preserve their neutrality." - One of President Kennedy's favorite quotations
I've registered here to write this. It is interesting that two most voted books here, Master and Margarita and Animal Farm are both about Stalin.

In MoM the all 3 main characters have real prototypes. Master is Author (Bulgakov), Margarita is Author's wife Elena, Woland is Stalin. Bulgakov was under assault of Soviet regime, he wanted to emigrate, but Stalin kept him in country. He was in constant fear of being detained for anti-soviet propaganda. Her wife which he loved a lot was forced to became secret informer, she reported periodically to officials against him. Bulgakov knew that, and this theme also in book. This moment is so tragic and central, because her wife was editor of the book. MoM is about exceptional courage of Bulgakov, his personal response to Staling, his sole main reader. At that time, just comparing Stalin to Statan was enough to be executed.

I highly recommend this course to understand better MoM https://arzamas.academy/courses/39 unfortunately it's in Russian.

I imagine I’ll take heat for this, but the first answer that comes to mind is A Thousand Plateaus by Deleuze & Guattari. It has been justifiably criticized by many people on many grounds, but as with OP and Freakonomics, certain of the concepts in that book frequently appear in my thoughts 20 years after I worked through some of it. I don’t associate it with truth; but some of the mental models have really stuck with me.

Edit: also Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse. It’s slim and user friendly to a fault, and would be easy to underestimate at first glance, but imho contains great wisdom and beauty.

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What's an example of a concept from A Thousand Plateaus that has stuck with you?
Rhizomatic values and actions vs arborescent ones, de- and reterritorialization, the drawing of lines of flight, and nomadic war machines, more than anything else. I’m not sufficiently grounded in Marx or Freud to follow their narratives confidently, so my interpretations are probably overly simplistic; but I think they’d have approved of my taking the words and making them my own.

More than any of those individual terms though, I took from the book a sort of gestalt of expansive, additive, richly intellectual ideation, one based not on truth values, but in thinking new thoughts. In my edition, the translator’s introduction portrays D&G’s notion of a concept as a brick that should not be used to build a courthouse, but to be thrown through a window. This whole way of being in the world was enormously refreshing to me when I read it.

> Rhizomatic vs arborescent

Roots vs trees? If these ideas have any merit, surely it should be possible to express them clearly, and without (gratuitous?) invocation of pseudo-scientific terms.

A rhizome isn't just a root, it's an offshoot of a plant with the ability to create an entirely new plant.

You have a point with arborescent, but it is translated from French, and from what I know of French morphology, arborescent could probably sounds to a French person like "treeish" or "tree ADJ", and therefore not quite so formal/illegible.

The joke I tell about A Thousand Plateaus is that on one of the plateaus is good writing. Didn't make it into the book though

What is pseudoscientific about those words? Read the book to see how they are used, and why the selected language is actually sensible in its given context.

Your criticism is like telling a pharmacist not to use the terminology that distinguishes some kinds of drugs from others. It may be true that the blue pill makes your dick hard and the red pill cures your headache, but if you actually want to go into it and address why and how they do these things you need a more focused vocabulary that is clearly defined in its context of use (which G&D do).

I've wanted to read A Thousand Plateaus for a few years. The first time I tried it, all that stuff about wolves and geology just lost me. I will have to try again. Honestly, I found it harder than Heidegger's Being and Time, which I worked through while listening to Hubert Dreyfus's lectures on iTunes U a few years ago.

Whenever I read about Deleuze and Guattari I get this feeling they are on to something - I just don't know what!

I know what you mean. It’s hard to avoid feeling like what appears to be glossolalic nonsense would all be revealed as a majestic tour de force, perfectly comprehensible and life-changing, if you were familiar enough with Marx, Freud, Leibniz, Spinoza, Bergson, Kant, Sartre, and god knows whom else, to put it all together. I’m not, so I can’t prove or disprove the case, which makes it a weird answer to OP’s question; but per above, it remains the case for me that images and terms from that book have never stopped working in my ideation processes since I picked it up.
One thing with Thousand Plateaus is that you don't have to read the book in sequence. You can start with random chapter. That's the only thing I remember from the book.
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky - introduced me to the rationalist movement

The First Immortal by James Halperin - introduced me as a sixth grader to things like cryonics, nanotech, etc. Got me thinking about a realistic ambitious nearer term future for humanity, rather than a more fantasy-like one in the other sci-fi I'd read at that point, like Asimov and Heinlein

As a Man Thinketh by James Allen - gave me much greater agency in life. Made me realize “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”

Brief Answers To The Big Questions by Stephen Hawking, both inspiring and terrifiying at the same time!
The Illuminatus Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson

https://www.amazon.com/Illuminatus-Trilogy-Pyramid-Golden-Le...

RAW's Cosmic Trigger and Prometheus Rising for me: I read both when I was 13 and was a recently-converted Southern Baptist. I quickly shifted my entire understanding of epistemology and the nature of reality.
Fnord!
And with your accumulated downvotes, it makes the Fnord appropriately difficult to see, unless you take conscious steps to see it.
Wilson's "Everything is Under Control" was another important one for me after the Illuminatus! Trilogy. That's what sent me down the path into Thomas Pynchon, Hakim Bey, Noam Chomsky, etc. Can't really turn back after that.
“The Design of Everyday Things” changed the way I see literally everything. You’ll never look at doors the same way again, and prepare to forever be frustrated by poorly designed objects, and delighted by incredibly well designed ones.

There is no better book on the philosophy of UX, imho.

Oh yeah I’d second that, this book is spectacular
+1 for this gem. At least once a day I catch myself thinking some everyday object (or app) I’ve encountered could be more usable if it had certain signifiers to better illustrate its affordances, or lacked certain signifiers to obfuscate unintended affordances. Should be required reading for anyone who aspires to put products out into the world.
Indeed, I think of that book (which I read over a decade ago) every time I push or pull a door the wrong way. Reading it is like being able to see the matrix - but it’s simultaneously enlightening and frustrating when you realize how poorly so many things are designed.
not only UX. programmers can actually learn a lot about building software if they see the meta in the book (replace door w/ interface. think about the mental model your library user is going to build for your library. make things easy to use when the correct pattern is employed and impossible if improperly done. minimize cognitive load) the book is brilliant
This book made me feel normal again. I am constantly being embarrassed by doors. Now I know I am not alone.
+1 reflecting back I think this is one of the books that has been key to changing my thinking. Was one of the first design book I read, but the lessons have been with me for the last decade+.
Great book, and you're right, everyone I know who's read it (including me) says the same thing about doors afterwards.
I find "Living with Complexity" equally interesting.
This book got me interested in interaction design as a teenager. 10/10
I haven't read the book but I feel like it would make me even more grumpy from noticing even more poorly designed things than I already do.
Have you heard the old design joke?

If you really hate someone, teach them about kerning

The first time I tried to read this book after Luke Kanies the founder of Puppet recommended it I barely made it 15% in, but after 6 months of noticing poor design everywhere I went back and gave it another go. I'm not in UX but I think about this book almost daily.
Mine would be "Why we get fat and what to do about it" by Gary Taubes. Not only it changed my life (overweight to my healthiest ever), it also led me to challenge everything about our dietary dogmas. I further read "Art and Science of Low Carbohydrate Living", watched a lot of lectures and saw studies which question our current notions. Overall I am more skeptical of studies which have links to those benefiting from it commercially.
This is the book that switched on the light for me. It’s no exaggeration to say that it put me on a path to the best levels of health and fitness I have ever known. I am 56 and feel like I’m in the prime of life.
Reading Ender's Game as a child instilled a sense of agency at a young age.
I experienced the same thing reading that book. It gave me a powerful feeling about the things a teenager can do in an adult world. And a great story for a video game addict.
Thinking fast and slow had the biggest impact in changing how I think about a lot of things, epic study of how you’re predisposed to think and make decisions in a particular way. Coincidentally I read it at about the same time as freakonomics!
Seconding fast and slow. I'm working my way through it right now. It's pretty mind blowing.
Would really like a second edition for that book. The replication crisis has, unfortunately not been kind to some of the things in the book.
This keeps me from reading it. Reading something that is wrong but changes the way I view the world is not something I want.
I think it can still be read, but with a more critical mind and other, recent sources. You have a valid point, though.

Would be really interesting to have Kahneman discuss the crisis in a new chapter.

Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
The Design of Everyday Things makes me rethink every user interaction or problem I face, and not just at work. Every time I open a door, I begin to think about that experience.

Recently, Educated by Tara Westover, and in the past The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls, both have taught me to approach individuals with the true ignorance of their lives that I have. You don't know where people come from and what life led them to where they are when you meet them. Try not to make assumptions. Additionally, I have to remind myself that I grew up loved, cared for, and privileged compared to so many other people.. the fact that I could read their story and post here is a testament to that, helps me try to stay down to Earth and that I had some advantages growing up that others did not.

Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker... I used to be a chronic advocate for sleeping less until I read this and did my own scrappy post-research. I'm much more conscious of my health and my sleep now.

I could go on and on..

Please do go on, you seem to have similar taste to mine (Why We Sleep and Design of Everyday Things) so I'd love to know which other books make it into your top 10 or whatever.
I have forever changed my sleeping habits ever since before I even finished reading Why We Sleep. Best time/money investment I made in 2018.
+1 to Why We Sleep. I've been cutting back caffeine, alcohol, light, and spreading the sleep gospel since reading it.
Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

This helped me understand the duality of the logical/mechanical and the creative/artistic. Then merging the two.

This book changed my worldview too. For me more the idea that the world is how you perceive it, that events and objects have more than one aspect, property or interpretation.
My go-to vote as well. Some of my favorite passages pertain to the awareness of-and management of- one's internal motivation and thought process when attempting to do good work.

"So the thing to do when working on a motorcycle, as in any other task, is to cultivate the peace of mind which does not separate one’s self from one's surroundings. When that is done successfully then everything else follows naturally. Peace of mind produces right values, right values produce right thoughts. Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which will be a material reflection for others to see of the serenity at the center of it all."

I read it 45 years ago and liked it. But the only thing that sticks in my memory -- and it is enough, I suppose -- is the author helping his friend fix his motorcycle with a piece of shim made on the spot from a Coke can.
Same. Almost every time I see a can the phrase 'best shim stock in the world' jumps into my brain!
Great book for learning how to debug systems.
The sequel, Lila, is also really great. He's worked out the structure of Quality, in detail, and it makes a lot of sense. p.s. If you love Pirsig, read Thoreau's A Week on the Concord and Merrimack Rivers (1849) - the form is identical.
If this subject interests you, there is a fair chance you'll like "Narcissus and Goldmund" by Herman Hesse.
Yes! This book also got me to read Walden by Henry David Thoreau, which was also life changing.

I never fully understood what Pirsig meant by Quality though. I could not understand what it really was, but I didn’t need to. I got so much good out of the book. But if someone could explain better I’d love to hear.

My personal understanding is that much of the point of the book is less to give you a direct understanding of Quality itself, which he says is not directly understandable, but to surround the concept, give you the parameters, where it is where it isn't, being able to identify it when you see it.
My inspiration when it came to me learning/building/programming computers and most everything else I undertook in my 20's. It made me strive to be a know-er of things, not just a user.
im sorry i love these threads and all the people contributing but this book is overrated. Please explain to me what is so great and life changing about this book.
+1 For Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. This book lead me to accept a lot of parts of myself and seek to integrate all those parts together. I credit it with starting the journey that changed my life.
"Difficult Conversations: How to discuss what matters most". I bought this on the strength of an HN suggestion.

It's like Design Patterns for human conversations: the result of studying how people interact, common patterns that work, and how things break down. Really crystallised a lot of insights I'd perceived but never thought about systematically. I highly recommend it.

Word of warning - there are a few books with this title. Look for the one by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen.

Also Thinking Fast and Slow, recommended elsewhere in this thread.

What is Difficult Conversations about?
On the surface, it's about how to have conversations about difficult topics. Often these are conflict resolution type conversations. These range all the way from "you never take the bins out" to marriage breakups to large international political conflicts. These conversations can often go off the rails and conflicts are made worse, not solved. Whatever the scale, these kinds of conversations tend to follow familiar routes.

If you dispair at the way that conversations tend to devolve into personal attacks in national politics, office politics or your day-to-day interactions, this book is a very insightful handbook.

The book is the result of a big study at Harvard Business School of a large number of case studies. It spots the patterns that humans tend toward. In each case it identifies the pattern, why it happens, what the result can be (usually negative) and how to spot it coming and mitigate it. It also has snippets of conversation as case studies.

It's been a while, so I can't remember each item. But one example is that people tend to connect their identity to the point they are trying to argue. You challenge the point but to your conversation partner it feels like a direct personal attack. If you can find a way to acknowledge that connection, gently separate it from the identity, you have a much better chance of resolving the conflict.

I find a particularly strong parallel in the Gang of Four Design Patterns book. These are the broad problems that people try to solve with software, the structures that tend to emerge as people solve problems.

And, like design patterns, some things are deeply insightful and some things are obvious. E.g. of course 'iterators' are a thing. But development is so much better for having vocabulary to talk about them.

I am looking for a book that will help me talk about abstract topics. Have you any suggestions?
This is not that book. That's a great question though, I'd love an answer too.
I can give one tiny little bit of advice from several years about tutoring and teaching mathematics and physics...

Always start with examples.

If I am trying to teach the fundamental ideas of complex analysis, I want to show folks how to take derivatives of complex functions with several worked examples and then show them how to do line-integrals on the complex plane -- I want them to have a big repertoire of things that they have worked out. I want them to have done for themselves several "closed loop" integrals that have come out to zero, and some that have come out to one, before I ever imagine putting the residue theorem underneath their noses. When I explain that analytic functions are these conformal maps which preserve angles, I want them to understand that how we defined analytic functions requires them to locally look like scaled rotations, and to understand that neither scaling nor rotation can change an angle.

Same thing in computing. I wouldn't dream about explaining what a monad is until I've explained what a functor is, and I wouldn't dream about explaining what a functor is without thinking through how lists and maybes and functions and eithers and pairs are all "outputtish" in a certain hard-to-describe way, maybe even discussing how a `forall z. (a -> z) -> z` is actually outputtish in `a` too, before I could finally define some bad definitions ("can get an output out of it" -- well no, I can't do that with the function!) and then alight on "okay so here's a good definition of outputtish as mappable, you can take a function and map it over the output" and then the fact that this has a specific jargon name at that point is no longer of any consequence, "we call this a functor" -- great, some name to memorize, but the concept is "not hard."

In other words, abstractions are patterns in concrete topics. The Dewey Decimal System organizes a library. It is incredibly difficult to convince someone to use the Dewey Decimal System to organize a pile of five books: "What's the point in having this big abstract unifying theory about book contents? I only have five of them!". But what you do if you want to teach someone the Dewey Decimal System is to make sure that first they have a whole library that is in some mess of a state, they can't find what they need to find and they can't see where to file new "books" (examples, pieces of information) and then you come over the hill with this Dewey Decimal System and you look like a righteous force for justice, "aha! everything can be well-organized!"

I have tried so many times to lead with the "Here's how you want to think about this sort of problem!" theory for all of my tutees, and it always leaves them looking at me with that "what abyss of hell did this crazy tutor crawl out of?" face. By contrast if I am just encouraging about "okay, what do you know about this system?" and am very careful to snip the premature theory of "Uh, F = m a?" that they have been exposed to, we can often work through a problem in words and then work through it in numbers and then I can suggest that here is a different way to think about it in terms of, say, momentum conservation.

Thanks for such detailed response! Valuable indeed
The Power Broker. I picked it up out of urban interests, but it gets into so much more of how our political system has been shaped over the last 100 years, and it's scary (or reassuring?) how little it has changed. But also all the insane things Moses did to reshape how cities were built in the USA and how hard it will be to fix his urban sprawl motivation.
Atlas Shrugged
Me too, but The Fountainhead struck me more.

Reading Rand’s essays both made me appreciate her views more and made me cautious to accept her epistemology as a whole. I don’t consider myself an Objectivist, but I still consider her work to be a strong influence on my life.

Me too, but The Fountainhead struck me more.

Likewise. In addition, The Fountainhead was, IMO, better written... and it has the additional perk of being shorter than Atlas Shrugged. If anyone was thinking of sampling Rand, I'd almost always suggest starting with The Fountainhead.

Fair points. After about 75% you can stop reading Atlas Shrugged. I just found the whole idea of the railroad, and the battle between Mooch, Boyle, and Jim Taggart, versus Dagny, Reardon, and Eddy Willard to be fascinating.
Agreed, Fountainhead was the first book I read, thouroughly enjoyed it. Atlas Shrugged, I was looking forward to bury myself in it, but it was hard to finish.
The Selfish Gene by Dawkins. The gene is the unit of replication, and this affects every process in this universe.
That book also gave us the term "meme" which, in its original form, is way more interesting than "animated GIFs spread on social media."
It really is underappreciated how much 4chan has shaped Internet, and now mainstream, culture.
It's such a weird twist of irony that someone like Dawkins invented a term that has been so abused and deformed beyond all recognition. As expected, he hates what it's become; but it has truly evolved, beyond his control, so there's a wonderful truth there!
Seconded. This is the only book I’ve read that truly “changed” the way I think (excluding school textbooks) in a fundamental way. It was like discovering a new spacial dimension orthogonal to the existing 3. Like, how did I even live before this book?
I enjoyed that and some of his other books, but it was The God Delusion that did it for me. Having been born in a religious society makes it hard to break out of needing to assume there is a god, but that book could give people enough explanation to drop that assumption.
I always think it's really interesting how our upbringings shape us. I'd never even heard of god until I was 4, when I must have heard the word mentioned, asked my dad what it mean, and it was explained to me as a thing up in the sky that some people believe in.
This book has had a monumental, life altering perspective shift in everyone I know that have read it.

Warning: If you go over the fence, there is no returning back. Your thought process will change forever (for the good in my view).

I also recommend Dawkins' follow-up book, "The Extended Phenotype." Dawkins' most popular writing may be on atheism and the critique of religion, but I think his greatest contributions were really found in this book plus The Selfish Gene. Though as a caveat, "The Extended Phenotype" requires some more technical sophistication in evolutionary biology than Selfish Gene.
Note, of course, that he was wrong about the gene being the unit of selection. Selection happens at an organismal level. As we've come to understand the interconnectedness of the genome, this has become even more clear. Dawkins' ideas generated a lot of debate among evolutionary biologists in the 1980s, but have largely fallen out of favor. They're just too simplistic to reflect reality.
I thought the modern view of natural selection is that it occurs at multiple levels - gene, individual organism, group selection, etc.
There's evidence that selection happens at the organismal level (duh) and at the species level, but nothing else. There's some weak evidence that it can happen at levels above species (genus, family, etc), but it's not super well supported.

The question of population-level selection (what you've called group selection) is more contentious, although it shouldn't be. The grandpa of our field, E.O. Wilson, whom we all adore and wish we could constantly hug, loves the idea. Sadly, evidence doesn't love it. Like, there's basically none. There's no real theoretical underpinnings that would make it possible, either, because there's just too much gene flow between demes (...partially isolated breeding populations) to allow selection to happen.

Glad that somebody pointed that out. IMO, if somebody wants to get a quick overview of genetics, their time would be much better spent watching lectures 4-7 from Sapolsky's Human Behavioural Biology lectures [1]. In those 4 lectures Sapolsky's explores contradicting theories about (among other things) the unit of selection and gradualism. Highly recommend the whole series.

[1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dRXA1_e30o&list=PL150326949...

This is news to me. I didn't realise Dawkins' theory had been so thoroughly refuted. What's the evidence for this?
> I didn't realise Dawkins' theory had been so thoroughly refuted.

It has not. The "battle lines" between the "Dawkins school" and the "Gould school" were established in the 1970s and 1980s, and they are pretty much the same still. Each school probably thinks they refuted the other one decades ago already.

Also the majority of biologists don't give these much thought either way.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene-centered_view_of_evolutio...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gene-centered_view_of_evolutio...

Don’t trust a word Gould writes unless you have the time to check each individual reference.

http://web.mit.edu/krugman/www/evolute.html

> What I encountered were quite a few references to Stephen Jay Gould, hardly any to other evolutionary theorists. Now it is not very hard to find out, if you spend a little while reading in evolution, that Gould is the John Kenneth Galbraith of his subject. That is, he is a wonderful writer who is bevolved by literary intellectuals and lionized by the media because he does not use algebra or difficult jargon. Unfortunately, it appears that he avoids these sins not because he has transcended his colleagues but because he does does not seem to understand what they have to say; and his own descriptions of what the field is about - not just the answers, but even the questions - are consistently misleading. His impressive literary and historical erudition makes his work seem profound to most readers, but informed readers eventually conclude that there's no there there.

https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/BahoNzY2pzSeM2Dtk/beware-of-...

> If you've read anything Stephen J. Gould has ever said about evolutionary biology, I have some bad news for you. In the field of evolutionary biology at large, Gould's reputation is mud. Not because he was wrong. Many honest scientists have made honest mistakes. What Gould did was much worse, involving deliberate misrepresentation of science.

neither of those quotes, written by people who are not biologists, actually demonstrate how Gould is supposedly wrong. I find it ironic that they are the ones accusing Gould of politicizing evolutionary biology, but they are the ones doing the politicizing.
http://nathancofnas.com/what-prominent-biologists-think-of-s...

What Prominent Biologists Think of Stephen Jay Gould Many nonspecialists believe that Stephen Jay Gould was the preeminent evolutionary theorist of the 20th century. His The Mismeasure of Man might be the most widely read book on biology/evolution among scholars in the humanities. But people specializing in the fields in which Gould pontificated generally had a poor opinion of his scholarship.

Bernard D. Davis (1983)

It is…not surprising that Gould’s history of the efforts to measure human intelligence, The Mismeasure of Man, received many glowing reviews in the popular and literary press, and even a National Book Critics Circle award. Yet the reviews that have appeared in scientific journals, focusing on content rather than on style or on political appeal, have been highly critical of both the book’s version of history and its scientific arguments. The paradox is striking. If a scholar wrote a tendentious history of medicine that began with phlebotomy and purges, moved on to the Tuskegee experiment on syphilitic Negroes, and ended with the thalidomide disaster, he would convince few people that medicine is all bad, and he would ruin his reputation. So we must ask: Why did Gould write a book that fits this model all too closely? Why were most reviewers so uncritical? And how can non-scientific journals improve their reviews of books on scientific aspects of controversial political issues?

John Maynard Smith (1995)

Gould occupies a rather curious position, particularly on his side of the Atlantic. Because of the excellence of his essays, he has come to be seen by non-biologists as the preeminent evolutionary theorist. In contrast, the evolutionary biologists with whom I have discussed his work tend to see him as a man whose ideas are so confused as to be hardly worth bothering with, but as one who should not be publically criticised because he is at least on our side against the creationists. All this would not matter, were it not that he is giving non-biologists a largely false picture of the state of evolutionary biology.

Ernst Mayr (2000)

Skeptic: You developed your theory of allopatric speciation in the 1940s and 1950s. In the 1970s Niles Eldredge and Stephen Jay Gould applied that to the fossil record and called it punctuated equilibrium. Was this just a spin-off from what you had already done? What was new in punctuated equilibrium?

Mayr: I published that theory in a 1954 paper (“Change of Genetic Environment and Evolution,” in Huxley, J., A.C. Hardy, and E.B. Ford, Eds., Evolution as a Process, London: Allen and Unwin), and I clearly related it to paleontology. Darwin argued that the fossil record is very incomplete because some species fossilize better than others. But what I derived from my research in the South Sea Islands is that in these isolated little populations it is much easier to make a genetic restructuring because when the numbers are small it takes rather few steps to become a new species. A small local population that changes very rapidly. I noted that you are never going to find evidence of a small local population that changed very rapidly in the fossil record. My essential point was that gradual populational shifts in founder populations appear in the fossil record as gaps.

Skeptic: Isn’t that what Eldredge and Gould argued in their 1972 paper, citing your 1963 book Animal Species and Evolution several times?

Mayr: Gould was my course assistant at Harvard where I presented this theory again and again for three years. So he knew it thoroughly. So did Eldredge. In fact, in his 1971 paper Eldredge credited me with it. But that was lost over time.

E. O. Wilson (2011)

I believe Gould was a charlatan….I believe that he was…seeking reputation and credibility as a scientist and writer, and he did it consistently by distorting what other scientists were say...

Again, I find it really funny that these guys are politicizing the guy who they claim to be politicizing science. All of this critique is criticism of character and of rhetorical style.

As an aside, I also think it's funny that you could easily* substitute the name Gould for Feynman in each of these criticisms, but somehow Feynman is considered a demi-god among physicists for having the same 'character flaws' and rhetorical flair.

Your first criticism was that Krugman and Yudkowsky weren’t biologists, so I found multiple examples of biologists saying Gould was untrustworthy. Now you’re claiming that the critics of Gould are politicising science. This is a bit rich seeing as Gould always put his politics above science.

Comparing Feynman to Gould is distasteful. They may both have been blowhards, self publicists and excellent writers but only one of them launched campaigns of harassment against other researchers. You could not easily substitute Feynman for Gould in these criticisms. Feynman never wrote anything as dishonest as Mismeasure of Man.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Jay_Gould

> Opposition to sociobiology and evolutionary psychology Gould also had a long-running public feud with E. O. Wilson and other evolutionary biologists concerning the disciplines of human sociobiology and evolutionary psychology, both of which Gould and Lewontin opposed, but which Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, and Steven Pinker advocated.[93] These debates reached their climax in the 1970s, and included strong opposition from groups such as the Sociobiology Study Group and Science for the People.[94] Pinker accuses Gould, Lewontin, and other opponents of evolutionary psychology of being "radical scientists", whose stance on human nature is influenced by politics rather than science.

If you would like to back up your claim that the same criticisms could be made of Feynman as of Gould here are the summaries. I’m sure the parallel statements will be easy to find if you’re right about Feynman.

Krugman: Gould was a good writer but vastly more respected outside his field than in it because he was a good writer more than a good scientist.

Yudkowsky: Gould wrote multiple books in which he acted as if other peoples’ life’s work was unknown to him, pawning off their intellectual work as his own, pretending that the field was in a state of confusion and that he, the towering genius, had brought closure and clarity.

Davis: Gould wrote a book of breathtaking intellectual dishonesty that was looked upon with favour in the popular press and panned by experts writing for other experts.

Smith: His ideas are so confused as to be unworthy of discussion but outsiders think he’s a genius of the field because he can write well.

Mayr: One of Gould’s only actual claims to originality was a trivial extension of work dating back either to the founder of the field or to a course taught to undergraduates in which he was a teaching assistant.

Wilson: Gould was a charlatan who dishonestly and repeatedly mischaracterised the work of other scientists.

Lewontin: Gould would take reasonable ideas and caricature them to the point they were plainly wrong.

Trivers: Gould was an intellectual fraud.

> Your first criticism was that Krugman and Yudkowsky weren’t biologists, so I found multiple examples of biologists saying Gould was untrustworthy. Now you’re claiming that the critics of Gould are politicising science. This is a bit rich seeing as Gould always put his politics above science.

And they are guilty of the exact same non-arguments. Doesn't matter if they are scientists or non-scientists, the criticisms are exactly the same.

>> Opposition to sociobiology and evolutionary psychology Gould also had a long-running public feud with E. O. Wilson and other evolutionary biologists concerning the disciplines of human sociobiology and evolutionary psychology, both of which Gould and Lewontin opposed, but which Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, and Steven Pinker advocated.[93] These debates reached their climax in the 1970s, and included strong opposition from groups such as the Sociobiology Study Group and Science for the People.[94] Pinker accuses Gould, Lewontin, and other opponents of evolutionary psychology of being "radical scientists", whose stance on human nature is influenced by politics rather than science.

Again, where's the real critique of opposition to sociobiology? There are actually numerous flaws with sociobiology and evo-psych, which you seem to just dismiss out of hand as made up lies. The interdisciplinary fields of Science and Technology Studies and Sociology of Scientific Knowledge, which Gould was drawing from (though not necessarily in an optimal manner) provide sober critiques of the authority of science and of the political nature of knowledge and knowledge production. These fields look at how scientific practice is actually done and draw out mechanisms through which knowledge is produced through the interactions between people, prior knowledge and beliefs, objects of experimentation or evaluation, goals, pragmatic circumstances, 'grey' and information infrastructures, and community norms and expectations. Take a look at Epistemic Cultures (https://www.worldcat.org/title/epistemic-cultures-how-the-sc...) for a great example of such work, which compares scientific practice among high-energy physicists and molecular biologists, who follow very different trajectories in the formulation of new ideas, according to their circumstances and needs.

Gould's work is along similar lines.

One major critique of the Mismeasure of Man is that Gould dredges up long-dead hypotheses about race. However, these claims are in fact not dead, and have real impact on the world today. As an archaeologist, I can relate. Laypeople still think that archaeology does and believes things that have been debunked and shifted away from decades ago, things that 'prove' the inferiority of some races or that fuel nationalist and racist agendas. The thing is, people who are devising racist and nationalist policy are generally not intellectually honest, and don't care to actually read up on why or how these claims are wrong. They find an article from 1934 that supports their views and they go with it, and dismiss any criticism as coming from ""radical scientists", whose stance on human nature is influenced by politics rather than science.". Mismeasure of Man is clearly a popular non-fiction book geared towards educating laypeople about the flaws of race science, with the hope that people will recognize when policy is being enacted based on shitty science and oppose it when they do.

I’m glad we’ve come to an agreement that Gould was on at least one occasion a tendentious writer and that you’ve withdrawn your claim that Feynman was anything like him. I’m going to bow out here. Good luck with your archaeological work.
I am not asserting that he is tendentious. I'm writing that his public outreach work is a necessary part of being a scientist, as it helps improve public understanding of valid and invalid knowledge, and helps hold its improper use to account. You're trying to split the difference regarding your original claims, but you're just plain wrong.
I never took back a word of my original claims though I did respond to your further claims in response, always backing them up with quotes and citations.

Below you or any other future readers may find a guide to the many faults in The Mismeasure of Man, all of which misunderstandings, distortions and deliberate omissions tended certain ways which supported Gould’s politics, though not the truth.

https://www.mdpi.com/2079-3200/7/1/6

Stephen Jay Gould’s Analysis of the Army Beta Test in The Mismeasure of Man: Distortions and Misconceptions Regarding a Pioneering Mental Test

> 5.1 Gould’s Judgments of the Army Beta Among the many topics of negative analysis in Stephen Jay Gould’s The Mismeasure of Man [1] is the Army Beta test. Although not the most prominent section of Gould’s text, his 23-page passage on the Army Beta is typical of his style in the book. Throughout the book, Gould criticized early scientists who studied individual and group differences of being misled by preconceived notions based on their social beliefs—instead of the data. Yet, Gould himself was motivated to write The Mismeasure of Man by his strong political and social beliefs, which guided him to present his text describing the early intelligence scientists as blinded by their prejudices [4,7,12,50]. Given Gould’s pervasively incorrect statements in The Mismeasure of Man about the Army Beta, factor analysis [3], the place of intelligence testing in the immigration debates of the 1920s [5,9,10], the biological basis for intelligence [4,8,9], and the questions regarding Gould’s analysis of Morton’s work [11–14], we wonder whether there is any section of The Mismeasure of Man that is factually accurate. Like other sections of The Mismeasure of Man, when Gould wrote about the Army Beta, he omitted relevant information that contradicted his preconceived beliefs and misinterpreted data in order to portray the study of individual human differences as ideological pseudoscience. Contrary to Gould’s claims, the Army Beta’s content, instructions, and time limits were all appropriate for a group-administered intelligence test a hundred years ago. We believe we have also demonstrated that the Army Beta very likely measured intelligence, given the results of multiple confirmatory factor analyses and the positive correlations with external criteria (both during World War I and in modern times).

I never claimed you took back any of your own claims. But you did misrepresent mine. Your quotes and citations do not support your argument in any way, and are therefore irrelevant.

I did not read the entire article you just posted, but it is worth noting that it misrepresents Mismeasure of Man as clinical research itself, rather than a historical and theoretical critique which it is, and holds improper standards against it (which is very funny because that's exactly what they claim Gould is guilty of!). Historical research is certainly biased, and that's okay. Historical research depends on omission as a crucial feature, otherwise how would you write a book about a focused topic? The two kinds of work have different kinds of data and follow different argumentation strategies, yet the authors of this paper expect otherwise. This is unreasonable and demonstrates a clear lack of understanding regarding what history is, and I have a hard time taking them seriously as a result.

Dawkins is amazingly lucid when he sticks to topics he knows very well. “The Selfish Gene” and “The Extended Phenotype” were world altering for me. Like integral calculus, I rarely have cause to apply the concept in the domain in which it was described, but the understanding that his conveyance of the material shaped in me is something I feel in my thinking every day, more than two decades later.

“The Mating Mind” by Geoffrey Miller (another biologist who would do the world a favor by sticking to his domain of expertise) came to me more recently but has left a similar impression. It impeccably elaborates upon the power of sexual selection and how it intertwines with natural selection.

Yeah, that was a biggie for me, until I read "Darwinian Fairytales" by David Stove. Everyone who has read Dawkins needs to have a look at this.

A philosopher has a look at what Dawkins actually says and realizes it is basically medieval demonology dressed up in pseudoscientific verbiage.

Hmm, I'll check that Darwinian Fairytales out. However, I must say, I've read Alas, Poor Darwin: Arguments against Evolutionary Psychology, to see what critics of Dawkins and evolutionary psychology had to say, and found it rather poor.

So, for now, my considered view is that Dawkins has many interesting insightful things to say, while his critics are often attacking straw men.

> "Darwinian Fairytales" by David Stove

The search engine coughed up a PDF. I randomly opened it (p. 173) and read up to this author-provided "TL;DR" on p.176:

The main reason, however, for thinking that sociobiology is false, is the simple one I gave at the beginning: that it is obvious that human beings are the most intelligent and capable things on earth. But genes are not human. Therefore (etc.).

Uhhhm. Really?

Well, it might make more sense in context. You can't litterally read a random sentence on a random page of a book and expect to have a reasonable opinion on its quality.
Seconded. I actually read "The Blind Watchmaker" first and that had just as big an impact on me. As someone else said, no going back after reading it. It also gave me the confidence to realise I was actually an atheist, not an apologetic agnostic!
What's the big deal and why are so many people raving about this book? Can someone summarize the key points in a paragraph or two?
(comment deleted)
just go for it man, yolo.

tldr: Talk about how genes influence organism, is like reading animal planet

"Silence" by John Cage. Before it, I thought of Zen as an abstraction; after reading it, I saw how it could be (and ought to be) a way of life.
"The Dawn of Day" by Nietzsche. It turned me into an atheist at the tender age of 15.