Ask HN: I would pay 100$/Mo if you can solve this problem

Depending on a few factors, $100/m can get you a therapist or lifecoach for 1+h/m.

My therapist was government/donation susbsidized and ran $10/hr.

Have you considered... a dominant life partner?

1. Choose one thing a month to work on.

2. Keep a journal to drill down into the specific hurdles and drains that prevent you from succeeding. They tend to be a mixture of diffused focus, fuzzy goals, premature goals, scope creep. The diary helps with all of that because it magnifies and clarifies your target.

3. If you want I can do 2 1/2 hour coaching phone calls a month, email my username at gmail. Six Ironmen have honed my know-how with exercise and nutrition while working. I advise family and friends on both. I've also got insights into side projects, since I'm 30 years into a career in tech+startup.

I wonder if your problem is entirely one of perspective or unrealistic standards. Let's try to break it down.

Why did you stop exercising/dieting/working on side projects? Did it not feel good? Or was it because you weren't meeting your goals? What were you trying to achieve?

It's good to take some time to think about whether you should be doing anything to begin with and pivot to stuff you actually feel like doing.

I know the feeling.

Personally, I find it easier to commit if I know exactly what I'm committing to. So, for example, instead of "go to the gym regularly", try "go to the gym three times a week".

With dieting, small steps can be very helpful. For example, here's a commitment you could make: at least once a week, at the grocery store, buy something healthy that you don't usually eat, and then eat it at one meal.

And don't kick yourself when you find yourself off the wagon, just get back on it.

Good luck!

Long time ago, my friend was building an accountability social network/forum. The basic idea was that you would pair up with someone who would call you/Skype with you. Having to answer to a real person may motivate you to work on your goals.

This might be a good startup idea if you can manage payments and phone calls where people don't have to share their numbers.

I believe that throwing money at the problem is counter-productive.

You struggle to commit yourself to so many things, but waving a 100 dollar bill in the air will serve only to attract opportunists who will happily take that money to offer you ever more distractions and diversions.

A product, service, idea, or mindset that is easily acquired is just as easily discarded.

The solution is discipline. And you will never, ever find it outside you or get it from another person.

Keep the $100, and invest it in a kettlebell.

I don’t have a solution for you. I don’t think there is a software solution for you but you are not alone. This is exactly me too.

Here's a solution to the gym issue. Hire someone to pick you up from work and take you to the gym. Once you're at the gym you work out and go home. Don't socialize until you are done.

This works because you will not have a chance to think about it and back out. Eventually, you will get in the habit of working out.

Maybe you are like me and simply require other people around/participating to stay motivated.

It helps if your goal was something else. Hard to solve this without knowing your hopes and passions in life. One can always have a list of common things people hope for and allow you to track progress.

For example,losing weight to be healthy is not a good motivator for most. Losing weight to attract a mate or a job, or perhaps out of fear for an early death is a good motivator.

It's a journey but when you make the journey your destination your experience would revolve around starting and stopping the journey or tracking some milestone as opposed to reaching some end. Of course people with discipline don't suffer from this curse.

Love yourself first, alltogether with your "bad" habits and body.

Can you?

Nothing is wrong with you.

You're perfect. Done.

Now, how can you help someone else too? You surely have creative skills, ideas, inspirations. Now, as fighting against yourself is over - unleash your super creative and fun powers!

Plesae Listen

-----------100% working method------------

Go out find a pretty and sexy girlfriend, problem solved.

And shxx up give me the money. (simpsons pose)

I would check out r/GetMotivatedBuddies (https://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivatedBuddies/). Committing to something and being held accountable to someone other than yourself helps a lot. https://www.stickk.com/ might also be helpful for you.

I would suggest something basic. Take a print out of monthly habit tracker from here: https://tealnotes.com/free-printable-bullet-journal-habit-tr... and add the goals/ habits you want to achieve. Put the goals in the order in which you want to do every day. Stick it on your wall such a way that it is very visible to you (this matters as this act a reminder for you). Every day check this list off. I have tried a lot of things in the past, and found this approach the most effective.

Remove every noise/distraction from yourself. So you either do nothing (completely nothing) or your habbit

Not sure if HN allows one to post their professional offering. If not, would be happy to delete this comment.

OP, I have such an individual based program since I struggled with these as well and could not find help. The program has been going reasonably well. There is no upfront payment and it is value based. Which means if there is no progress, there is no payment to be made and we do not continue the program.

But it requires the participant to be serious about their goals.

If you want to know more, please share your email and we can see if this is relevant for you or not.

You would need to figure out what the sticking point is. Without knowing that, we're just a bunch of blindfolded internet strangers randomly throwing darts and hoping they hit the bullseye.

Diets can work, but usually if they are intended to address a known specific health issue. Then specific diets, like keto, have a pretty good track record. But merely restricting calories because you want to be thin has a long and well established track record of being the diet version of that smoking joke: "Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it hundreds of times."

Some general principles that sometimes help without fully understanding why:

1. Less is more.

Get rid of extra stuff. Streamline your life. Go for a spartan lifestyle.

2. Try fasting instead of dieting.

It's not well understood why it works, but it seems to often be helpful with a variety of issues.

3. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

Just getting rid of a lot of junk will move you in this direction, but also: clean your keyboard, try to reduce papers in the home, switch to nontoxic cleaners, etc.

4. Keep a journal.

What gets measured, gets done. A journal is a personal record of your life. It can help you see what is or is not actually changing.

Best of luck.

Been there, done that.. Still overweight though, but not by much (~10Kg).

What has been working for me was a change of perspective, i.e., to accept that life is complicated and there's not enough time in one day to do everything I'd like to do. I now have a new "mantra" which is something in the lines of "any-thing is better than no-thing"..

I too used to read a lot of self-help books, but now they bore me.

I'm still playing catch-up with a lot of things that I should do, but I try to not overload my days. I have daily TODOs with no more than 2/3 things, and each Sunday/Monday morning I go to my weekly TODO lists and split those items through the week days. When I don't finish one thing on one day, I'll move it to the next one, etc. I use evernote for that, but could use a text file as well. I have some liberty in setting my schedule, so I try to do things in the morning and keep my afternoons free for house chores, taking walks, napping, or going somewhere to do something..

One cool thing that got me unstuck regarding things to do, was to sort them by "Easyness x Importancy x Urgency". If you tackle the most easy, important and urgent things first, you'll see things moving faster.. When you're down on motivation, don't listen to those who say that you should do the hard things first, as it requires motivation.

Also, every morning I do 20 abs on bed, then stretch my arms, legs, and do some 20 squats and some 10-15 pushups. It started by being only stretches, then abs, then 5 pushups, slowly moving along. Now it's a routine I have. I have way more energy, my partner agrees..

Also, I have dry eyes, so I started putting some drops, 2-3 times a day, and now I'm seeing way better, less headaches, more things being done.

In summary, it's the small things that add up. Don't try to do too much, too fast, too soon. Accept that life is hard and that our behaviors are hard to change (accepting != conforming).

Maybe save the $100 for a few months, and then try this: https://www.amazon.com/Living-SEAL-Training-Toughest-Planet-...

Try this for 2 weeks: https://www.reddit.com/r/PSMF/

The water weight you lose should help motivate. You can easily loose 10 pounds in a month if you count the calories (no exercise necessary). It’s just a pain in the ass. You’ll be hungry 24/7, but you will 100% get the results in a month. Then reduce calories again the second month. It’s just math, it works.

I’ll add that I think the reason people give up on fitness is because they don’t see results. Go hard for 4 weeks on a serious calorie restriction and you will see the results. If that doesn’t motivate you, you’re shit out of luck.

I struggle with discipline too and while I don't have much of a solution I just think the only way around it is to

1. Have a goal in mind

2. Make it easy for you to start but hard to stop

3. Do a small bit every day

To help with this is the "Don't break the chain" model which is basically getting a calendar and putting a big red X on everyday that you have worked on your goal. They start building up and eventually you don't want to have a gap between the X's.

There is also Atomic Habits by James Clear that I am currently listening to by audio book. It's a different approach but you may have tried it already.

That's a psychological problem. Got talk to a positive psychologist.

Some info out of Google: https://ppc.sas.upenn.edu/

Maybe you really don’t want to change, lose weight, exercise, side projects.

Does this show up in your professional life?

First step would be therapy and go from there. It could be something showing up in all areas of your life and you just don’t realize it.