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Sadly I have had to truncate the patent title due to character limitations. It is actually “Photon Push-Pull Radiation Detector For Use in Chromatically Selective Cat Flap Control And 1000 Megaton Earth-Orbital Peace-Keeping Bomb”.

In a nutshell, this patent simultaneously describes an invention that detects changes in radiation to allow a ginger cat to enter a house whilst excluding a black cat, and also a way of detecting a nuclear attack on the earth at which point a satellite will retaliate with a 1,000 megaton nuclear bomb on the aggressor.