Ask HN: I cannot stop pursuing ideas and it’s ruining my life
Some ideas can be so strong, so compelling, that you want to neglect everything to realize them even if you know that doing so will further isolate you socially and provide no financial upside. I feel there are only so many years living this lifestyle until I have passed the point of no return.
Have any of you dealt with similar themes? How do you moderate yourself?
26 comments
[ 3.9 ms ] story [ 52.3 ms ] threadWrite down the top 25 ideas you have.
Now choose the top 5, most important ones. The absolute best.
Now cross out the other 20. They're distracting you from the ones you should be focusing on.
“Mr. Buffett, I’ve heard that one of your ways of focusing your energy is that you write down the 25 things you want to achieve, choose the top five and then avoid the bottom 20. I’m really curious how you came up with this and what other methods you use for prioritizing your desires?”
Buffett chuckled, responding, “Well, I’m actually more curious about how you came up with it.” The audience erupted in laughter.
Buffett proceeded to explain that both he and Munger live very simple lives, and are not disciplined enough to approach decision-making in that way. “I can’t recall making a list in my life,” said Buffett.
I was doomed to a similar fate. I simply do not have the focus and tenacity required to be a businessman, so I took the easier route of selling my labor and my free time is reserved for my hobbies and passion projects.
Good luck!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperfocus
Yes, the wiki says OCD is not hyperfocus. But down to the grit, ADHD and OCD are differing responses to focusing on the order of far too many things, at the expense of everything else. Just wanted to add that in here because although they sound exclusive when worded a certain way, they aren't.
Source: I have a diagnosed OCD so quite familiar with the common symptoms.
Also see “the sushi train metaphor” from Dr Russ Harris, a psychologist specialising in ACT https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tzUoXJVI0wo
I'll try and approach this objectively (since I also start tonnes of projects with no financial upside).
Consider that there are millions of ideas out there and most will never ever be realised. You CANNOT DO THEM ALL... so you will need to prioritise what ideas are worth working on. The criteria you choose is up to you; financial gain, social gain... just thinking about this is a good way to moderate yourself.
There are a finite number of keystrokes left in your hands before you die. - [1] Scott Hanselman
[1] https://www.hanselman.com/blog/DoTheyDeserveTheGiftOfYourKey...
Now choose the top 5, most important ones. The absolute best.
Now cross out the other 20. They're distracting you from the ones you should be focusing on.
'Starting an idea is easy. What matters is finishing it.'
In fact, I've spent the past six years of my life working towards an idea that's largely consumed me. It started small and expanded in scope to something best described as a blueprint for a future FAANG-scale company. Yet I'm as far away from realizing the idea as ever, and I've paid an enormous social and financial price for allocating so much time in pursuit of it.
Pursuing such things is best done with solid financial, emotional and social footing. I had very little of those when I started, and I basically buckled under the weight of them by the end. It's like taking a road trip, if your emotional gas tank is half empty when you start, you're going to be pushing your car across the desert in the end.
The upshot is I've now found an overriding purpose to my life, but ironically that purpose is now requiring me to think more instrumentally than ever.
That means getting a job or otherwise making money, giving my love life more attention, whatever I can do to make myself happy and financially stable. After so many years I've come to realize that you can't do great work if you ain't happy. Likewise being crushed under financial pressure. In practice, the mythology of a lone badass being driven by sheer will only goes so far.
>I feel there are only so many years living this lifestyle until I have passed the point of no return.
I can't speak to your situation, but it sounds like you may need to pull the same eject handle I did. The thing about ejecting is it allows you to avoid crashing and burning, only to fly another day.
There's no shame in it, and it doesn't mean you failed. On the contrary it's only the beginning. It took me forever to realize this.
Good luck.
I don't think that's true. Many of the greatest creators were miserable through most of their life.
Use some resources from those with expertise to evaluate your idea. Hopefully it helps interact with your ideas really thoroughly and brings you peace in filtering out ideas (and identifying the really good ones):
Harvard Innovations Lab: Ideation framework with Josh Wexler (2013) https://youtu.be/0zCtHDPRlog Follow along with your own idea in mind instead of the example given.
Start up school: How to Evaluate Ideas , pt. 1(2019) https://www.startupschool.org/videos/62
I use Trello, and have found organising ideas by value and difficulty has eased the burden of having 100+ side projects.
So.. I have multiple columns identifying which projects I will work on: "backlog", "will do", "won't do", "in progress", and "finished".
The "tickets" are also colour coded by difficulty: green - easy, orange - few days/week, red - few weeks/months.
Depending on how much time I think I will have free in the next few weeks, I pick a difficulty, and will only work on ONE project at a time (This is the only rule that stops me picking things up then abandoning it half way through).
I haven't been doing red projects in the past few months as they require more energy than I currently have, the green ones are the most fun, usually done in a night or a weekend, then I will not start another project until the next week to give myself a rest.