What's new in Linux 2020 “Woke” Edition

- SIGVIRTUE added - All red-black trees have been modified to right/left trees. Now the left nodes loot and burn down other trees. - Any multithreaded code that exhibits a race condition will be labeled race-ist and be banned from further execution. - All files are the same size in order to enforce equality and fair distribution of resources. - There is no longer a root user. Everyone gets root. No more UID 0 privilege. - All network ports are open and in LISTEN mode even though they actually are not really listening. Data from a left tree is echoed in a recursive loop, data from a right tree goes to /dev/null. - The renice command has been renamed to trump. You can make one process trump another for priority. - The kernel may be susceptible to a new virus. It may test positive without any symptoms requiring all processes to be shut down for 14 days unless those processes are operating on behalf of left nodes. - Integers are no longer odd but they can be even. The floats were offended on behalf of the integers and protested. Integers are now even and special. - Namespaces have been removed so that we can all share one big global, genderless, stateless single race namespace. - Cgroups now favor processes that process a majority of left nodes automatically without notice or log message. - Many of these features will revert back after November.