Super sad. I interviewed at Samasource early in my career. They had a cool mission, and Ms. Janah seemed really inspiring. Glad she got to do so much with the time she had.
Sure. For whatever reason, my peers were mostly women, and I don't have many close female friends in my circles outside of my wife and sister.
It was interesting how many of them had this sort of overwhelming guilt about dying. That they were somehow on the hook in an exclusive way for what happens to their husband and children when they are gone.
There was one in particular that seemed obsessed about how selfish and materialistic her husband was, and how it might shape her kid's future. I was in line with her maybe 4 or 5 times, over a 4 month period, and we talked for 10-20 minutes or so each time. Still haunts me. She was very intelligent and rational, but deeply sad. She was in pretty rough shape, and I assume she died.
Also, in kind of a selfish way, I liked the opportunity to talk with women in a deep way with no fear of jealousy, misread intentions, awkward intros, etc. They would open up immediately based on our shared experience. Felt like it was a unique opportunity to peer into something I'd never have found otherwise. I can now truly vouch for the idea that women have it generally harder vs men in Western culture.
I can now truly vouch for the idea that women have it generally harder vs men in Western culture.
Based on what? You do not believe men have these same thoughts about their spouse and what happens to their loved ones after they pass? Even guilt as you described. I ask this with respect and curiocity.
You mean you found some women who had it harder than you.
Like you said, it was mostly women you spoke with. Also, women are conditioned to open up about their hardships more (in the US).
I’ve seen my fair share of people die, slowly and suddenly. It’s always the same. The men say less. They are expected to. They’re not supposed to complain or say what’s on their mind other than “don’t worry about me.”
2, almost 3 years in with clean CT and PET scans. Supposedly 5 years is the mark for optimism. So, yeah, good so far. Adenocarcinoma, btw. Which is usually driven by stress induced stomach acid over a lifetime. I suspect this is fairly common in our line of work. So, "see your doctor" if you have recurring issues with acid reflux. It starts with a condition called "Barret's Esophagus".
Had I gone in earlier, I could have avoided some pretty radical surgery that removed 6 inches of my esophagus. Men are pretty notorious with doctors for putting issues off and waiting until it's too late.
There is an at-home DNA test, which I won't advertise, that tests your genetic predisposition for 36 types of cancer.
If you happen to have a certain mutation, you and potentially your blood relatives should start doing tests, in some cases as early as 25 and every year.
It's a shame the good work the scientists accomplished at those companies has basically been burned by the product people trying to increase profitability.
I have a lump on my leg and the doctor said it's probably a lympoma but I'm still concerned after reading this. Is there anything I can do at home to test?
See another doctor. Have a biopsy. Don’t stuff around with genetic tests, as they’re not going to give you the information you want in this situation (whether you have a cancer rather than whether you’re likely to develop one).
I had the same thing. Got it removed. Fortunately was nothing.
Seek second or more opinions. Hard lesson I learned a few years ago is just because it’s a “professional” advice doesn’t mean it’s good/best advice. So now on with doctors, lawyers, other “specialty professionals” I don’t blindly accept one guy’s call.
An at-home DNA test doesn't test whether you have cancer* - it tests your chances of getting one over your lifetime.
For some people, for example, there will be an 80% chance to get breast cancer during their lifetime, and they should start checking themselves often.
* One exception is a colon cancer test - you can send (apologies) a swab of your poop to test it for mutated DNA that is present if you already have early colon cancer.
>Also, in kind of a selfish way, I liked the opportunity to talk with women in a deep way with no fear of jealousy, misread intentions, awkward intros, etc.
have you tried treating them like people?
> Sure. For whatever reason, my peers were mostly women, and I don't have many close female friends in my circles outside of my wife and sister.
> I can now truly vouch for the idea that women have it generally harder vs men in Western culture
if you were an alien observing from space and never had personal contact with a woman it would be just as obvious. the idea that it took you being diagnosed with cancer to break your echo chambers is ridiculous.
>Felt like it was a unique opportunity to peer into something I'd never have found otherwise.
36 comments
[ 3.9 ms ] story [ 80.5 ms ] threadMuch respect.
I did a round of "You're going to die" with esophageal cancer in 2017.
The conversations I had with my peers that were waiting in line for radiation and/or chemo were refreshingly real and focused.
It's interesting where your head eventually lands in these situations.
It was interesting how many of them had this sort of overwhelming guilt about dying. That they were somehow on the hook in an exclusive way for what happens to their husband and children when they are gone.
There was one in particular that seemed obsessed about how selfish and materialistic her husband was, and how it might shape her kid's future. I was in line with her maybe 4 or 5 times, over a 4 month period, and we talked for 10-20 minutes or so each time. Still haunts me. She was very intelligent and rational, but deeply sad. She was in pretty rough shape, and I assume she died.
Also, in kind of a selfish way, I liked the opportunity to talk with women in a deep way with no fear of jealousy, misread intentions, awkward intros, etc. They would open up immediately based on our shared experience. Felt like it was a unique opportunity to peer into something I'd never have found otherwise. I can now truly vouch for the idea that women have it generally harder vs men in Western culture.
Based on what? You do not believe men have these same thoughts about their spouse and what happens to their loved ones after they pass? Even guilt as you described. I ask this with respect and curiocity.
Like you said, it was mostly women you spoke with. Also, women are conditioned to open up about their hardships more (in the US).
I’ve seen my fair share of people die, slowly and suddenly. It’s always the same. The men say less. They are expected to. They’re not supposed to complain or say what’s on their mind other than “don’t worry about me.”
Had I gone in earlier, I could have avoided some pretty radical surgery that removed 6 inches of my esophagus. Men are pretty notorious with doctors for putting issues off and waiting until it's too late.
That is one of the reasons why health insurance for men is significantly cheaper than health insurance for women.
There is an at-home DNA test, which I won't advertise, that tests your genetic predisposition for 36 types of cancer.
If you happen to have a certain mutation, you and potentially your blood relatives should start doing tests, in some cases as early as 25 and every year.
why not? A word of mouth recommendation is the best form of endorsement (if you have no affiliation with said product).
I had the same thing. Got it removed. Fortunately was nothing.
An at-home DNA test doesn't test whether you have cancer* - it tests your chances of getting one over your lifetime.
For some people, for example, there will be an 80% chance to get breast cancer during their lifetime, and they should start checking themselves often.
* One exception is a colon cancer test - you can send (apologies) a swab of your poop to test it for mutated DNA that is present if you already have early colon cancer.
have you tried treating them like people?
> Sure. For whatever reason, my peers were mostly women, and I don't have many close female friends in my circles outside of my wife and sister. > I can now truly vouch for the idea that women have it generally harder vs men in Western culture
if you were an alien observing from space and never had personal contact with a woman it would be just as obvious. the idea that it took you being diagnosed with cancer to break your echo chambers is ridiculous.
>Felt like it was a unique opportunity to peer into something I'd never have found otherwise.
read a book