Ask HN: Not resting fully because can't sleep long enough

43 points by taigeair ↗ HN
Hey founders! I'm working on a startup as a solo founder and realized that I'm only sleeping 5-6 hours per day for last few months. Don't think it's sustainable and healthy. I'd like to sleep 7-8, but just wake up early. I can't get myself to sleep longer or more. It's probably because I have too much on my mind and feel I have a lot to do.

Have you guys experienced this? How did you address it?

61 comments

[ 5.0 ms ] story [ 125 ms ] thread
not a founder, but I would start with building some peace of mind for yourself -- Journaling, mindfulness, meditation, prayer or similar is a great place to start and most high-productivity folks actually draw a connection between this sort of focus and both increased productivity and lower stress. In your one-man-band phase, this is super important for you to constantly improve.

A less popular angle is to cut out alcohol. There are huge gains to be made in focus and rest without it.

a good reference for this is The Productivity Project available in audio ( I listened to it myself )

https://alifeofproductivity.com/the-productivity-project/

thanks for the tips. i do meditate but do it in the morning-- i'll try to do it at night too.
From what I've seen in meditating both morning and night is that the purpose of morning meditation is to ground and focus, whereas for evening meditation is to relax and let go. Subtle difference in intent.
I know it's hard to make the time, but try to make some time for physical activities (hiking, swimming, anything cardio) and some meditation/breathing exercises/yoga to help get your nervous system out of it's flight/fight state. You need some balance!
thanks for the tip. any specific links you found helpful?
You don't need links. Just exhaust yourself. You know how.

I was in the same boat - solo founder, working 14 hour days, incredibly stressed. Exercise and avoiding alcohol, drugs, and shitty food is the key.

There is a certain level of stress that I think can't be dealt with. When you reach that limit, you have either step back and curtail what you're trying to do, or just push forward and get through it.

I think it is important to find something you enjoy. I tried to go to the gym and hated it this led me into a situation that I was essentially punishing myself for trying to take care of myself..

Currently I take figure skating classes, inline skate, swim, freedive, kayak, and do yoga(yin and pranayama). I might have overshot a little, as my startup (more of a side project atm) is suffering a bit ;)

I'll second this.

The effects are twofold with physical activity: It's a great reducer of stress and anxiety, and can be meditative in itself. It will also tire you out nicely toward the end of the day, or energize you in the morning (and by the time your set bed time arrives, you'll be ready for it, and need it in order to get up so early as to workout again)

It doesn't even matter what it is so much, as long as you enjoy it and are consistent: running, weights, cycling, ice skating, skateboarding, surfing, mountain biking, HIIT, or tabata-like classes, soccer, whatever else/all of the above.

Cosigned! Personally I’m a big fan of weightlifting, particularly in the evenings when I’m too tired to do anything but my heart is racing because of stress. It tends to tire me out pretty fast and the repetitive motion feels meditative.
Hello --

I have experienced the same symptoms, although not quite as badly (waking up very early), for the last two years. Take this with a huge grain of salt, because most of what I tried didn't work all that well, but I'll let you know what I tried with at least modest success.

And, if you ever figure out how to get your sleep back on track, I'd be grateful if you'd message me and let me know what worked!

-- Weighted blankets: I got one, and this seemed to help a little bit.

-- Cool bedroom: it's recommended to set the temperature to 68 or below.

-- Consistent sleeping times. Go to bed at the same time every night (if you can).

-- Limit activities in your bed. No TV, internet, smartphones. And no lying in bed wishing you could sleep. If you don't feel sleepy, then get out of bed, go do something else for a little while and then maybe try again.

-- You might check out CBT-I -- cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia. (Some of what I suggested above is part of this.) In general the most widely recommended therapy.

-- Keep up exercise and your social life, even if you're tempted to cut back (as I was).

Good luck! (Contact info in profile.)

The most important part is not here: natural light, or equivalent.
> Limit activities in your bed. No TV, internet, smartphones. And no lying in bed wishing you could sleep. If you don't feel sleepy, then get out of bed, go do something else for a little while and then maybe try again.

I listened to a (Swedish) podcast some time ago where they interviewed a professor[0] about sleep and health effects of good and bad sleeping patterns etc. One question that came up was something along the lines of "what should I do if I'm lying in bed, just twisting and turning and unable to sleep?" The response was very much in line with your suggestion: don't remain in bed trying to force yourself to sleep.

Get up, do something. Read a book, walk around, do the dishes – pretty much anything really. It's apparently much more effective than trying to force yourself to sleep. He also said that you should avoid activities that shines a bright light in your face, like watching a TV or fiddling with your phone or tablet.

I'm going to try your other tips to see if that helps any with my own sleep issues – thanks for sharing!

[0]: https://staff.ki.se/people/johaxe

I think this is bullshit. If you go out for a walk you will wake up even more.

On top of that, if you actually have times when you feel like you get 0 hours of sleep (i recently started a new job and could barely sleep for a week) if you don’t remain in bed nevertheless - you will not rest even for a slight bit; while simply laying in bed will give you at least some rest.

The advice I've read is not necessarily to go for a walk outside, but to do something more low-key: wash some dishes, read a book, or simply sit quietly for twenty minutes.

Especially if you feel "tired" but not "sleepy" -- although these can be hard to distinguish.

This is recommended (by expert researchers, on the basis of experiment) as part of a cure for chronic long-term insomnia. Like many cures, it can be a bit arduous at first. I haven't seen it recommended for short-term insomnia, especially when there is some causal factor like starting a new job.

Listening to boring podcasts or reading machine learning papers in bed really helped me deal with my stress related sleeping issues. I'd be fine all day, but when I tried to sleep my mind would start racing and I'd start stressing about my startup. Doing an intense task that required me to pay attention and prevented me from thinking about other random issues.
This. Only have good things to say about CBT-i. Worked wonders for me.

Also I can second doing physical excercise.

Thanks so much for the advice. It's really hard not to be on screens before bed. I'll try cutting this one first...
Make sure your room is completely dark. I mean totally. No charger lights, not a blink of light through curtains. Use really thick blankets e.g. to cover the window. You would be surprised how it affects your sleep.
+1, but I'd add that if you want to test whether this is an issue and don't want to shell out for blackout curtains (or are in an apartment where you can't), an eye mask is a good way to go.

After trying half a dozen or so of the $10-20 Amazon eye masks, I sleep with the Manta Sleep eye mask and am quite happy with it. I see a bunch of other masks in the $30 range that also look like solid options.

I had a friend once who couldn't sleep well because of the things on their mind. Journaling seemed to be the magic bullet for them. They just wrote everything down that was on their mind. And each day they didn't have quite as much to write.
This helped me a lot when I had trouble sleeping. I kept a pencil/paper by the bed. I found I didn't need to turn on a light or anything. Just the reach over and write the thought in the dark. I'd wake up in the morning and find I had a paper covered in illegible scribbles, but for some reason it worked.

Also sometimes I still wake up early with thoughts of stuff I have to do. The trick for me to get back to sleep is to have somewhere for my mind to go. Concentrating on imaging lying on a beach somewhere can divert my mind and get it back to a sleepy place.

That sounds more like anxiety for some people. A good way to avoid that is just use things like notes or task checkers on your phone. Then just chip away at doing these things as you can. You don't need to worry about it in the morning because your phone is better at remember things you tell it to than you are.
Ah, it wasn't just things that needed doing, but things they couldn't do anything about.

But I agree with your point generally.

Ah, I guess in that instance, I figure why worry? It's out of your control anyway. Worrying now can't fix it later.
How many coffees per day do you drink? And what is the time of your last coffee? The half life of caffeine is 8 hours, and can inhibit deep sleep even if you achieve unconsciousness.
Does this mean that after 8 hours the caffeine is still in my system, acting half as strongly as it was at the time of ingestion?
Well, there's half as much, I don't know enough to say there is a linear relationship between caffeine concentration and it's psychological effects.
I just fact checked myself and found that the half-life is actually 3-5 hours. Sorry about that. But in any case, it's common for people to go to bed at night with some active caffeine in their system.
Actually, it varies. Two genetic tests an experience confirmed I have much slower caffeine metabolism. So no coffee after 11 for me, and ideally not a lot.
Are you suffering as a result of this?

Try a nap once or twice during the day, even just 20minute naps, maybe you can be on this schedule forever.

Try really meditating (or praying or some other ritualized mental and emotional health behavior) every day before bed, so you can set you worries aside, and then again every morning. Perhaps you can flush the ongoing anxiety out of your system so you can sleep with more abandon.

Putting aside the mechanics of sleep, it's important for you to realize that this isn't a valuable trade, between sleep and work. Sustainably growing your business means keeping balance in your life, meaning pure volume of work won't actually get you to the goal.
I used to have this problem a lot. I've never completely eliminated it, but I've dramatically reduced it to the point where it's tolerable. I have no idea if what I did would work for anybody else, but here it is...

First, I learned "self-hypnosis" (really, just serious and intentional relaxation techniques). That didn't always get me to sleep (although it usually did), but I would get some rest anyway even if not fully sleeping.

Second, I stopped trying to regulate when I went to bed, but rather when I woke up. For me, the sweet spot was to always get up at 5:30, whether or not there was a reason to get up that early. The predictable routine is the important part here, not the precise time. At first, that would mean I'd be tired for the day -- but after a while, my body adjusted and I started naturally wanting to go to bed earlier.

Another thing to keep in mind is that as an entrepreneur, going to bed when you're tired is overtly in your job description. You need to care for yourself to care for your business. It can sometimes feel that you're losing productivity by doing this, but you aren't -- work you're doing when you're exhausted will be lower quality work, produced more slowly. The best use of that time is to rest, not work.

Do you work out or do physical exercise of some sort? For me, that was/is the key to good sleep.
Waking up too early is called sleep-maintenance insomnia or sleep-onset insomnia. I get this a lot. I have no problem getting to sleep but then wake up too early. I sometimes wake up at 3AM and can't get back to sleep, then end up feeling like crap the next day.

What helps me:

-- A very clear clock on my room so I can look at the time in the middle of the night. If I don't know what time it is, I'll sometimes just get up, only to realize it's way too early. Once I'm up out of bed, it's harder to get back to sleep

-- I found that watching and listening to something really stupid when trying to get to sleep (old reruns of Family Guy and American Dad) help me to stop thinking about a million things before sleep. Also, if I wake up and can't get back to sleep, I watch/listen to it till I fall asleep.

-- Have a consistent bedtime, as someone else posted.

-- While light therapy is recommended in the morning to prevent normal insomnia, there are some studies that show that light therapy in the morning can cause you to wake up earlier. Try doing some light therapy in the afternoon or evening.

In addition to the things people have mentioned, melatonin might help you feel more rested. Start with 0.5 mg a half hour before the time you want to go to bed. In general melatonin is very safe and non-addictive, but as always when starting a new supplement you should consult with a doctor first. You'll also want to stop using screens (computer, TV, phone, etc) for at least an hour before bed time, ideally longer.
Are you working out? You need to have vigorous ways to put stress out of your system. Lifting hard (with good form) is safe and will make you sleep like a baby. If on top of that you have a stable sexual life, the better. No coffee after 17pm and maybe consider melatonin 3mg before going to sleep (it can make you sleep deeper so recover is more fruitful).

PS: BTW, I do 6h sleep most nights and some times I need an additional 20 or 30m nap during the day and is totally sustainable (I train 5d/w).

Things that work for me: -Teaspoon of Calm magnesium powder before bed. Not every day but a few on and off. -no phones or tv in bed -no blue light for at least 2 hours before bed -dark dark room -same bedtime each night -no alcohol -no coffee or other caffeine or even dark chocolate after 2pm -daily exercise for at least 20 min -write out my tasks for the next day so I’ve got things as much out of my head as possible -If I can’t sleep or wake up, Get up and eat something small and protein-rich like nuts or cheese -Don’t check phone in middle of night -wear earplugs. It’s amazing how little noises wake me up. I use the soft moldable swimmer’s ear plugs
I have been using a sleep mask to block out the morning and other light, and have a few history podcast I listen to, but those are more to go to sleep faster than to wake up later.
Sleep masks are amazing. We got them for my family for a trip to Europe and now everyone uses them at home.
Totally agree. Sleep masks have really helped with my weird sleep schedule. Even with your eyes closed, your body will figure out it is light outside (unless you have some kind of blackout curtain). Plus there's a nice ritual about it that I think also helps my mind relax.
I have this problem too. I haven't solved it, but one thing that has helped is setting an alarm and not looking at the time while sleeping. If you wake up at anytime during the night, go back to sleep without looking at a clock. Don't get out of bed until your alarm goes off.

After a while of waking up too early, it got to the point of waking up at 4am and thinking "that's close enough" and I would get out of bed. (Attempting) to go back to sleep regardless of the time seems to have helped that a bit.

Sleep is very difficult for me but sleeping pills help a ton. I just take half of an OTC one and it helps a lot. But you have to take breaks because it stops working as your body gets a tolerance.
I have issues falling asleep a lot of the time, and stress has a huge impact on that.

Stuff that can help (may have been suggested in other comments):

- exercise will definitely help; there are way too many benefits to list, apart from helping with sleep

- coffee - try to limit intake after 2PM or so because caffeine has a long half-life; the earlier you stop, the better

- meditation

- breaks, walks in the evening, anything that disconnects you from your load

- reading in bead, just before going to sleep

- limit phone, laptop etc. in bed, before you go to sleep

- try not to eat/drink too much before bed, especially not an extra large pizza at 10PM

- take a hot shower before bed and have your room cooled down

- avoid various substances that may sedate you, but won't help you actually sleep better

If all that fails, there are sleep doctors. There are many conditions that can affect sleep, but it's most likely plain old stress.

This will duplicate some things others have already said, but a few factors are:

- Amount of caffeine. Caffeine has a 12 hour half life. 12 hours after your last caffeinated drink, you will have 50% of the caffeine in your system. Healthy adults should not exceed 400mg/day regardless.

- Amount of D3 and B vitamins your gut bacteria are deficient in. Your gut bacteria need energy to break down the foods you eat for the symbiotic relationship that break down fiber and other things required for your health. If they do not have enough D3 and B (all B vitamins), they will give off proteins that will induce stress / cortisol. This becomes a cyclical problem if not addressed.

- Environmental stress. If your mind has too many unresolved issues, your cortisol levels will be too high. Delegate as many issues to other people as you can. This is probably going to be a hard one if you are a founder. It's hard to let go, especially if you are passionate about your ideas and goals.

- Not enough sleep. But wait, that is the problem, right? Lacking sleep raises toxicity levels in your body, including your brain. This creates a cyclical problem that will worsen with time. Your brain keeps track of how much sleep it lost and at some point you will experience hallucinations or waking dreams when this catches up with you. Deep sleep (all four stages) are required to allow your brain to purge toxic material. Do not use sedatives / drugs to sleep. That isn't real sleep. D3, L-Theanine (amino acid), 5-HTP (amino acid) can help with hormones that can make you sleepy.

- Light. A few hours before you intend to sleep, mute the light. Use soft lights. Avoid screens. Power off the smart phone and put it in a drawer. Wear a sleep mask (intended for day sleepers, but helps cut out tiny bits of light from LED's on devices)

There are MANY more factors, but I have to go to a meeting and don't have time to put all the nih.gov references here. Maybe I will add some later today.

All good points. Note that caffeine has a half life of 5 to 6 hours, rather than 12. I’d cite it, but a simple search makes this apparent.
Thankyou for the correction. I am probably mis-remembering from a talk that Dr. Matthiew Walker gave at Google about sleep. I will need to figure out where I got the 12 hours from.
I'm going to treat this answer as if you're suffering from insomnia. True insomnia may or may not be your problem, that's up for you and possibly your doctors to figure out.

The basics for treating insomnia:

- exercise regularly

- eat healthily

- get enough sunlight at the right time of day. If you're waking up too early then you want more sunlight in the afternoon and evening.

- practice good sleep hygiene. This means you only use your bedroom for two activities: sleep and sex. If you lie in bed for more than fifteen minutes without falling to sleep or wake up early and can't get back to sleep, get up and go somewhere else until you are sleepy again. Don't lie in bed trying to sleep. The brain becomes acclimatized to being awake in bed, and that's bad.

Now, the medication-based approaches:

- consult with a neurologist if the above approaches don't help.

- Personally I found a low-dose anti-anxiety medication to be extremely helpful. Many of these cause dependence and can be hard to get off of, but on the other hand chronic lack of sleep has significant medical risks of its own, so I felt the tradeoff was a good one.

- prescription sleep medications can also be helpful, although somewhat less so for someone who wakes up too early as opposed to someone who has difficulty falling asleep. If you go this route, you probably want to try Sonata, which has a short half life versus, say, Ambient and therefore leaves you feeling less drugged after three or four hours.

- I also found Rozerem to be very helpful. Unlike all other sleep medications, Rozerem is a melatonin receptor agonist. It does not sedate you; it reinforces your circadian rhythms. It does not leave me feeling drugged and does not affect my sleep architecture.

Now, the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach:

- you can train your brain to associate "bed" with "sleep". It ain't easy, but for many people it works and doesn't require medication.

- figure out how long you're sleeping on average.

- for a week, do not go to bed at all until one full hour less than your average sleep duration. In other words, if you sleep six hours a night and wake up at 7, don't go to bed until 2 AM. Keep this up for a week. The idea is to intentionally build up a sleep deficit, so your body will go to sleep quickly and stay asleep. Continue to religiously wake up and get out of bed at 7.

- the next week give yourself an extra fifteen minutes of sleep. Go to bed at 1:45 AM, or get up at 7:15.

- keep this up until you are getting the amount of sleep you need.

- If at any time you find yourself not going to sleep immediately or waking up too early, back up fifteen minutes.

- By the end of the process you hopefully have retrained your brain to associate being in bed with being asleep.

I personally found consulting with a neurologist and figuring an approach that worked for me to be very helpful.

If you can afford it, see a sleep therapist and get personalized, professional help

If not, be open and patient. Try things out and see what works for you. My sleep is most usually great, which I attribute to the following:

- Consistent wake-up time (for me more important than bedtime) - Consistent, moderate exercise - Ways to let your thoughts run their course: journal, vent to friends/family, whatever

This will sound horribly unscientific, but for me the problem is being overtired. And the solution? Take naps on the weekends, say 2 PM, when you are able. For me, it induces a sense of sleepiness that, paradoxically, makes me sleepier when it comes to going to bed at night.
It's not for everyone, but getting into distance and running really helped my sleep and energy levels in general. It does take a lot of time to train for a full marathon IMO, so I'm not sure that would be very manageable as a solo founder. But, eventually squeezing in 7-8 hours per week to train for a half marathon could be doable depending on your schedule and other commitments. I personally found that my increased energy levels made up for the time commitment in productivity and general well-being, although I have to temporarily sacrifice other hobbies and some social life in the middle of rough training cycles. Finding friends to run with helps make the latter more tolerable.

I struggled a lot with sleep issues in the past - both falling and staying asleep - but I surprisingly found it really difficult to not fall asleep early and stay asleep for at least 8 hours after some very long runs during training. It takes time to build up endurance, but once I was able to run ~5 days a week with a few 6-8 mile runs without excessive effort, I found it easy to maintain a schedule that keeps me tired enough at night to sleep quite well. I also found that marathon training improved my time management skills a lot.

If you don't run at all, couch to 5k is a good place to start. Measure weekly distance and increase mileage at most 10% of week after that. Reddit's /r/running is a good place to find more learning resources.