This is for the fat ones: what changed it?

I personally don't believe in "it's up to you", "just exercise self-control". I have phases where I'm fat and after years of being fat, something clicks and I will lose weight extremely fast (intermittent fasting mainly, diet + sports later), and I tend to fall out of those phases & habits at some point. Then I get fat again, and at some point, it clicks again and I start losing again. It's loosely coupled to mental health for me, but that might be different for everybody.

What helps me: identify circumstances and substances that make me eat too much (no alcohol, no thc), avoiding overly stressful days on the job (no, I won't finish this tonight and sustain myself on snickers bars), and medication. I know a few people who slowly sank into depression and never realized that the way they are feeling isn't "the normal state". Medication (legal or otherwise) can help in those instances - it does for me.

It might for you, too. Speak to your doctor about it, and don't be afraid of drugs. Side-effects are shit, but it sure beats sitting in the corner for three years contemplating suicide until you one day magically wake up and get better. Another thing: alcohol, sugar & other drugs are often used to self-medicate.

God, I sound like a big pharma shill, but I really mean it.

The way most people go wrong in weight loss is that they think of it in terms of problem-solution. I’ll do X thing, then problem Y will be solved and I can go back to regular life. This will never work.

You need to instead completely change your mindset and identity. Start by getting rid of the notion that you’re “someone who’s been overweight your whole life.” It keeps you thinking that any changes are temporary and that the “real you” is overweight and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Experiment.

Try keto dieting. (Even if you aren't insulin resistant, the inherent menu rules can prevent mindless cheating).

Try intermittent fasting. Alternate day feeding, 5:2 alternating fast, fasting mimicking diet (FMD).

Try time-restricted feeding: limit feeding to a 10-hour window or less. 4-hour is optimal, but difficult.

In any case, carbohydrate in non-natural forms should be avoided first.

Things improved permanently when I became scientifically convinced that carbohydrates are not food for humans.

I went from obese to slim and have remained that way for years now.

The actual loss of weight was a tough slog of exercise, severe caloric restriction and muscle-building.

I don't know how helpful this will be, but I was overweight (not quite obese) from about age 8 to 24. At 24 I had a major personal event (end of a long-term relationship and end of my life as I had it "planned"). I can't say this was completely a conscious choice, but I turned to exercise as a way to cope. I had always been somewhat active (into sports), but now I got into jogging,then running, then weight lifting. It was therapeutic. I lost a lot of weight. Too much, at one point (hence the weightlifting). Point being, I'm in my late thirties now and have kept it off despite that initial emotional motivation being long gone (I'm happily married with kids, love my life). I don't know that I could have done it without the initial emotional shock, but I do know that before that I thought being fat was part of who I was, and I now know that clearly wasn't true.

I just read this [0] this morning and thought it was thoughtful. Hope it helps.

[0] https://medium.com/not-another-diet/not-another-diet-6a86abe...

I kept trying different ways to psyche myself into losing weight and being fit. Some worked for a while, and then I had to switch. The most effective was starting body weight workouts, the first time I had ever tried weight training. I didn't try to improve my diet, but the observation of its impact on performance lead me to go meat-heavy, instead of fluffy pizza/burrito food. I can pig out to the max as long as it's on Five Guys, not Chipotle (two side by side options in my neighborhood). That probably improved my mentality over food overall, and I've taken to often choosing "the second option" over what I want: Diet Coke over Coke, peanuts over fries, no queso over queso, one slice of pizza over two. But this wasn't a top-down decision. Edit: Also, workouts changed the mentality from "don't be a fatlard" to "be 99th percentile in fitness" which is perfectly attainable, and positively motivating.

I've struggled with my weight my entire adult life. Ups and downs, diets and exercise. In the last six months I think I finally found a method that works for me and can be maintained indefinitely. (I'm down about 60 pounds now.)

To start with, I ceased trying to control my eating. I could do it for quite awhile, but eventually I'd get sick or something would happen and I'd fall off the wagon. Studies on the subject say that caloric restriction doesn't work in the long-term. Instead I just altered my diet. I can eat whatever I want, as long as 80% of what I eat is vegetables (corn and potatoes are excluded from "vegetables" as they are extremely starchy.) My breakfast is frequently two scrambled eggs and a gallon zip-loc baggy fully of peppers, onions and mushrooms. Try to avoid carbs, but don't kill yourself doing so. Sometimes I'll have oatmeal for breakfast instead (with a bunch of veg.) For some godawful reason, "Dietary Fiber" is put under the umbrella of carbs. They don't count because your body can't digest them. Subtract the amount of fiber from the carb count. That's the number you should care about. When in doubt, consult a diabetic website, those folks are magicians at avoiding carbs. Not all carbs are equal, refined sugar and fructose are the worst, so avoid them like the plague.

I exercise every day. I enjoy playing video games, so I got a recumbent exercise bike and I only play video games while exercising. It took me awhile to build up stamina, but now I'll do an hour in the morning before work, and an hour after work. If I'm sick or not feeling well, I get on the bike anyway, and when I feel like I'm suffering, I stop. Make it a habit. As long as I only play video games while exercising, I stopped budgeting for video games. I simply buy whatever I want because now it's a health expense.

I prioritize sleep above all else. Above work, above relationships. Sleep first. If you have insurance, get a sleep study done and see if you can improve your sleep further. Studies suggest that sleep is a more important factor than what you eat, even.

I try to lift weights two or three times a week. I spent a long time overthinking weight lifting. Programs and styles and such. Find something heavy and move it around until you're tired. You don't need to be Mr. Universe, just strain your muscles a bit.

Finally, forgive yourself for fucking up, because you will fuck up. Don't beat yourself up for it. Guilt held me back for a long time.

I never exercised before I turned 31. I also got fat after I turned 30. Not obese, but 20 lbs north of normal bmi range.

I quickly turned around after a friend of mine shamed me for looking like a over inflated balloon. Here's my advice:

1. You can't run in front of bad diet. Unless you are exercising as much as Michael Phelps does and losing 10,000 calories, don't look at exercise at weight reducing instrument.

2. Learn to eat slow. Really slow. Wait for few seconds between bites and chew longer. Give your body a chance to send a full signal.

3. Aim to eat only a small portion at a time. If you are eating out, divide food into smaller partitions and only eat one partition at at time.

4. Don't be afraid of throwing food away. It's unfortunate that there are kids in africa starving, but that doesn't mean you have a get a diabetes for them.

5. If you feel like it, start exercising. But just because you walked for 30 mins, doesn't mean you are entitled to can of coke, a cookie, or a piece of pie. No. Walking 30 mins doesn't even burn 1/2 can of coke.

6. Remember it's not what you eat, it's how much you eat. Don't start a fucking buzz word diet to lose weight, just eat little bit less and let you body adjust and tighten your stomach so you will be less and less hungry as time passes.

7. One last thing, eat only when you are hungry. Learn to say no to food. Just because there's a cookie or a candy or a piece of pizza lying around, doesn't mean you have to shove it down your throat. Just because it's noon, doesn't mean you have eat lunch. Just because it's 6PM doesn't mean you have to eat dinner. If you have to wake up at 1AM and eat a sandwich, but don't eat dinner if you are not hungry.

> What made you change the way you think/feel in a profound way...

You may be suffering from a hormonal issue. Peter Attia breaksdown the difference between an how an obese person processes food, and how a normal person does. > https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tiQevGDPgRY

You lose weight by consuming less.

Cut all calories from your drinks. Water, black coffee, unsweetened tea only. Eat a reasonable sized plate of food for your meals. Favor protein and vegetables over starchy-carby-french-fryish things. Don't eat deserts. No pie, no donuts, no candy. No snacks between meals. You will look like a different person in 1 year.

Exercise improves the strength of your heart and other muscles. It even improves your nervous system. And you will look better. It's very important to exercise your body. but it's not the main driver of weight loss. You simply don't burn very many calories through exercise.

When i was looking in a mirror i didn't like myself, i wasn't beautiful for me. Though my family tried to assure me that i'm beautiful the way i was but i hated myself. So i though i need to change myself! I looked thousand pictures on google of beautiful girls, and i took a picture of a girl who's body was just perfect for me. Then i started to go to the gym. At first it was difficult, but day by day i liked it. Also i noticed that my headaches are gone since i'm going to the gym. When i wanted to give up i always had a picture of a perfect girl from internet. And it encouraged me. So it's already a year that i'm going to the gym, i like myself, i feel more confident and i enjoy my every day! So make a challenge and do it

Or find a friend who'll share it with you. Go to the gym together and encourage each other. Or take a blog like a diary, let your followers encourage you with their experiences. Show the world your experience and maybe you'll help someone like you.

Forget all the tips, and find an activity and healthy food that you enjoy. You wouldn't advise someone to power through a career they hate. Being healthy shouldn't be hard either. You should want to do the activity, push yourself as part of the game, and it becomes a lifestyle.

I love martial arts, I love steak, I'm king of the buffet. You can see my abs and my weight stays within the same 10 lbs band since I reached adult size. If I don't work out for a week I can see the fat layer up, but it goes away with just one work out. I can only imagine how I'd look if I were someone who doesn't exercise and eats poorly.

Also lucky me I don't really crave bread or sugars.

Massively increasing protein intake as a percentage of calories and eating one meal a day. Keto is good but just loading up on fat is basically counterproductive to expending any. Protein is just so much more satiating, plus I've gained a noticeable amount of muscle (picked up StrongLifts 5x5 last fall), which helps raise BMR / TDEE a little bit.

I basically realized if a meal doesn't have enough protein in it, it won't satisfy me, and I'll quickly be hungry again. I don't mind carbs in moderation, and sometimes I'll crave e.g. a meaty sandwich after a good workout, which is imo basically fine. I used to be much more strict about avoiding carbs like the plague. But what I usually go for after a workout is a 75g protein vanilla whey + water shake.

The crazy part is that the FDA recommends 50g per day for a man like me eating 2000 kcal/day (I'd probably have a bit more than 2000 but I've been loose with measuring it recently); my rule of thumb is get 1g of protein per lb of lean body mass - I realize this is over the amount some studies recommend as the maximum utilizable protein/lb LBM, but it just works for me, so I'm gonna keep it up.

1. It's not a race. Make small changes that you believe you can do for the rest of your life. Try each change for at least a week before introducing new changes, and keep monitoring old changes to make sure you're doing them. If you make a big change like a whole diet plan, you likely won't stick with it. And time-bound plans are useless: people who do 30-day diets are usually fatter six months later. The best plan is the one that you actually do, and keep doing.

2. Diet to lose weight. Exercise to feel/look good, and become more capable. When you look into how many calories various exercises burn versus how many calories are in even small portions of foods, it becomes clear that it take vast amounts of exercise to burn the same amount of calories as a small reduction in caloric intake.

3. Look into mindful eating. Slow your eating. Don't do other things while you eat, like watching TV or reading: just eat, and pay attention to your food. Enjoy your food (which increases satiation)!

4. This is more my own personal experience than anything I have evidence for, but changes that are clear and don't require a lot of research to enforce work well. Gathering caloric information on everything you consume is prohibitively difficult, but things like "no caloric drinks" and "no red meat" are clear rules that eliminate some large sources of empty calories. Those might not be the right rules for you, they're just examples of things you might try.

5. Consider adding portions of low-calorie foods whenever you reduce portions of high-calorie foods, as this makes it easier to feel full. Carrots, bok choi, and arugula have worked pretty well for me, and you can eat virtually unlimited quantities of these without consuming significant calories.

I've never been anywhere near obese, having been skinny and malnourished all my life, but I do have much experience indulging in self-destructive behavior such as eating and drinking junk to sate my depression-fueled cravings. My normal weight for my height before was around 120-125 pounds, but I found that I had become 145lbs at some point two or so years into my depressive state. I wasn't working and I didn't have enough money to eat a well rounded diet. Ultimately, instead of spending my money wisely, I bought junk that could sate my cravings and give me short-lived kicks of joy. Long term health doesn't really matter for someone who was planning to die. I believe this is very much a mental fight. I was not someone who cared to weigh myself regularly because I had a consistent idea of who I was and how I look. I didn't know or even could tell I was gaining weight, because I avoided even looking at my reflection. I avoided even turning on the light in the bathroom to avoid seeing myself clearly. Then the day I finally decided to weigh myself, seeing that I had become 145 pounds was a punch in the throat. This isn't me. That was what made me start living healthier again. I started by doing stretches everyday. Then I added a few pushups and squats here and there. It's good to have a routine and schedule so that you can discipline yourself. A undisciplined person will choose to sate his cravings every time, with any excuse necessary. He will make himself depressed if he has to even if he wasn't feeling that bad that day, to create the conditions necessary for him to justify his shitty decisions. Even if you can't go to the gym, stretch for 10 minutes every night or in the morning. You don't have to change your diet right away, I didn't do that. Start by changing the portion size, start by adding healthier stuff and maybe trying to eat that before you eat whatever you normally eat, so you'll be too full to have eaten too much of the bad stuff. Forget the diet, just use common sense. If you're stretching every day, controlling your portions, and gradually eating less every week, then you're on a good path. Gaining discipline will give you more confidence, and you'll start to want to add more to your routine. Just stretching gets boring right? To summarize, it's a mental battle. There's no diet plan, workout regime, or any other trick that can save you. Because the way you are, you will find a way to justify doing bad things instead of good things. Good luck.

For me, it seems like the reason I was content to stay fat was that I didn't have any real motivation to lose weight other than people being assholes to me. What eventually changed that was finding an athletic hobby where the easiest way to improve was to lose weight.

I engage in my hobby 3 days a week for 2-3 hours, and knowing that my present self will have to answer to my future self for why they're so heavy on those days, as well as weighing myself every day and counting calories, helps keeps me honest.

As others have said, this is a lifestyle change. You will never be able to stop doing whatever it is you end up doing to lose weight without getting fat again. Anyone telling you different is a liar. There is no such thing as "permanent" weight loss, the weight is always waiting, always watching, waiting to pounce on you if you let your guard down.

I can't even honestly tell you that it is worth it in the end. People like to sell you this idea that being not-fat will somehow make your life vastly better and you'll be happy, but that just isn't how it works. It actually kinda sucks because you end up associating the enjoyment of food with hating yourself later. All you'll be is in better shape, anything else is a different problem.

If you like to shop for food, buy higher-quality versions of everything. Buy the expensive fair-trade chocolate instead of the plastic bag of chocolate muffins, or the chocolate bar from the vending machine. Or go to a vegetarian restaurant instead of the burger chain.

These measures will reduce your budget for food, especially when your amount of money you can spend in a month is constrained. But you will eat higher quality ingredients and this alone will have a small beneficial impact on your body. Even if you do this to only a certain degree (you still buy junk food once a week, say) it will be beneficial, but more in a subtle way. You might even lose some weight this way, but don't expect too much.

Take a close look at "light" products or "fat reduced" products they are often more expensive and still contain _lower-quality_ ingredients. This also holds for many "vegan" products als well (margarine re-labeled as "vegan butter" for instance)

Rotisserie chicken. Buy one every other day without any sides. Eat half a chicken, dark meat for lunch, white meat for dinner (or vice versa), with a bunch of greens along the way (spinach, broccoli, etc).

Learn to experience hunger on a daily basis. Wait until you have that churning empty stomach feeling before you eat. Then, eat enough of decent food to satisfy it and stop.

(Late in, but just wanted to add a viewpoint/suggestion I've not seen already, in case it's helpful to you.)

Simply: I don't think there's a 'one size fits all' approach you can rely on.

I've been mildly overweight for years - not obese, but heavier than I wanted to be, and heavier than is healthy. I've tried various weight loss approaches, on and off: healthy eating, calorie counting, WeightWatchers-style points counting, keto, slow-carb (Tim Ferriss' approach), and the 5:2 diet, all combined with exercise. Aside from keto, none of these worked for me past a couple of weeks - I'd lose the motivation, and drift back to old ways. Living a social lifestyle involving alcohol and eating out fairly regularly helped with this. (Keto was interesting, but my blood lipid values looked quite bad after a few weeks, so I gave it up; YMMV).

What I then discovered is that my individual psychology seems to work much better with strict but easy-to-follow rules in place, rather than a constant battle of trying to not eat the tasty food. So what worked for me was daily intermittent fasting. I don't eat a single calorie until lunchtime (~12 or 1pm) - one or two black coffees work amazingly for removing the hunger pangs. Then have a nice big lunch (making it reasonably big is actually important, as you'll have been fasting for 16-18 hrs; if I eat too small, I'll get hunger pangs mid-afternoon). Then follow it up with a decent early dinner - if I'm being strict, I'll finish eating within a 6 hour window, or relax that to 8 or 9 hour window if life dictates.

This works great for me - I lose weight quite easily if I'm strict for the 6-hour window, and maintain weight if I'm a bit less strict. Also, an unexpected bonus of the window effect is that you'll automatically limit calories, by only eating two meals a day - more is virtually impossible. And it's self-limiting - if you have a particularly large lunch, you'll still be quite full 5-6 hours later, so will have a smaller dinner.

There is already a treasure trove of info in the comments. So let me try not to repeat and give only what I have learned recently.

I had lost weight sometime back (around 40 pounds, give to take). Life got in the way and got a bit lazy. A few years flash by and I am climbing back to where I was previously.

My lifestyle had been slowly slipping back to old unhealthy ways. So I had to relearn all the habits again. I am 2 months into the change. I am logging my learnings here as much for me as for the OP.

* One can't outrun a bad diet. So exercise by itself cannot help you lose weight.

* But, just calorific restriction makes me terribly miserable, obsessive and depressed.

* Exercise can boost your endorphins, make you feel good. It has a start and stop time. So everyday, you can feel satisfied that you have done atleast one thing that is healthy. It also helps preserve your muscles as you lose fat.

* So I hit upon a plan. Exercise is just for me to not feel depressed. While diet and calorie restriction can take care of the weight loss.

* With that in mind, I could choose the exercise that I like the most, walking. (Previously, I was more focused on the ones that will aid weight loss the most.)

* Walking (or any exercise) also helped regulate the sleep patterns. Then slowly I started weeding out foods that might not be helpful for me.

* A few weeks in, I added some strength exercises and HIIT.

* The scale is not moving as fast as I would have liked but I do see some changes in the mirror and everyday I could run a bit longer, feel a bit stronger and hopefully, the habits are getting ingrained enough to not fall off the wagon again.

I've never had a BMI above 19 since puberty, so I can't speak as to being overweight. However I did gain (a welcome...) 10 pounds when I moved to the US. I attribute this to:

* my workplace had free candy bars lying around (think Reese's and that kind of stuff)

* bigger portions in restaurants

* temptations for things like cookies and muffins; there were bakeries everywhere on my way to/from work

So I would suggest the opposite thing. Move somewhere with no bakeries or restaurants (rural is good), pick a health conscious workplace or lobby your boss to remove snacks from the building (dangle the health insurance prices carrot if needed). Also you can do a thing I did which is go to work by train, the station was 2 miles from the office. Easy daily workout. I ran instead of walking because the train was usually late.

In summary, you should re-arrange your life to fit your desired weight goal rather than rearrange yourself struggling every day against a life that is clearly pushing back against you.