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“Basic income and open borders are a match made in heaven. The first country to embrace this powerful combination will lead the way in ushering humanity into a new age of global peace and prosperity.”

Is this supposed to be satire? I can’t even.

It's not supposed to be satire, no. I'm guessing you disagree with the article?
You can’t think of anything that could go wrong by combining open borders with a generous welfare state?
Give a man a fish..?
Teach a man to fish and he'll fish for a lifetime. But give a man fish for a lifetime and he's free to do something worthwhile.
Good point, especially since this kind of "fish" is created out of thin air by governments and banks. There's plenty to feed everyone.
Wow...really? Your understanding is literally, “Let’s just give everyone enough money to be well off”?