Where/How to get an SBA loan? (I am in NYC)

I got a new job with a 3-year old company.

We're expanding operations and we're looking for a $3-4MM SBA loan. Yes I know that the 2 principals will have to sign a personal guarantee.

The problem is that in the past nobody had bothered to establish a relationship with our BIG Bank (checking account only so far), and I am calling left and right but body is actually returning my calls, not at my bank nor at any of the other 4 banks that I contacted.

It's frustrating.

So, what is the formula for "Getting an SBA loan 101"?