I like how cultural panic over people and especially youngsters being too causal with sex and having too much of it flopped directly to cultural panic over people and especially youngsters not having enough sex.
I think editors just demand a certain percentage of "X having sex Y" headlines for traffic purposes, and leave it up to the writer to fill in X and Y so that the headline can be justified.
My first thought is that the “incel” crowd will grab on to this, and I wonder if they have a point. My next immediate thought is to wonder if the online social networks that have risen catering to that group might actually be the causative factor - men who feel unable to attract a partner instead find some level of companionship in these groups, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.
I suspect the answer is a bit of both, though. Tech has likely had a profound impact on the dating scene for this generation, and it likely is more difficult for less attractive men to find companionship.
For the purposes of disclosure, I’m a 36-year-old male who met his wife at 14 and married her at 21. My experiences are atypical for my generation, and I feel like I see these issues from an external perspective.
And some other people are not suitable as partners. As in, there are people dating who is profoundly bad idea.
And then there are people who are not in position to have partner, because they work long hours and/or lack privacy. In particular, 80 hours a week working dude in startup with nearly males only employees has zero chance to find a girl, altrough he may be nice and cool dude.
Through, I noticed gender difference in how people talk and think about it all too.
Alternatively, it could mean sexual encounters are becoming more concentrated among a smaller portion of men while people's attractions remain exactly the same. This article goes into some detail about this: https://quillette.com/2019/03/12/attraction-inequality-and-t...
Unattractive men aren’t entitled to anything, sorry. I don’t think the numbers mean people are too restrictive. Honestly, I’m surprised it’s not more polarized.
Disclaimers: I have no sympathy for the plight of the incel community, and anyone who even jokingly desires forced/unwanted relationships or rape deserves way worse than just ostracism.
Still, I take issue with how the word entitlement weaves itself into such debates. What is due is due — how much a certain group yearns for it, or doesn't, is a distraction from whether the group should be granted its desire. It comes with an awful implication, which incels weaponize, that men who are having sex constantly are okay, possibly because they don't feel entitled to it.
This raises nonchalance to a virtue. It simply convinces incels they should become more like the misogynists (like them) who, unlike them, are getting laid. It makes them want to have the eyes of a successful rapist [0]
Nobody is entitled to anything. What few human rights we have were established through social consensus — sometimes as a concession to prevent wider unrest. Sex isn't a human right (though the choice to have it consensually is), mental health is.
Sex is not a human right, but a reasonable pursuit of sex, relationships, marriage etc. very much is. Entitlement has no legitimate place in such a pursuit, simply because it incredibly counterproductive. There's a very real dynamic where being nonchalant about these things makes you more likely to be successful at them, and we shouldn't be dismissing it so quickly.
>Entitlement has no legitimate place in such a pursuit, simply because it incredibly counterproductive.
Entitlement has no place in such a pursuit because entitlement implies a right of ownership, but a human being is not an abstract concept like "liberty" or "happiness" or an inanimate object like a plot of land that lacks agency or can be owned by another person.
No one, regardless of gender, stats or status, is entitled to anything in regards to a relationship with other people. Certainly not to sex.
The problem is "unattractive" is what women think of 80% of men (and that's being generous) in the current dating game.
When you bar a majority of males from a very strong reason to invest in society (wife and kids) , you plant seeds of societal discontent that spill into crime, rebellion, and war.
We're still apes in business suits with instincts bred in radically different environments than the post industrial revolution world. We react to things like social status on a primal level that all the ideologies of the world can't paper over.
Yup. Pretty sure I had far more sex 15-19 than 20-32. Jobs and school and marriage and kids. I think sex and intimacy are critical to the health of my marriage and yet we struggle to make the time.
There could be economic and government factors here. Almost any form of birth control or medical procedure costs money (and kids really do), while many people are trying to just pay rent and eat. And governments seem to have been...motivated...to interfere as much as they can in matters of sex, abortion rights, etc.
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[ 2.8 ms ] story [ 57.1 ms ] threadMy first thought is that the “incel” crowd will grab on to this, and I wonder if they have a point. My next immediate thought is to wonder if the online social networks that have risen catering to that group might actually be the causative factor - men who feel unable to attract a partner instead find some level of companionship in these groups, creating a self-reinforcing cycle.
I suspect the answer is a bit of both, though. Tech has likely had a profound impact on the dating scene for this generation, and it likely is more difficult for less attractive men to find companionship.
For the purposes of disclosure, I’m a 36-year-old male who met his wife at 14 and married her at 21. My experiences are atypical for my generation, and I feel like I see these issues from an external perspective.
And then there are people who are not in position to have partner, because they work long hours and/or lack privacy. In particular, 80 hours a week working dude in startup with nearly males only employees has zero chance to find a girl, altrough he may be nice and cool dude.
Through, I noticed gender difference in how people talk and think about it all too.
Still, I take issue with how the word entitlement weaves itself into such debates. What is due is due — how much a certain group yearns for it, or doesn't, is a distraction from whether the group should be granted its desire. It comes with an awful implication, which incels weaponize, that men who are having sex constantly are okay, possibly because they don't feel entitled to it.
This raises nonchalance to a virtue. It simply convinces incels they should become more like the misogynists (like them) who, unlike them, are getting laid. It makes them want to have the eyes of a successful rapist [0]
Nobody is entitled to anything. What few human rights we have were established through social consensus — sometimes as a concession to prevent wider unrest. Sex isn't a human right (though the choice to have it consensually is), mental health is.
[0]: https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Wyndham_Lewis#Quotes_about_W...
Entitlement has no place in such a pursuit because entitlement implies a right of ownership, but a human being is not an abstract concept like "liberty" or "happiness" or an inanimate object like a plot of land that lacks agency or can be owned by another person.
No one, regardless of gender, stats or status, is entitled to anything in regards to a relationship with other people. Certainly not to sex.
When you bar a majority of males from a very strong reason to invest in society (wife and kids) , you plant seeds of societal discontent that spill into crime, rebellion, and war.
We're still apes in business suits with instincts bred in radically different environments than the post industrial revolution world. We react to things like social status on a primal level that all the ideologies of the world can't paper over.
sure, social networks run by MindGeek
Luckily I'm already married, but it would be a problem otherwise.
I’m pretty sleep deprived since our baby was born. Averaging about 6 hours of sleep a day, with interruptions every 2 hours.