Ask HN: I'm not happy, should I resign from my company or power through?
Everyday is just office, gym, shower, dinner, 1-2 hour gap, sleep. I try to get some side project work done during that 1-2 hour gap but I'm exhausted by that time so I don't get much done. My parents said that they would be willing to put me up, if I decided to resign and tried to start a company.
But I know that, that support will not last very long, because all our friends and family members will judge me and my parents for spoiling me like that. They will say that I'm just slacking off and tricking my parents into thinking that I'm trying to start a company, so eventually either I or my parents will get too frustrated with me living like that and I'll have to start looking for a job again. My guess is this will last about 1-2 years.
My therapist says I should quit if its making me miserable or change my point of view towards my work. My father, on the other hand, is of the opinion that I should power through the misery and continue working on the startup on the side, but at the same time he is willing to support me no matter what path I choose. He has a point plus my skills have improved a lot, but I get very depressed thinking that I would be throwing away my youth for job security instead of using to do something more ambitious. I have no dependents and a decent amount of savings.
I was also considering improving my skillset during the time I would be staying with my parents, like doing an online bootcamp like Lambda school.
What should I do HN community? Am I being stupid and selfish for considering this? Should I take a leap of faith and resign and see what happens or should I power through this path that makes me miserable?
8 comments
[ 5.0 ms ] story [ 23.8 ms ] threadbefore quiting you should have a idea of what you are going to do; if you are starting a company, what is it you would be selling?
i understand what you mean by the daily grind, it might be that the work you are doing is not challenging enough, or you aren't learning anything new and this daily wear is getting to you.
depending on the company, you could ask for a shift to part time work, working only 4 days a week would give you a weekday to focus on your side work?
either way, i wish you the best.
kind regards
If you give up now, and your startup fails (as most do), will you be able to bring yourself to go back to the 9-to-5 life? If you can’t learn to live that life, you’re likely to find yourself in a very difficult position 5-10 years down the line. Moreover, having only one year of conventional employment under your belt will serve as a red flag to many future employers.
Before you give up on conventional jobs entirely, consider the possibility that what’s causing you distress isn’t working full time but rather the particular environment you’re working in. Finding a new job should be much easier now with a year of employment than it is with zero experience. If you truly enjoy software development, you should be able to find a job where the hours spent at work will be engaging and enjoyable.
That feeling at the end of the day when you’ve spent all day at work and you’re tired? That’s normal. Have you tried getting up earlier and working on your side project in the mornings before work, when you’re more energetic?
My own thoughts - almost any job can be made more interesting. You don't believe it now but it my well be your mindset that needs to change, not your job.
That said, if you hate your job, change jobs. Right now no programmer should put up with being "bored out of [their] mind". Everybody's hiring. Your therapist is right. If you're not quitting you have to find it in you to be mostly engaged at work, otherwise it will destroy you from the inside.
If you like your job, but think not doing a startup is throwing away your youth, consider you definitely don't have to be young to be an entrepreneur, and plenty of people's first successful startups are when they're 45. It's not a race. Don't do a startup unless you have an idea, and you really want to pursue it.
I was feeling similarly to you and I took a 2 day vacation and that was enough to give me enough will power and motivation for a few months. I'm due for another vacation now.
2. What do you spend your 1 to 2 hours on each day? You should be prioritizing your time carefully. You should stay part time on your side project until you have 12 months of expenses saved up.
This is what I do. I have a notebook where I write the 5 tasks I'll focus on for the day. Then I'll take a look at all of them and decide which task is the fastest to complete or which task will create the most impact, then I come up with the first thing I have to do to finish that task. I then write that tiny task down on a whiteboard and I keep working until I get that tiny task done. I keep this process up until I finish my five major tasks.
For example, your task could be close a sale, so instead you write down upgrade linkedin to pro account, once you finish that, you write down identify one potential client, once you're done with that, ...
Another example, build my authorization library is the task so the first tiny task you write on the white board is identify one authorization library on ruby toolbox.
3. 10 years ago I felt my actions were driven by what others thought of me. Now, I don't even remember who those others were or what they thought of me.
What i'm trying to say is it won't matter in the future what others think of you.
4. Surround yourself with people that believe in you and with people that inspire you. Surround yourself with people that you respect and want to emulate or become.
This is what will keep you going. This is what will make you work hard and this is where you'll find your next co-founder.
Where is this place? It could be a co-working space, a few great meetups, a hackathon or two, demo days of accelerator programs, college classes that you sit in or it could be soccer intramurals.
5. Get yourself a mentor. Find people on linkedin that you want to be like and reach out to them. Tell them that you're at a crossroad with your startup and that you need advice.
the more meetings you take, the more people you meet, the more ideas you create, the more vision you have, the more opportunities that you get.