Ask HN: I am depressed. Should I take this PhD fellowship?
Pros:
- Currently I believe that I would be much more interested in doing research than continue working as a software engineer. I really like the idea of trying to solve problems that have not been solved and contributing to (open) science.
- Financially the fellowship is so good that I would earn the same amount of money as my current job. In addition I would not have any other obligations except research.
- The PhD city seems great and I would prefer to live there compared to the city I currently live in.
- I would be able to be a visiting researcher at great labs in cities I would like to visit.
Cons:
- I have been reading for the past weeks that mental health issues are quite common among PhD students[1]. Considering my mental state I am afraid that the PhD will break me mentally.
- I do not want to work in academia in the future. Ideally I would like to work remotely having a balance between research and coding (is this even possible?). This is my biggest concern, because it would not make sense to do it if it would not help me reach this goal.
- Doing a PhD takes a lot of commitment and I am unsure if I will still want to continue doing it in 2 years. If I eventually decided to drop out I would have wasted valuable resources of the scientific community and I do not like this.
- In a PhD you do not actually know where the finish line is. What if the three years pass, my fellowship ends and I have not finished?
[0]: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17081778
[1]: https://www.quora.com/Why-are-PhD-students-so-depressed
17 comments
[ 4.1 ms ] story [ 50.9 ms ] threadIt's huge risk. Almost nothing beats a good mental health, in my eyes.
Why do you feel the Phd is worth this risk ?
1)It would allow me to do research in a field that I find interesting.
2)It would allow me to build up my research skills, enabling me to later find a job that has this balance of research and coding which I mentioned in my post. As a note, I applied this year at 4 positions which had this balance and all of them rejected me. After asking what my main disadvantage with the chosen candidate was all of them told me that he/she had a PhD in the field.
3)I would be able to see what I am capable of in solving interesting problems and expanding human knowledge.
4)I believe in general, that pushing your self to the limits (even if you fail) teaches you more compared to a comfortable situation. By that I do not obviously mean that one should put oneself in every situation that stresses him/her, but rather that one should attempt things even if they are difficult.
good luck! and start eating better, as it helps more than meds for some.
This is possible depending on the network of contacts you develop. And PhD programs and the conference circiut are a great place to meet interesting people.
Based on your list, there doesn't seem to be any real downsides to taking the fellowship and pursuing a PhD. If you drop out, I wouldn't necessarily see it as wasting anything. You learn valuable skills in a PhD that are certainly transferable. The age old advice for pursuing research is only do it if you're interested in it.
I've considered it but the last year was hell for them and I don't want to do that, neither do I want to be in academia as a career.
It is relatively easy to spot supervisors that are simply rent seekers vs real researchers.
The former will typically have an enormous amount of students and will publish an impossible amount of publications per year.
If you need more tailored advice, you can find my email in my profile. I would not discard the PhD option just because of your current health status. In fact, a good PhD may leave you ample freedom, and that might be good to work on your issues.
My advice after tutoring 4 Phds.
Choose the mentor not the field or program.
If you have a good mentor/professor it will make a big difference. You can even work in "botanic" (non-related field) but he will find a way to make you useful. And being useful is 70% of curing depression. We need to feel useful.
Check which professors are friendly and have time to real meet with you and talk to you.
I choose mine based on that, some people laugh he was not an start and that he loved star trek too much. Only me and other student finished ON TIME our Phds.
- I definitely second the advice to seek the advice of a mental health professional, as well as people in the academic program in which you're thinking about enrolling.
- There are indeed mental health issues in academia. However, in mathematics at least, most of the students I knew seemed to enjoy their experience. Certainly I did.
If you don't want to work in academia, that might help with the mental health issues. A major source of stress is that there are fewer academic jobs available than people who want them. This is something you wouldn't have to worry about.
- The finish line will probably be wherever you find yourself in three years. It is typical, and healthy, for PhD students to have tons of goals and to accomplish only a few of them. A good advisor can help you set realistic goals, and help you figure out a timeline for achieving them.
- In my opinion, dropping out is okay if that's what you decide to do later.
- If you enroll, I'd recommend keeping reasonable hours in the lab (don't work for anyone who expects you to keep insane hours in the lab). Also, the standard advice: eat healthy, get exercise, get outside your university periodically, keep up a hobby or two.
Good luck!