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This reads almost like a clickbait ad.
So, what's the catch?

I currently have my money at a credit union with an abysmal rate, but all the banks I've looked at have terrible rates as well. What's Green Dot doing that's unsustainable or unethical? Because that's my suspicion.

I don't know if there's a catch there, but there are several high-yield savings accounts that will get you above 2% interest rates. Usually it's just due to the fact that they are online-only, no branches to go into. A few off the top of my head: American Express Personal Savings, Ally, ING...