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This is the most sophisticated joke I've seen in a long time. 10 points!
And only $40 to get in on the joke!
And my work firewall blocks it as malware. Nice.
I would pay double for an iPhone 12 Pro with Touch ID.
I'd like an iphone SE, with uptodate processor/ram/etc

Phone sized, Touch ID, 3.5mm jack.

I can’t imagine spending the better part of $1000 on a phone and not having $200 for wireless earbuds or headphones.

I’ve never once missed the headphone jack. Why do people clamor for it so much?

Pre-C usb on the Macs, I get somewhat. I have a ton of old style USB cords (which I solved by buying two dozen 4” old usb-to-c adapter pigtails).

I’ve never once wanted to plug any of my wired headphones (I have a bunch, mostly with 1/4” plugs) into my phone. What is the use case here?

The whole point of Apple's Face ID is that doesn't use the image of your face as a form of authentication (like Windows Hello does), but rather uses the shape of your face.

As a result, this would almost certainly prevent authentication using Face ID from being successful.

Also, this is essentially spam.

I think the idea is to train Face ID with the mask on.
The stated motivation may be silly, but 'more subtle masks that don't immediately or from a distance look like you're wearing one' aren't a bad idea.

At least for use in countries where it's not the norm, but you want to wear one because you're cycling in traffic, or from somewhere where it is the norm but feel self-conscious about wearing one where it isn't. (I don't know if the latter is a common feeling, I'm not from such a place, but I have wondered if it'll increase - ro become one - post-Coronavirus, if 'Asians in masks' are stigmatised, or feel that they might be as a result.)