Ask HN: Depression, Loss of Motivation, Feeling Lost. Please Help

1. I was in a similar state, and found out I had hyperthyroidism. Thyroid now removed, I'm much better, but there are many other such conditions that can be causing things that you might not have all the tools yourself to work out, so check with a doctor or your school's nurse at the very least.

2. Caffeine screws most people I know up. It's very fun and useful, and I don't recognize myself without it because I drank soda from a very early age, but this all could be contributing.

3. A lot of what you describe isn't too terribly bad, honestly, I mean, you need downtime, you are in college which is a hell of a lot of work.

4. The net makes you think you're terribly non-productive. Every single awesome throw-away link is some 10,000 man hours at the very least. I think we're all, in the tech world at least, trying to cope with this to varying degrees.

5. I highly recommend a counselor. Having a mostly unbiased third party is an amazing asset.

6. My big problem is not so much that I don't want to go out, just that I don't want to change what I'm doing, or I don't want to transition to the next thing. I highly recommend forcing yourself to get over that hump, and to go out and meet new people. Ask them questions. You'll hate it because they don't read the same feeds as you do, but you'll absolutely love it because if you hadn't done it, you would've never had had such a great time discovering what those people are all about. At the very least it is a great distraction, but often, people are a lot cooler than you may think.

Best of luck! You can do it!!!

With that being said, not all mental health professionals are created equally. Put together a list of those in your area. Have a session with a few of them before deciding on one. This sounds like at the very least depression, and maybe there are other things in play as well. None of these things are a big deal if dealt with properly. If not, they can last for years and put you in a bad place. Don't let it get to that stage. Make the decision to fix it now and get some help. Feel free to contact me personally if you would like to discuss in more detail.

I've been through rough times in the last year myself. Since a couple of months I am back on track again (or so it seems) and I've come to realize that my situation was/is far from rare. I've met people all over the place (once I was able to talk about it) who have been through nearly exactly the same thing.

Do you feel a diffuse stress at times? Diffuse meaning that you're not able to pinpoint where the stress originates from but at the same time the stress feels familiar because you've had the exact same feeling before.

I like to think of happiness as something I'm either taking in or using up (like food). Starving people can't immediately eat large meals. I would think of your condition in the same way, except you're starving for energy/life/happiness. You can build it up though. Find a little bit at a time until you can use that to find more.

Find something (anything) that holds your interest. So you can try to build up interest to eventual happiness. It will probably require social interaction. It would be great if you could eventually talk about a passion you have with someone who shares it.

I'm an intellectual introvert and a social animal. But if I'm in my house for weeks learning stuff, I start to lose my social appetite (meaning I don't want to talk to or meet people). Forcing yourself to do things feels meaningless, but it isn't always. You can find enjoyable times on accident. It's not always possible to predict whether you'll have a good time, so you have to use your energy to at least try.

I gave this advice to a friend and it worked. She started taking photography classes and I helped her figure out why she was depressed (moved home, no job, fewer friends, etc). Good luck.

Sounds like pretty typical depression.

I've passed through a similar phase when I was at the university long ago, too much partying, alcohol and lots of junk food. Drink water and try to exercise and achieve small goals (say, add two or five more minutes of running for session each week) and involve in another type of activities to give you some relief from stress without trashing your body.

Also, talk to other people/real friends about how you feel or seek counseling.

I certainly can't offer any concrete advice, people close to you and professionals you may have access to at college can. Take advantage of what they can do for you.

See if there is a club that you can join at your college; sailing, woodworking, fencing, pottery, etc... These have also helped me to find a motivation and a sense of accomplishment, plus they tend to push you to learn and grow your skills.

I dont know what use I could be of, but I can lend a ear anytime you need one. Or maybe help talk stuff over. If you feel you need that, email me cherian-dot-abraham-at-gmail-dot-com.

Instead of just advice, I thought giving you that was maybe a bit more helpful.

For me, exercise helps but isn't a panacaea. Proper sleep helps but too much sleep can be a symptom of depression I understand. I've had a tendency to almost obsessively research things sometiems in that position, close myself off in that pursuit then look back later and realise it's been an excuse to shut off. The people around you, odds on, care more about you and your health and happiness than you think. More of them have suffered or will suffer something like you are now than you might expect.

What little wisdom I do have in this area says to try and stay in touch with some degree of 'normal' life in the outside world. Forcing yourself into too much risks burnout which is no more helpful, but managing at least some leiure (i.e. outside classes) outside world interaction will, I suspect, help you. Most people are fundamentally nice and helpful IME, frankly,

(One little thing, you say you have no connection with your peers any more and seem to feel you've moved on beyond the pursuits that seem to interest them. For most of my life the vast bulk of my friends have been older than me; they're just who I tend to find interesting. Later stages of undergraduate education aren't conducive to significant friendships with older people than yourself though. You may find you benefit from trying to reach out into new social avenues outside education eo engage with peers at a different point in their lives than where you currently are yourself.)

Looking back, I realised I thought I was only good to be a student. Really, what I wanted was a real purpose and real problems to solve.

Your situation may well be completely different, of course.

Nil desperandum!

Do you know why? Has the work seemed meaningless, boring, overwhelming, etc.?

"I am unable to concentrate"

All the time or only during specific activities?

"I can't seem to find motivation to do work"

Do you have any motivation for non-work activities?

"and though I did have that phase, I can't stand that anymore."

Why can't you stand it anymore?

"I don't seem to understand what is wrong with me"

I know what that feels like. It's frustrating.

However, recently as of last year, I've started doing exercise every day, a consistent sleep pattern and my diet is pretty healthy. As for social links, I joined a Volleyball club. Despite being deaf, I get game challenges, exercise and a chance to chat a bit. Helps reduce the chance of burnout, or at least I feel fit.

If you're not feeling very motivated, do something that normally motivates you for a bit. Do you like the movies? Put in a movie, like Amelie for example. You are unlikely to laugh but it's a change of pace. Maybe play Starcraft 2?

Hope you recover soon.

Depression is a symptom, and can be caused by a variety of factors. You need someone who is unbiased and well educated, and a well-rounded chiropractor is a great starting point.

Nutritional Deficiencies Toxicity Malfunctioning (thyroid, adrenal)

these are all major possible contributing factors that need to be checked.

You can email me at anony304@gmail.com and I'll help you try to figure out the root. Detail in your symptoms helps too (e.g. do you get dizzy when you stand up, are you lethargic, digestive irregularities, etc).

2. get some basic physical testing done by a doctor in order to eliminate the possibility of conditions like anaemia or a thyroid problem

3. speak to a doctor/psychiatrist - preferably the latter - about the possibility of you suffering from depression/anxiety. be cautious of medication, especially in the US, but by no means completely discount it as an option.

I felt really better when I called home, achieved a little success or just took a break.

Are you at/near home? If not, visit home and some childhood friends.

Visit the hospital and you will see how lucky you are to be healthy,

I believe depression is just a state of mind and you are in control.

Just kow that life is generally not supposed to be serious.

I hope you feel better soon.

1. do NOT, under ANY circumstances, resort to "alternative" - i.e. clinically and scientifically invalid - medicine. there's absolutely no evidence that chiropractic, for example, could be of any use to you.

2. while you have several symptoms in common w/ depression don't take too seriously the people here declaring that it's that - it could be, but there are a number of other conditions - namely anxiety - which overlap w/ it, and the average HN reader isn't qualified to tell them apart.

It occurs to me you may be under challenged. It seems your academic life comes easy enough for you to simply go through the motions, allowing for listlessness to set in. To remedy that I'd find some challenge to take you out of your comfort zone like a marathon, for example, or trying to master something such as a game/sport or new skill. Done correctly, you won't really have time to stare at a screen for 30 minutes. Find something constructive that interests you. If it's something that scares you (because you may fail) even better. It may just be that you're in a rut and need to be shaken out of it. One thing is for sure: you can't regularly challenge yourself to scary things outside your comfort zone, succeed in such enterprises and remain depressed all the while. At least I sincerely doubt it.

Good luck!

Please make an appointment with whatever you have available at your school today (all colleges should have these services).

BTW: You're extremely brave to reach out -- my hat's off to you! But don't stop here! Take the extra step to get the help you need -- you do deserve it.

I was a top student all through high school and first year of college and became utterly depressed to the point where I failed a class because I simply could not drag myself out of my dorm room to go to the final exam. That happened to be a real kick in the pants for me... to jolt me out of my state. And get me to a doctor.

Few things that may help - It is a phase, it will pass. But you need to be proactive and get moving. And get to a doctor - please. - Join a bunch of clubs or sports teams (if you're athletic) or volunteer. Sometimes going to class seems unbearable but having other activities, especially ones where you have a commitment to show up for your team helps. - Get a job - same as above. Accountability to others helps. - Take time off and travel. If you're doing fine in college and getting decent grades etc., and can afford to skip a semester - do it! College is the last time you will have a chance to do completely new things. And traveling doesnt have to cost a lot of money... esp if you're a college student and dont mind hostels. - And above all, PLEASE DONT DRINK or SMOKE POT. Both will make the situation MUCH worse.

I cant say I fully recovered but I am not at all the way I was in college. You will get out of it, but you need to act.