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Ask HN: Is anyone else career-apathetic?

4 points by siruncledrew ↗ HN
I feel like a shit person. I just can't bring myself to care about having a traditional job. I've worked at startups before and now I work at a corporate job - thinking the stability and change of pace would make a difference. It hasn't. In both cases I end up in the same bottomless pit without direction or motivation.

For lack of a better way to describe it, I just can't function as an 'employee'. I can't deal with having a boss and a manager that I have to listen to. I'm not enthusiastic about being another face in a building working to support some business that isn't mine that I don't really care about. I am polite and courteous to my co-workers, but they don't particularly interest me, and I am not intrinsically motivated to be their 'buddy'. I hate having to deal with strict schedules, mandatory meetings, and listening to people drone on about nonsense to feel like they contributed something. I don't even have the desire to bring up ideas for work anymore because I don't even care if we do them; plus management isn't particularly interested in following ideas that don't come from their own mouths. I feel like being an employee is more like being a child that sits there waiting for their parents to give them chores. I feel like a mindless drone that goes to temporary prison everyday before going to home to loathe to myself until I have to do it again the next day.

I don't know what to do. I'm just not interested in having a career track of working away at a job to maybe get recognized or get a pay bump. I am tired of hating work.

It's not that I don't do the work; I do the work to a quality standard that people appreciate, but it just gives me no satisfaction or fulfillment in return. If I'm just being an asshole, I will own up to it. Maybe it's burnout, depression, indifference, or some other combination. My apologies in advance for the stream of consciousness.

Has anyone else ever dealt with this? What did you do? What was the outcome?

2 comments

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mancerayder
Motivation is to pay rent or mortgage, money for hobbies, leisure, travel and so on. If you are already independently wealthy (and I'm not saying this sarcastically), then I can understand the ennui.

On the other hand your attitude is slightly negative. When I first read your second paragraph, it sounded like you're the independent type, but also an introverted type. Take it from me, job skills are much more than programming or project management or such skills, even management. They are

. Dealing with people that you don't necessarily feel strongly positive about

. Dealing with projects you're not passionate about

. Dealing with being managed sometimes poorly (there are a number of ways to be a bad manager).

By "dealing" I mean emotionally, not walking around angrily or sadly while still managing the above things. I assure you, with responsibilities (like a mortgage), suddenly the motivation for tolerating this goes up. Also, by "dealing" I mean telling yourself it's temporary, and finding ways to improve the situation: one example is to spot a more interesting project or role in the company and try to gun for it. Or finding a better role in a company that doesn't have the limitations of the current. Etc.

I feel like being an employee is more like being a child that sits there waiting for their parents to give them chores. I feel like a mindless drone that goes to temporary prison everyday before going to home to loathe to myself until I have to do it again the next day.

I don't know what to do. I'm just not interested in having a career track of working away at a job to maybe get recognized or get a pay bump. I am tired of hating work.

You need to not be a micromanaged or "fateful" employee. Work in a startup (again), which will automatically give you more responsibility and power. Gun for management (see above about "dealing") and be patient til you get it. Find a company that values your independence. Certainly I hate sitting and waiting for tasks, so I, an introvert (although you'd never know it) have adapted by being fairly aggressive in seeking out getting what I want, both inside companies and outside. I don't wait around, I assert what should be done, and with patience I get respected enough to get it. Believe me, it took me some tries to get that down right politically, but you'd be surprised by how much that is respected.

Hope that helps.

mneil
Yup, I felt similar just 6 months ago. I quit my job and changed what I did and love it. I went from being an engineering manager to being an engineering consultant working in entirely different lines of business.

The skills are the same, the pay is slightly better, but the work is more rewarding for me right now.

When I had my last job it didn't seem that bad while I was there. I didn't enjoy it, I felt useless, but I kept going. I kept expecting things to change or to get better. They didn't.

It turned out the job just wasn't for me. I also work remote now as I had in the past for several years running my own business.

Maybe it's not you, maybe it's where you work or what you work on.