Ask HN: Where to Start my Venture into Computer Programming

I'm sure this question comes up a lot on HN, but I'll ask it anyway. I have no programming experience but a lot of self-motivation and insatiable desire to learn. Where to start? Which languages and why?

Q: Well, it depends on what you want to accomplish by learning it? A: I don't even have a good grasp of _all_ the possibilities!

Any advice, whether it regards references, scheduling, beginner books, tutorials, anything would be helpful.